http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItWasADarkAndStormyNightI don't know what you're trying to get at, but the second will always trump the first. The first just made me wince. >_> It sounds too much like our cliche line. Don't ever touch it again.
Now that I've gotten to the point, I can relax. ^^ Don't worry too much about opening lines. It will come to you. Just remember, the first thing you need to say should deal with the character development of your main. Seriously, we want to know about who we'll be following, and it can get somewhat annoying if we hear too much that isn't about the MC.
So here's my advice: Relax! Just jump in and have fun with it! Don't worry about every single line; that's what the second draft is for. Don't get hung up on a single line, okay?
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