Welcome to Gaia! ::

Senshi Haumea – Senshi of weddings –
-Haumea (mythology) , a goddess of fertility and childbirth in Hawaiian mythology
-Haumea (dwarf planet) , a dwarf planet in the Kuiper belt

Amazingly the school is TBA!!! Because I haven’t chosen, and it’s secondary to her personality and what she an do. Sorry!!


The Student –
Briallen McKenzie
Age: 18
Height: 5’11
Build – tall but curvy
Sign: Virgo
Born – September 16st.

Appearance –
Hair – White, just past her shoulders and strait.
Eyes: blue
Skin- a healthy pink
Face: oval.

Style: She prefers pinks, greens and whites for her clothes. Often wearing rose pink lipstick and a pastel mint eye shadow.

Fave Food – cup cakes, golden grams
Hated food – those ‘fancy’ (rejected) salad greens.

Family – Father – retired circus trapeze artist. – Mother – retired contortionist.
Extended family (and friends) Travel with the ‘Star Town Circus’ and while they aren’t normally around, when they are they act like one enormous family unit, whom Briallen more than a little longs to join. Though she has sworn to try for the higher education that her parents never had.


Hobbies: Yoga – Briallen is one of those ‘Crazy Flexible’ people. She can twist and turn and fold into positions that look down right painful outside of a circus. While she is primarily a ‘front bender’ contortionist she does strive (mostly in private) to extend her flexibility to ‘back bending’ as well. This in mind she uses Yoga to help keep her bendy and relaxed.




Merits: Flexible – both in body and attitude, she can go with the flow cooling taking things in stride and accepting things (and people) as they are with few exceptions. If plans need changed she'll give an instant yes and work out the details later.

One Big Family – if you’re her friend, you’re her family, like sisters and brothers she’ll take you all in. ‘The ties that bind’ after all. She excludes almost no one from this as she sees everyone as a sort of high school Circus. The question becomes, are you the Lion Tamer or the Clown?
Regardless she’ll treat you like family, little sisters, big brothers etc, your always welcome with her and she’s always someone you can turn to.




Flaws –

Day Dreamer – she’s got her head in the clouds. While she’s average in classes, you can always tell when she’s got a new fantasy in her head, or if her ‘Family’ is coming to down. She gazes out the windows, sighs distractedly and generally forgets the rest of the world exists. After all what could be more important than dreams of fame under the big top.

Snap like a rubber band – if somehow you get the best of Briallen’s temper be sure it’s going to be a sharp snap. She normally gets snappy, when other people are less flexible than her. Not physically mind you, but for plans and the like. Why can’t you understand that she’s just been asked to be 2 places at once and wants SOMONE to be as flexible as changing the original plans as SHE is – you are just SO ridged.


Anything you can do, YOU CAN DO BETTER! - Who you are now is no where near as good as who you -will- be when she's finished with you. First theirs a make over, and then theirs that little accent when you talk. You -really- need to ditch that attitude too after all this is for your own good. Just an A? Your -never- getting into Princeton that way. You want a date? Oh that's so sweet! Your kind and clever and handsome! Your perfect in every way, but who you'll be when she's finished will be even BETTER. Just remember, you have to be -flexible-



The Senshi

Fuku – designed … after a wedding cake/bridal gown mix. I wish I could think of how to incorporate more doves.



Color – Primarily white with some pink and mint greens, perhaps a little darker green for contrast and or soft gold’s.
Bow – translucent white and maybe lacy at the edges like a train. A pastel pattern of roses and thorny mint colored branches? (tied to an attack)
Bodice – White corset like tip with a ‘froth’ of a pink petal like trim peeking out?
Sleeves – NA
Brooch – perhaps a dove? Or something dove like?
Bottoms – Perhaps longer than normal? Starting out a solid white and ‘fading’ into translucent and lacy?
Tiara -- A slim gold chain? Maybe a veil that covers part of the back of her hair? Diamond in the front?
Collar – A white ribbon with a small pink rose ala wedding cake?
Shoes – Chunky high heeled strappy sandals, white. ((kinda young, fun, and makes her even taller, elegant.
With white stockings about thigh high if they show, Lacy at the top with either a mint or pink ‘fade’ and a little gold.
Gloves -- Long white, translucent and lacy edged, draping over her fingers and rising just past her elbows.
Accessories – A sort of Asian style ‘sash’ over her bodice? Main of it being white with lavender wisterias patterns and maybe spider mums, outer edge having an ‘inner’ thin line of the same lavender for the flowers and an thicker outer ‘rim’ of a soft golden color like two ‘rings’ but of fabric.




Attacks –

Haumea tosses an ethereal bouquet of flowers? - when caught, or struck with it initiates the following depending on level <-- this bouquet may be ditched

Ties that bind – an attack of ‘ribbons’ that sweep out to try and ensnare the target, binding them from movement for roughly 30 seconds.
The attack does NO DAMAGE, does not knock down the target and as noted with the bouquet... MUST -strike- the target or be -caught- by the target. It can be dodged.

Super Senshi –
With this ring - the ribbons are now joined by slender gold ‘chains’ and branches of briar roses that bind for the same duration of time but now add bruising and puncture damage.
This attack -does not knock down the target and as noted with the bouquet... MUST -strike- the target or be -caught- by the target. It can be dodged.

*possible* people who catch the bouquet may be freed faster as they are 'willing victims?.... we mean, recipients, really. - People who Catch the bouquet in either stage are bound for only 20 seconds?


