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 Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 6:59 pm
So I'm back again with more boyfriend/parental problems. You think I'd learn to take my own advice one of these days and just grow some balls.
Anywho, here's the dealio:
I promised my boyfriend that I would have a little chit chat with my dad before the end of the semester that would finalize everything. Finalize being...telling my dad to shut it if he doesn't like the fact that I'm with my boyfriend, and that I don't need his approval and yada yada yada. It's so much harder than I ever thought anything to be to tell my own dad to shut it and deal with it. Especially with something like this. But I promised my boyfriend--I promised him. I can't go back on a promise. This upcoming Friday is the last day of the semester, and finals are the week after. My dad's birthday is also this upcoming Friday. Talk about "Happy Birthday!" eh?
I know it's going to really really hurt and disappoint my dad--there's no way around it. There's no compromising either--my dad won't compromise anymore than he already has and my boyfriend's already been dragged through this for far too long, I don't want to make him go through it anymore. I just...don't know...how to grow the balls to just up and do it already.
It's driving me insane. This issue has driven such a huge wedge in my and my dad's relationship. Words of advice anyone? sad
Edit: Here's a hint of good news to put some light back into a gloomy situation as this. My boyfriend and I went out today and bought rings. smile Well, I ordered his and put a down payment on it, and he put mine on layaway because he didn't have enough money on him at the time. They look like wedding bands, lol. 10k white gold and they're going to be engraved on the inside with, "We'll Find Heaven." Hopefully, they'll arrive before Christmas--engravings and all. heart
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Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:32 pm
Once it's over it's over. Too late to go back and avoid the guy's birthday now.
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Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:43 pm
...as the wind whistled past it whispered in your ears...
I can imagine it starting out like, "I love you dad, but..."
...then the words drifted away, never to be heard again...
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Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:19 pm
Well, I could always prolong it a few days after, but I figure that to be pointless, since it's inevitable.
And I actually have started conversations like that before. "I love you, Dad, but...I want to be honest with you, Dad, but...You know I respect you, Daddy, but..."
It's just getting old. And I'm growing very mentally fatigued.
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Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 11:56 am
*hugs*
i am sorry i don't have any advice to give you, *looks down* i can't see past my own problems at the moment... but, erm, there's a happy thread? and erm, well if you ever need to vent you cam pm me.
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Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:05 pm
Thanks, shandrel. heart I always seem to be able to help others and give them advice on their own problems, but can't seem to take my own advice for some reason. Easier said than done, I guess. confused
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Chieftain Twilight Captain
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:54 pm
i'm sorry dear.. honestly i'd suggest waiting till after the b-day, but only if you think you can.
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Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:26 pm
Well. It's done. I dunno what's to come of this, but it appears as though things may even be harder for me and my boyfriend after this. Yesterday was my darling's birthday, and my dad made it hell for me to get out with him that day. So much so that my boyfriend was || that close to calling the relationship quits if I didn't get out of this house permanently. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for 15 minutes. I'm pretty beaten down by this; it hurts...a lot.
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Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:34 pm
Um. Wow, I am late to comment. I am sorry. At the most, if he calls it quits, regardless of irritating circumstances thats not cool. I may not know the extensts but I believe whole heartedly that love is patient, love is forgiving, no matter how many times it is hurt, love is never harsh. This is how I am. As for your father, it is hard, it is still hard for me to do the same to my dad. But when he and I get into spats I just tell him how I think and feel on a topic and then tell him while I love him and respect him, it is my life. If ya ever need a dose of sunshine just contact me. That is what I am. But yay, rings ^_^sounds pretty. I love white gold and silver so that made me thing"ohhh shiny" haha sorry, anyway be safe and i wish you all the good luck I can ^_^
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Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:58 pm
damnit... wel, i'm sure he only said that out of anger.
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Chieftain Twilight Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 11:39 am
*hugs*
wow, that's rough.... cry
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:59 pm
I'm still thinking I need to talk to him about it--find out how much of anger he really said it out of, because I'm sure it wasn't just completely because he was letting his emotions get to him...I'm sure he's had pretty much enough of the whole situation.
I've tried going the "it's my life, I'm an adult" route with my dad, king--he still thinks of me as a child, so it never works. He says he'll stop dictating my life once I turn 21. It's only a year away, but then again...it's a full year away.
To make matters worse, my boyfriend's heading back home after the semester--almost 2 hours away. He said he can make it up here once a week to visit me, but...with my parents the way they are, it's going to be hella difficult, if not impossible. The break is 5 weeks, guy--5 weeks! I hate going a weekend without seeing him. 5 weeks!!
cry
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:30 pm
Well, I don't have much more I can say in the way of how I feel because this is still your life, your choices, feelings. But you know the guild is here for you, I know that Zach and Shandrel are great people, I can think of plenty of others. So you are never alone if you need help, someone to cry to, some oen to cause a laugh or to just be silly.
Good luck, and if your parents insist on treating you as a child, and you are in their house, let them to an extent, take baby steps, not necessarily try for it all at once, but work your way up the chain.
I apologize for the rambling. Best of wishes.
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:38 pm
The subject has pretty much been talked to death between my boyfriend and I. This is actually the only problem my dad gives me--it is the only thing that is causing tension in the household right now. He doesn't mind if I stay out a little later with my friends; he doesn't mind me going out every other day with my friends, my sister, or even by myself--the only thing he has a problem with is my boyfriend.
What he's telling my sister is that he doesn't believe my boyfriend is good enough for me--that I can do better. Let's just do something crazy and imagine that's even close to being true for a second here...I would want to find out for myself. I don't want him sitting there telling me who's good for me and who is.
He's calling me naive. He thinks that it's his fault that I may be just naive enough to drop out of school because I want to start a family with my boyfriend. My education is one of the most important things to me at this time--my goal in life is to open my own clinic. And he thinks I'm going to drop it all...to start a family. I don't even like kids. And the worse part of this? He doesn't even have the nerve to tell me all of this--I learned this through my 16 year old sister. They sit down and have dinner together every night. And the topic of discussion on most nights...is me. And my boyfriend. And how my dad thinks I'm throwing away my life for him.
It makes me angry--angry enough to cry, angry enough to blame myself for not being the daughter he wants, angry to the point of pain, angry enough to want to do something stupid for the sheer joy of spiting my dad. But I'm not like that. I can't do that. I just wish it would all stop. I wish he would stop and just let me live and make my own damn mistakes.
I apologize to anyone who read this wall of text--I'm emotional. cry
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Chieftain Twilight Captain
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:38 pm
remember this though dear.
things get better with time, as long as you keep Faith, Trust in the Love you Share, and always be there for eachother as best you can. phone calls and online chats help make the distance feel a little shorter while you wait, though i know it doesn't make missing eachother go away.
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