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[Q]Lt. Braunite [Crits, pls!][RL Slot]

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elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:54 am


Rofl, my first, please don't mind my newbness!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braunite

Name: Felicia Webb

Nicknames: none

Gender: Female

Age: 19

School: Sovereign Heights

Fav. Food: Bread (especially freshly baked bread, mmm)

Hated Food: Tofu, it's just disgusting

Virtues:
Logical: She is always the logical thinker. She loves to figure things out like puzzles and math problems; she thinks there are less people in the world like this. This lets her see different sides of problems than others. She can also be someone of a computer nerd, making her own websites and such. She loves to find the relationship of things. It takes steps to figure things out and chooses the answers that make sense.

Knowledge: What good is logical thinking if you aren’t smart. Felicia makes the good grades, ok well not the best grades in English and history (they are decent) but in her math and science classes she excels. She loves to learn new things, be it for classes or how to sew! She tried to do new things, even if they don’t turn out to well, like cooking.

Loyal and trustworthy: To those she is friends with, she is loyal too. If you are on her good side, you will learn that she is loyal and always supports those she calls her friends. Felicia always holds up expectations others have of her, she doesn’t like to let people down.

Flaws:
Over-thinking/analyzing: Going with her logicalness, she tends to over think some problems, be it math or real life. She'll take a part movies and commercials to disprove them. Even if one was to tell her to let it be and just enjoy it, she'll still be thinking 'But you can't hack a Mac like that, grumble grumble.' This doesn't work out to well for homework when she thought the problem was to easy so she must have done something wrong, and then redoes it wrong, completely overshooting the easy answer.

Sarcasm: She can be so sarcastic sometimes that well, one can't tell if she's doing it or not. This gets her in trouble sometimes because she'll answer someone sarcastically and they will think that is what she truthfully meant, or if she were to answer something and meant it, they'll think the opposite of it. When one can understand her sarcasm, it's pretty funny.

Impatient: Felicia dislikes waiting for things to be done, classes to end, waiting for 7pm so she can eat dinner. This also goes into if there is something she wants, a new game or something, she can’t let the idea of not getting it go. She can’t understand why people can’t get some things finished quicker either. This all leads to some nervous habits, like constantly messing with her hair or tapping her foot.

Procrastination:


Hobbies:

Reading: She is a completely dork when it comes to reading. She loves to read fantasy and sci-fi books, elves, dragons, magic? Speaking of magic, she loves books about wizards perhaps the most.

Puzzles: She loves to do puzzles, sudoku, word finds, you name it! The harder the better too!

Video Games: What logical computer person doesn't play video games? It's a great way to own some newbs release frustration. They don't make you a violent person. Right? ... oh

Eyes: Green, glasses?

Hair: red/brown, Large braids, kind of like THIS (just the two big ones, not just list and no littler ones)

Face: Oval, slightly large ears(kind of stick out)

HINK EVIL MILITARY/BUSINESS CASUAL

Top -- thigh-length traditional side-fastened coat? Shorter? Longer? Exposed undershirt? Cropped? Buttons? Toggles? Shoulderpads? Long sleeves, or short sleeves? Sleeves at all? What's the collar like? Could even be a dress? Piping is traditionally where you put your secondary colour. Lieutenant outfits tend to be free of many decorations.
Bottoms -- skirt? Pants? Shorts? Culottes?
Gloves -- got any?
Belt -- belt? No belt?
Shoes -- what kind?
Shoulders -- epaulettes?
Accessories -- what kind?
Weapon -- CHANGED
Can you say Diabolos? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabolo
Eventually turning into some sort of flail thing.

main color: idk D:

secondary:



corsets and flowy looking things. J-rock. Layering. This top is really neat. Not overly girly though. Belts, stripes are fun. Gothic, Victorian maybe. Greens, lots of green of any shades, black/grey.
kinda neat
neat too


I'm not good at making up pretty outfits, it'll be a have fun and make something one biggrin

main: shade of blue, grey or brown

secondary color: jade green, lol
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:55 am


One more post, just in case.

elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit


Savvy-Style

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:30 am


First, let me just say, Yum, bread!! I like her already!! 8D

*goes to actually read the rest of the profile*

Just some little spelling stuff (not actually crit yet XD but I know I always love me some spelling and grammar help =D)
Spelling and Grammar!
She can also be somewhat(or -thing) of a computer nerd, making her own websites and such. She loves to find the relationship of things. It takes steps to figure things out and chooses the answers that make sense.

What good is logical thinking if you aren’t smart? Felicia makes the good grades,...ok, well, not the best grades in English and History (they are decent) but in her math and science classes she excels. She loves to learn new things, be it for academic classes or how to sew! She tries to do new things, even if they don’t turn out to well, like cooking.

To those she is friends with, she is loyal too.