Ultimate Attack –

Till Death do us Part.
Briallen selects two targets (one may be herself) these two targets become ‘bound’ to one and other, to kill or injure one is to kill or injure the other. However to create this effect she must touch one and then the other to ‘bind’ them. This attack lasts only for the duration of the fight and or a total of 1 minutes. OR can be canceled if Briallen is knocked out.
**reduced to one minute** leaving in double chance that it will not work.

I AM PRETTY SURE YOU JUST CREATED THE SENSHI THAT WILL DEFEAT CHARONITE neutral

Um, I quite like the concept of a character who has these admirable traits, but then has a short temper because she has these ridiculous expectations of others to have them. XD Expand on that, definitely.

I find it awesome that Briallen is exactly as old as I am (I just turned 18 September 16th).
I was planning on making a 'Senshi of Families' concept sometime too - if my mind kicked me in the rear hard enough, I'd have made them completely by now. XD

Critique Questions, though!
- What school does she attend? Might influence some things about her - minor, but can add up to give an image of her.
- Other than contorting herself, does she have anything else for a hobby? I'd say 'helping out other people' would be a good hobby for her, based on her 'you can do better!' flaw, though you could note that often, her clients are usually unwilling (seeing this is in the flaw category).
- However, the 'you can do better!' flaw seems like a double-edged sword, something that you could use with a positive spin for Briallen as well.

Best of luck in getting her, though - seems like an awesome idea.

First thing I'd say here is that you need to run through this through a spellchecker! A lot of the things you have written down, especially in the personality section, have great potential that's lost in the amount of spelling and grammar errors.

Secondly, why is she Sailor Haumia when the planet you've linked to is called Haumea? This is slightly confusing - is it a spelling error or is there another reason? (If there is, you should probably explain 'why' somewhere.)

Also, you seem to be missing some text under the merit 'One Big Family' - it's cuts off in the second sentence, at least on my screen.

Done with the technical stuff, I really love how you've portrayed her personality! To me, she sounds like the kind of person who are, on the surface, 'peace and love and everyone is beautiful the way they are!' but hides a slightly more judgemental nature underneath. Which is fantastic! Most people do that. <3 She sounds like a warm, caring person, and I think the flaws you've included are great and really give her a deeper personality, too. She's both interesting as-is and still have the potential for interesting character growth.

You are however aware that being a having limbs that flexible often cause serious health issues, especially for someone who utilizes it as much as Briallen does, right? People lose the control of their joints, break bones much more easily and often need corrective surgery - at very young ages, too, especially those who do it as often as she does. Contortionism sounds and looks cool, but is pretty much anything but. No responsible doctor would ever recommend someone to go into that field.
Even then though, it could be an awesome plot point if done well; and I think you could. I also think that it's something you should seriously consider though, as it's pretty prudent. (Also, contortionism is easier the less curves you have. But again, possible plot point? Something that she's had to struggle with to reach her dream?)

I love the 'Anything you can do, YOU CAN DO BETTER!'-flaw. Seriously. It is fantastic. I think I can see where you were going with 'Big family' but yeah, filling that out would help a lot.

To address what the other critiquers said, I think Game is right and adding another hobby would be a very good idea and give us a better image of Briallen!

I do think 'One big family' is a good merit, though, showing that she's extremely caring and easily lets others in. Again, we need the missing text. I think going with the flow fits well as you've written it. If there's one uniform thing about all her merits and flaws, it's that I'd like some elaboration. Flexible as well. What are the exceptions? Snap like a rubber band' might need a bit of re-wording, because it's slightly confusing as-is.

I like your first two attacks, they're fantatiscal and I think they fit the level of power well. I'm slightly concerned about the last one, but I don't actually know how powerful senshi are supposed to be at this stage, so I won't comment further.

All in all, I think this needs some refinement but the underlying concept is very good. When I saw the title my first thought was 'wtf, weddings?!' but you actually managed to convince me, haha! It's a good, solid concept and if you're willing to work on her a bit, Briallen would rock everyone's socks. Good luck!

* redid the spell check - also fixed the Haumia vs Haumea. Did you mean rather than spelling that I have word swapped? Because if anything that's normally what I do?

* Fixed 1 big family

* -Flexibility - OFTEN but not always. I did some leg work already to make sure that it wasn't a 'Must'. And yes, it is a fight for her to do that, I should include that. - More info, most contortionists are front benders or back benders, its VERY rare for someone to be both. She's a back bender to start because her chest gets less in the way. (at least from reading most back bends) Which isn't to say she can do them perfectly. She started this far too late to be a professional, but her parents gave her the genetic predisposition. :3 Does that help?


Yeah <3 if your in her family she's THAT much more likely to try and 'improve' you <3

Extra Hobbies - I felt that this would be her only 'serious' one. it would be enormously time consuming for her to continue to practice her flexibility AND the particulars of Yoga? While it might be easier for her to bend into certain shapes it might be harder for her to do them right? Balancing Yoga and school work PLUS circus dreams might be a 'stretch' no pun intended?



* I'll re-look at Flexible and Snap like Rubber Band - ((which I fear was titled such as an elasticity joke XD

Final Attack - I'm trying to be pretty careful with this, as there are multiple ways to prevent it from happening? Either she can't touch you, or you knock her out? Since it lasts only the duration of the fight and does no damage in and of itself I'm viewing it more as similar to Captain Nea's Damage reflecting mirror? IDK?


*pops knuckles* <3
I'll admit she was a 'Crack' idea being 'weddings' but the attacks came followed by the character as odd as that may be <3