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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:35 pm
Still working on adding all my info, but I would love some crit / help!
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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:36 pm
SAILOR VELA, SENSHI OF HYPNOSIS Name: Dallas Bridges Nicknames: D. Gender: Female Age: 17 School: Meadowview Birthday: August 9th Family: Mother, Addison Bridges Sign: Leo Blood Type: 0- Fav. Food: Pomegranate fruit & gummies (Anything with pomegranate in it, really) Hated Food: Pork & beef Siblings: She has no siblings Home life: Dallas lives with her mother, Addison. When Dallas was little her mother and father split up, she hardly ever saw her father growing up, because of this her mother smothered her with attention, all through out her life. Now, as a teenager she just isn't use to not getting some kind of praise or credit for what she does. This life style has effected her relationships with people.
Hobbies: Palm Reading- Dallas picked up a book on Palmistry a few summers ago and has been reading palms for fun (but maybe not all that well!), for a while now and though she isn't trained and doesn't truly believe in it, like, at all, this little hobby of hers makes for a lot of funny conversations and it's a good hobby to do when she wants to entertain friends. She often tries to make people laugh, giving crazy readings, like "You will have 18 children, 3 husbands and live in the a shoe."
Making collages- Dallas loves mixed media art, thanks to her mother who has been taking Dallas to art shows all her life. In her free time makes mixed media collages for her friends, as birthday cards and gifts. She does more personal work that involve her dreams, but she keeps that to herself.
Lucid Dreaming- A lucid dream is a dream that someone is aware of, and in the dream can actively participate in and often manipulate the imaginary experiences in the dream environment. Dallas started to practice lucid dreaming after hearing about it from her mother, Addison, who also got Dallas into making collages. Dallas thinks that dreams are gateways into your deepest truths, and that you are only truly self-aware when dreaming, so she tries to explore this thought by practicing Lucid Dreaming. She often practices lucid dreaming, writing down her dreams before she turns them into art. It's a process, but it's one she enjoys doing- and because she keeps this hobby private, it's personal to her. But, because her cat naps are so short she doesn't have time to dream, so she doesn't bother trying to record them when she naps, she saves this hobby for bed time.
Virtues: Loyalty- Dallas is a friend for life, but is a "selfish-loyal" type. When she offers to skip out on school to bring a sick friend soup for lunch, she goes with the expectation that on her return there will be thanks and praise waiting. Because of this habit as well as her hard exterior that most do not want to befriend, she will do anything and everything for the few people who stick around. It can be assumed that Dallas will not go out of her way to keep a friendship if she can not hog all the attention and keep all the credit of "offering helping hands" to herself. Most of the time her friends do not even realize she is the way she is BECAUSE she can appear so genuine, but when they start to hint at things, she just has this natural "influencing" that makes them believe otherwise.
Humor- Dallas is funny to a certian kind of person, though most of the time she can make anyone laugh- just so long as she's not pinpointing anyones flaws in particular. Much of her humor tends to be sarcastic, but she can get the quietest people chuckling when she makes her silly remarks
Imagination- Dallas has a huge Imagination. She is a dreamer at heart, and it shows in her art and hobbies. She expresses herself through her art, dreams and ability to form mental images and concepts in her mind. She likes to think that things aren't so' black and white', that there is more to the world than what can be seen. This helps Dallas when it comes to making new friends, as she isn't one to judge right off the bat, it's hard to get to know someone with a closed mind. To her, there isn't a 'good' or 'bad' side, thus she stays neutral in most conflicts, and would try to make friends with anyone at first.
Flaws: Loyalty- For how much work she puts into the relationships to keep them strong and thriving, for whatever reasons she may have to do so as well, a lot of the time Dallas might end up getting hurt more than she helps. In a sense she opens completely to the people who offer her the attention she strives to obtain, and because it is always so hard for strangers to get past her hard personality she will often take on any friendship that becomes available. It is Karma, really; because she is SO DAMN selfish, she can not make the right choices in these friends and is often left groveling for the wrong type of "crowd" who, in nearly all cases, use her just as much as she uses them.
Selfish: Her impatience is more direct to things that do not involve her, making her a bit selfish. This ties in with the fact that she hates to work in teams but loves to help her friends. In working on a team, she must share the praise and the good grades, but when she helps a friend, SHE is the only person who gets the pat on the back, and when she does work alone, SHE is the only person being graded.
Impatient- Dallas is impatient to an extent, she gets very impatient when it comes to little, trivial things such as waiting for school to end, waiting on friends to come over to her house, waiting for a package in the mail, but when it comes to art, she can sit on her a** for four to six hours just doing little things. She can get impatient with people, too, it's why she prefers not to work in large groups.