This doesn't work out too well for homework when she thought the problem was to easy so she must have done something wrong, and then redoes it wrong, completely overshooting the easy answer.

She can be so sarcastic sometimes that well, one can't tell if she's doing it or not.


So with that out of the way, so far so good I think =D

She seems like a nice girl, so what is she doing joining the Negaverse? What are her reasons for 'coming to the dark side'?
Always good things to think about :3 (and explain!)

I like her overanalyzing flaw, that seems to be the closest you have to a weakness. How would this affect her in battle situations do you think?

(can't wait for you to finish procrastination....I especially like how you procrastinated on it 8D)

The hobbies are nice, but kinda...short? If you could elaborate on them a bit more, like how they fit into her daily life (rather than just enjoying doing it) that'd add some more depth to her :3

I also love her Knitting needle weapons ^o^
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:36 am


Thanks ^__^

Yeah, grammar isn't my strongest point, I'm a math person. So help on that is awesome biggrin

Adding her joining the Negaverse is a great idea, I'll get on that.

I ... am tempted to leave procrastination forever blank XD

I'll add to her hobbies too, I hadn't completely finished that one fully. smile

Thanks, I think they'd be a great weapon to use, lol

elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit


Savvy-Style

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:43 am


I abuse commas like a dry british humorist, I swear >_> so don't feel too bad ^o^

lol, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY LEAVE IT FOREVER BLANK 8D (I'm not sure if that'd fly with the staff, but I think it's particularly hilarious XD)

Sounds good, sounds good, I could tell the profile wasn't finished yet, just trying to give some gelpful tips as far as what was there =D

Can't wait until your RL slot comes up!!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:54 am


I too am wondering what on earth such a nice sounding girl is joining the Negaverse for!

Quote:
Knowledge: What good is logical thinking if you aren’t smart? Felicia makes the good grades, ok well not the best grades in English and history (they are decent) but in her math and science classes she excels. She loves to learn new things, be it for classes or how to sew! She tries to do new things, even if they don’t turn out to well, like cooking.


The underlined sentence sounds a little bit like a run-on, but that could just be me being picky.

Quote:
Over-thinking/analyzing: Going with her logicalness, she tends to over-think some problems, be it math or real life. She'll pick apart movies and commercials to disprove them. Even if one was to tells her to let it be and just enjoy it, she'll still be thinking 'But you can't hack a Mac like that, grumble grumble.' This doesn't work out to well for homework when she thought the problem was to easy so she must have done something wrong, and then redoes it wrong, completely overshooting the easy answer.


Just some minor stuff, and I may be over analyzing! XD

Other than that, the idea for the weapon is great!
P.s: Leave Procrastination blank! Or maybe just some dots......

Blue Eyed Melloon

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elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:03 am


Thanks! I've to run but I'll fix some of the grammar stuff you two found biggrin

So leaving it blank, who needs a description when you can see it in action
8D

I don't know why she sounds so nice, that's why she is evil, because she dislikes people calling her nice. lol, I'll defiantly get that section up later.
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 8:14 am


So slow... I'm gonna be revising this a bit soon biggrin

elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit


elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit

PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:46 pm


I need to start this again!
PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 9:16 pm


Hmm, so I changed her outfit idea.

I think it would be hilarious for a negaverse person that wore something that was really girl and light colors maybe, and fought with knitting needles.
If I need to put a backstory as to why she is negaverse then I can do.

Any thoughts? Suggestions?
I'm terrible with outfits so if anyone wants to help.

I also changed her hair, I love httyd XD

elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit



Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer

PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 7:06 pm


Hello! I don't have many serious critiques, I would just like to see more about her. What about fantasy and sci-fi books does she like? Does it give her some kind of escape? Does it get her imagination going? Does it bother her that a lot of science fiction or fantasy stories have to be forced together sometimes, since a lot of magical things aren't exactly "logical"? Does she have a problem with "over-thinking/analyzing" the stories? It feels a bit contradictory for me to have her a logical/analyzing person who likes fantasy/sci-fi things that aren't exactly logical and if you analyze them too much, you'll end up finding holes in the magic system or history or whatever (believe me, I've done it before... DX )

What kinds of websites does she make? Is she planning on going into web design? ( I do web design, too, so I kinda got excited to see that she did, too! )

What about puzzles? Did she pick up puzzle making herself, or did someone in her life get her hobby started? Did she find them difficult at first?

What about video games does she like? Again, there are things in video games that aren't exactly "logical" but just things that have to be accepted to continue the game. What kinds of video games does she like? Why? How was she introduced to video games?

How did you come up with using knitting needles? Does she do any knitting?

I'm not sure if that was helpful, but I hope it was. Best of luck to you!!
PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:13 pm


Oh thanks for the crits/info want biggrin
I so need to update this.

Also, thought of a different starting weapon.
Diablo anyone?

elvyralani

Fashionable Rabbit

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