Welcome to Gaia! ::

I believed from age 11-17. 17-18 became atheist. 18 became agnostic, got severly sick with about 20 different infections, nearly got kicked outta school, graduated, started to believe, prayed for forgiveness, was saved via vision from God, still 18 and am happy to just be alive after all the crap I was put through in my younger years. Yeah. That about sums it up. I have a full legnth feature story but until I get a request to hear it, it won't come out.

Mmkay. Well I started out my life before age 11 not knowing God or Jesus or anything religious even though my dad was Roman Catholic. When I hit eleven my parents decided it was time for my brother and I to be schooled in the ways of God and get baptized. Well from 11-17 it was uneventful, I believed in God so much that even though I was a victim/survivor of systematic sexual, verbal, and physical abuse from relatives, my mom and dad, and my string of horrible boyfriends. I stopped thinking too much about god when I turned 16. Prom night that year was Hell. Literally. Be glad that you only hear of rape stories and never have to live them. After my then boyfriend raped me most brutally I wondered what I did to get that. I then started down the bath of non belief, thinking that no God would be a well behaved and abused girl through that Hell but he did and I still find no reasoning behind it. BUt When I turned 17 I heard of the book called the Da Vinci Code. I know its fiction but it got me to thinking, maybe what the bible is is false. BUt then I went through on Gaia and started seeing all the uber zealous religous people forcing their views on aethists and agnostics. Damning homosexuals, anyone who even told a small white lie and then those who said but I am not a certain for of Protestant. It just killed every thought that I had that there was good christians out there and tha God must have hated all or abandoned us to self destruct. Of course durning this time I became sick with Fibromyalgia, I had a variety of infections and a surgery too during my 17th year of life. Like he was punshing me and also trying ot get me to come around at the same time. I just took it as I stopped believing so I was being damned and would never have hope of being saved. BUt then something great happened. I started to walk again and was able to graduate. I graduated and WALKED across the stage and got my diploma. I cried and nearly fell halfway through but I did it and realized that God does care, does exist and wants me to be in his flock. Thw whole walking thing: I had lost th ability to walk after I had gotten sick for 4 months solid but a few days before graduating I was able to walk again. BUt back to the story. I started to believe again. Then halfway through the summer I started getting bouts of sleep paralysis. And I only had two halluciantions in all the times I have had sleep paralysis. First one was a vision of a horrible place, fire, pain, everything bad. Then the next one was outside a liquor store. A guy looking like the Jesus we all see universally and he was dressed in torn jeans and a shirt with a fish symbol on it. He made the sign of the cross on my forehead and spoke to me saying: "Believe in me child, you will be saved, just believe in me and follow the truth of God." I then was brought back down to earth because I feltout of my body when he said this. I was able to move and then was firmly rooted in the fact that God exists and that Jesus saved us and paid for our sins with his blood. I am no particular denomination though I do go to a Lutheran Church. I choose to worship God my own way, in my room with a few prayers on a Saturday not doing work like he asks. Since that vision and out o body experience I have been firlmy planted and now fully believe and know I am saved. Jesus told me himself that I was saved. And there ya go.

Erm, not sure if thats a compliment or what.

I thought I had it rough...geez. But that is awsome. God can change any situation. I'd love to hear some more from you guys. Get to know each other. Give each other advice! God Bless!

It was weird for me, I always believed in God, and Jesus, and that he died for our sins.... I just didn't want to go to church. Nor did I want to pursue a relationship with him. But, about a year ago, I started going to chruch. I LOVED it. Now, I'm a member of the church's praise and worship band, I preach at Youth, and I live a life for Christ.

God has told me to do something, but it's ironic.... I've always said during prayer "Tell me what to do, and I'll do it." But, he's told me something that requires me to get out of my 'comfort zone', and I all of a sudden start questioning myself. I'm trying to convince myself to listen to him, but I'm hoping that I don't wimp out, and take the easy way out.

hey, what do I do? I'm kind of torn up right now, although fait's doing wonders at keeping me together.

You see, I can't get off the fact that last month on my 18th birthday, I had a funeral of my 14 year old friend, Hannah. My other 14 year old, very close friend, Angie, is still in the hospital, as well as the girl's older sister, who over a month later is learning how to walk & talk and still ahsn't learned of Hannah's death. Angie can see, squeeze her left arm, and understand what's said. she also has a fever and will be getting a permanent shunt & a piece of her skull put back in on the same day Bethany's getting bars in her mouth out.

What do you do when this sort of thing happens? I have great friends, but they were all so excited about going to see Narnia on the 9th of Dec. with our youth group, but now what? Especially Angie. they all loved the lord, and still do, but I can't get my mind off of it.

I keep wanting to talk about it, and am getting kinda obsessed it seems, but what now?

I'm just a bit lost. sad crying cry

Maybe like 2 years ago was one of those kids that just went to church. I didn't care about it really. I thought it was boring and what not. My parents didn't have to drag me there I just didn't care. I never really felt it was changing my life any. I guess it was God trying to give me a wake up call or something when my dad died last year this month. About then me and one of my friends had a big talk about a lot of things over AIM. I was telling her how I didn't belive and crap. I was asking her why God took my father away from me and my family. I stopped going to church for a long time. (Still kinda guilty of that, What can I say I like to sleep. ninja ) I was on the music forum of this website when I found the Christian music offical thread..it was either that or a thread like it I don't reamber. if it was the offical thread it was when it just started. Well I was just looking in it out of curiosty and well a few band names popped up that I thought sounded cool, so I put them into the thing on yahoo. None of them really impressed me. One did though. Kids In The Way, I don't know why but they just spoke to me some how. So I sent them an email and they replyed back and something they said to me just clicked. I don't really know what it was but it just happend. Yeah so here I am now.