Over all weakness: Doesn't work well in a team- Because Dallas can be impatient and gets frustrated easily when she is, she has a very hard time getting along in a team/ in teamwork. She would rather work with one partner, (two pushing it); Why let other's do it when you can do it yourself better?; And with her selfishness, she wants to take all of the credit for herself.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Totes changed her hair design: Hair Hair
FastDoodles: 'Cept with the new hair. Will redraw later. Dallas, by Ende Outfit idea Dallas 1 <- color reffs Dallas 2 <- Back collar reff (But with pretty Natu tweeking.)
Eyes: Wide, dark green Hair: Dark brown, down to her shoulders, wavy, bangs to the side so you can see her full face. Hair is shaved on one side. Face: Long, soft; A small nose and lips to match, freckles along her cheeks and nose. Senshi: Sailor Vela, Senshi of Hypnosis Fuku: Follow doodle for colors/design Color -- Shades of grays and muted garnet. Collar -- Traditional sailor collar front, longer and pointed in the back (comes to a VV in the back) Bow -- Big and full, follow doodle for design. Bodice -- Bodice that the senshi have in the series, form fitting, the bust is dark gray, the body a lighter tone. Follow reff for design on the side. Sleeves -- Little sleeves like in my doodle. See-through. Brooch -- A circle with a dark swirl in the center, colored in red and outlined in silver. Bottoms -- a mini skirt, follow doodle for design. Stockings with swirls on them. Tiara -- A basic tiara with a red stone in the middle. Collar -- A basic collar with a swirl in the center. Shoes -- Dark gray boots with low heels, dark red buttons going up the side. Gloves -- Just below elbow length gloves, follow doodle for colors. Eye in the center of the right glove; (Palm of hand) Accessories -- Silver pendent with an eye in the center she wears around her neck; thing silver lace.
Challenge: I'll put you into a trance! (Thank you Melodine!) Attacks (1) Pendulum swing!- Puts the enemy into a trance like state, leaving them open to attack (Or flee!) for a few minutes. (About 5 minutes max) Dallas stands very still, while closing her eyes she opens her arms wide, black mist forms in the center of her arms as she circles her hands slowly, she drops her silver pocket watch (So it's hanging from her hands) slowly rocking it back and forth while it's center spins, putting the enemy into a trance.
(1p) Misconception! (Pendulum swing power up) - Dallas sends out hypnotic waves to the enemy, (like a psychic mind attack), dealing a good amount of damage to her enemy while leaving them in a trance like state for a few seconds. Dallas maneuvers herself around the enemy quickly, using her hands she pushes them together so her thumbs cross, hypnotic waves are released and deal damage onto the target while leaving them in a trance like state.
(2) Hypnotic twist!- Puts the enemy into a deep trance, forcing them to attack their teammates. (Redirect their move onto their teammate.) Dallas places her hands together and turns slowly, moving in a circle until she finds her center, standing still she holds her left hand out, the 'eye' on her glove shines and sends out waves of dark swirls, locking the enemy in place, redirecting their attack toward their teammate.
Downfall in attacks: She has to stand very still before casting her attacks, leaving her open to attack herself. :'v
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 3:18 am
Going to bed now, but i'll add the rest in the morning <3
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:20 am
For challenge suggestions, maybe "I'll put you into a trance!" or something along those lines?
For attacks maybe you can draw inspiration from post-hypnotic suggestion? Perhaps making opponents perceive obstacles in their way to be invisible, and therefore she could trick them into stumbling and knocking into things? these are just suggestions biggrin
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:22 am
/So isn't sleeping ;s;
! Thank you for that link, I was just googling things like this!
I was thinking, for attacks, maybe doing one where she puts them into a deep trance and makes them attack themselves, rather than her attacking them, so it's something along the lines of what you suggested. :3
I love the challenge! heart
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:40 pm
Still thinking about attack two...
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 2:40 am
Added weakness and second attack, I think I have everything now. <3 Crit Cirt Crit!
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:15 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:25 am
Ooo~
First off, love the name. Dallas. It's so cool ;D
Okay, start with the good. I really like how you've got Loyalty as a virtue AND a flaw. It demonstrates well how one attribute can be taken in two completely different ways. I also love how you've expanded her attacks, letting us know exactly how they're carried out so we can visualise it in our heads. I like both of her attacks, and I LOVE the swirly bit on the back of her collar. That fits in really well with her star seed, since hypnosis and swirlyness like...goes together xD
Now, the crit! First a suggestion to do with her fuku - hypnosis, as far as I think of it, tends to be someone dangling a watch in front of your eyes and making you fall asleep. Perhaps incorporate a watch into her fuku? A pocket watch on a chain, or something similar. Just a suggestion ;3 With her virtues and flaws, perhaps expand a little on how they affect her, especially being a Senshi. For example, she's impatient. Does that mean she'll get bored and leave if a battle is taking too long? Also, there's a small contradiction - she doesn't work well in a team and likes being alone, yet she's a loyal friend. Surely if she'd rather be alone she wouldn't condone many friends, if any? And she wouldn't be 'clingy'?
