What was this? Was he crying? Were those tears in his eyes? He paused and lifted a paw, swiping it across his face to rid himself of such a surprising show of grief. Assassins were cool-headed, stone-faced in the dawn of danger and sadness and the end. But, he reminded himself slowly, he wasn’t an assassin anymore. That life was far behind him and all that was left of it were haunted fears that his brother might come to seek his death.
Was it odd that someone who had brought so much death feared it so dearly? Yes, he had brought death to those who he had deemed deserved it. Sinners. Cub-nappers, murderers, rapists. Those who lived only to make others suffer. And yet…since the incident with his brother and travelling away from his pride, he had begun to realise that it was not up to him to make that decision. How could he decide who lived and who died?
But it was too late to change, he realised. His past was haunting him and his mistake with his brother meant that he could not stay with those he loved. He could not put them at risk.
And yet…
He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to leave behind his dearest friend again. He remembered her eyes, how sad they looked and wondered if she knew that he was despairing over leaving her.
Could he really go? Could he really not protect her if the worst did come to light?
Perhaps it was time to stop running. To turn and face his fears, to face his past and rise up to the horrors of his past. Could he do that if it meant being with Makhi? He turned to glance back at the desert lands where she lived. Her beautiful home in the middle of nowhere. Could there be any place more hidden and out of the way? He shook his head and bangs on mane fell into his eyes.
“What is the right thing to do?” He asked of no one.
A crow, feasting on the bare bones of some dead animal, righted itself and squawked angrily, flapping its big, dark wings. Altair cast it a sidelong glance and stepped away, not liking the look of its sharp beak.
He attempted to move off again, trying to put as much distance between him and the lands as possible, hoping that distance would help ease the pain swelling in his chest. But it didn’t and he was forced to stop again, daring another glance over his shoulder.
He couldn’t do it.
He couldn’t leave her.
He feared the future and what might happen if he went back, but there was something that stilled his paws this time. Something he finally realised, just then.
He was in love with that golden female with those innocent eyes and brilliant smile. How could he leave someone he wanted to be with so badly? No, the answer was simple. He couldn’t. He would protect her from harm and so would the pride. Besides that, the likelihood of ever being found was next to none and…would Hala really leave his pride to come after him? Hala was respected and loyal. To leave the pride would be to exile himself from the assassin life – a life that he loved.
Should he really let the fear of his brother stop him from living?
The answer was simple. No. Because if he did, then his brother was already enacting his revenge, without even being there.
It was settled, then. He was going to get on with his life, move on. He wasn’t going to live in fear anymore. He wasn’t going to keep running for the rest of his life. He wanted a new home. A new life with a dear, cherished friend at his side.
“I’m going to turn over a new leaf. I’m going to start again. It’s time to stop being unhappy and afraid.” And, moving into a speedy lope, Altair made his way back to the Tuait’tekam, wondering if it could be a future home for him. For him and Makhi.
/fin.