Just tweak a few minor things and I think she could be great ;D It's an awesome idea, hypnosis <33
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:32 am
<3 Dallas does win.
Mmm, I think where I am trying to go with the whole 'doesn't work well in a team vs. loyal friend' is, to me, you can be a good friend without having to put yourself into a team or group of people. I think of her as someone who would work well with a second person (Third pushing it) But, in large numbers, she just couldn't do.
-Tweeks some stuff-
And with her being impatient, I think of it more like, rather than her leaving because she is not being stimulated, she gets more worked up over being pissed off at the fact things are taking so long? :3
and I like the idea of the pocket watch, I think I could add that into her attacks, too. <3 Thank you so much, hon.
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:43 am
Very interesting hobbies! Unique and cool. I love that she's so influenced by her mother, I think that's very believable for being raised by a single parent for most of her life.
I love that loyalty and humor are both virtues and flaws. I was going to ask for more info in the virtues section, but I think having the downside explained gives a solid, fleshed-out feel overall.
I wouldn't say no to more explanation on how "imagination" works as a virtue for her. I think you've hit the start of it in "likes to think that things arn't so black and white" - expand from there. Does this mean she accepts people more easily, that she's not judgmental, that she'll just as easily make friends with the bad guys as with fellow senshi?
Impatient and bold are great flaws!
Love her hairstyle and the fuku ideas <3
First attack, awesome. For the second, it might be better to say they attack their teammates, rather than themselves? Since the Negaverse have physical weapons rather than magical ones, it's hard to imagine them hitting themselves with a sword/rope/jumper cable, etc.
Hope this helps! I think you're almost ready for marking ^_~
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Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:58 pm
<3 thank you so much, -Tweeks some info-
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:54 am
Tweeked some stuff, maybe ready for marking soon?
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:40 pm
Lucid Dreaming: I find this hobby a bit hard to believe, given the tricky tangibility of dreams. I think if she kept a dream journal and practiced lucid dreaming it would be more believable. This is a tricky hobby, and I think you'd have more fun if she was trying to master it than already being a master of it -- she could yell at people while trying to write down the dream she just had in the middle of class, then yell at them again for making her forget what she was dreaming about! I'm curious about what SHE thinks of the hobby. You've told us what it is, but not how Dallas views it. Is it just a way for her to get inspiration for her art/drawings? Why does she try to remember her dreams? Does she agree with the popular theory that dreams are a method in which the subconscious tries to bring issues to the conscious mind? Does she do it just for fun? What does she get out of it? Loyalty: This is a VERY popular virtue. How does Dallas' loyalty differ from everyone else's? She does anything and everything for them -- is there a limit? Say it's pouring down rain, and a friend of hers who lives in the opposite direction forgot their umbrella. Woul Dallas give it to them without a second thought? Why? Because she's THAT loyal? Humor: "She doesn't try to be funny, she just is." Here you're telling me she's funny -- I'd like you to SHOW me she is. How about an example? Will she, say, purposely misread someone's bleak future outlined in their palm just to get them to laugh? Loyalty Flaw: If she tries to save unhealthy relationships, what does she base her method of picking friends on? How does she make friends? This isn't something to add in here, but it's something that could go under the virtue section. Sarcastic: How does she come off as a sarcastic person? Examples please. Does she have no sense of pitch and speaks in a monotone voice, so her "Those jeans make you look so phat!" compliment might come off as the deadpan "Those jeans make you look so fat!" insult. Impatient: If she's impatient, how can she indulge in lucid dreaming? Dreams are things you have to be patient with, as one wrong push often makes them disappear. She's not impatient with her art, but is with everyone else? Is her impatience more along the lines of "keep up with me!" than anything else? Overall weakness: You can have only a max of four flaws and/or virtues. You'll need to remove a flaw in order to have her inability to work well on a team. I'd like to see you work her hobbies more into her flaws/virtues and how they affect her. Hobbies are more than things that characters do when they're not in school -- they also help define who they are. Like, take her palm reading hobby. She has a sarcastic sense of humor and doesn't believe in it herself, but will she try to dupe people into believing "OH NO THIS LINE MEANS YOU'LL HAVE A SHORT LIFE YOU'RE GOING TO DIE BY FALLING PIANO TOMORROW!" or...? Also, she doesn't like working on a team, she's impatient, sarcastic, and bold... Why would anyone want to be friends with her? How does she get friends? If she hates working on a team so much, why is she so fiercly loyal to her friends? I think you just need to work out these contradictions out, then you'll have a solid character.
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