Welcome to Gaia! ::

In the Name of the Moon!

Back to Guilds

A Sailor Moon based B/C shop! Come join us! 

Tags: Sailor, Moon, Scouts, Breedables, Senshi 

Reply Application Quests
[Q] Sailor Helin, Analysis [upgrade! CRIT + MARKPLZ?] Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Game Rated - Lemon

PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:21 pm


The intended character for power-up

Name: Esen Quinn Saylor, Uncerted version


Information on power-up

Senshi: Sailor Helin, Senshi of Analysis
More information behind Helin's namesake

Concept:
Notes on appearance - (running on assumptions that, like with Hematite, scars will not disappear as a Senshi)
__She is a stick, figure-wise, and stands pretty small to begin with, about 5'1", though her hairstyle adds a bit of height itself.
____Esen was a Barren Pines student to begin with, and gained scars during the plot that won't show in a school uniform. I'm leaving the fuku up to the artist, but it might happen that her outfit will show more than just her arms or legs. Here's a description of the scars, with a link to the roleplay where she gained them. These would be in the last posts.
New Discoveries - Last Post
Esen was ripped in two. Under where her chest should have been is a ring around her torso, distinct, but not the most obvious. This has not been stitched, though like the arm, it's healed.
Hungry like the Wolf - Last 3 Posts
Her left arm was cut off (I'm assuming that it came back after the Zodiac Purification), and she has numerous scars on her torso - those have been stitched up, but the arm has a disctinct 'ring' around it, the darkest of the scars.


Fuku - up to artist, but would like one little ball on the end of each of her buns, if possibly allowed, for the first attack. Besides that, go wild.

Challenge: Your actions have came under scrutiny! I, Sailor Helin, am the examiner today!

Attack:
Last update - February 3, 2010, Around 3:00 PM EST

For the purposes, I define a 'turn' as one post after the attack call. Every even-number turn (2, 4, 6, etc.) in these attacks, except for the Eternal, is a post by myself. So a five-turn attack looks like this:
Attack Call > 1, Target > 2, Helin > 3, Target > 4, Helin > 5, Target, gone after this post

Attack #1 (Helin Power, Make-UP!)
Line of Fire!
Using one of her hair accents, Helin sends a neon-colored ball of light at her target (it's pretty small, like a ping-pong ball). Upon contact with the light, the target is enveloped in the light for 5 turns. Nothing more, nothing less - the target feels no pain, and no sensations from the light, not even blinding. When this attack is used, she has to take her hair accent to create the ball. It will not show up again on a missed attack. This can be used twice a battle on anyone she chooses, and can be tracked by if Helin still wears the hair accents.
((I believe this is different from similar attacks because everyone can see her tracking, and that's really all it does. It does not blind, it does not disorient. It just... tracks, and only for a small amount of turns.))

Attack #1a (Helin Comet Power, Make-UP!)
Truthful Aim!
Same as above, but with the added benefit of gaining information on a target under the light. The information she receives is in an auditory format, so if Helin is unable to hear effectively (whether through attacks or simply chaotic volume/voices/areas), she'll miss pieces of information. She will get a name (with rank or power level, if it's a Senshi or Negaverse Agent) and a sphere/weapon (only on Senshi/Negaverse Agents) or a number (a number when any other characters are targeted besides youma or Guardian Cats, meant to represent a power level; the highest number is four, bonded Cavaliers get a second number for the level of their bond, and Resurrected Souls' power levels are based on the soul's holder's power level).
Truthful Aim can be used twice a battle for 5 turns, like Line of Fire, and information on a target only comes on their contact with the light.
When Helin becomes Eternal, more details will be given on a sphere (Senshi attacks) or weapon (Construction, if applicable, magical powers) when the attack is used.

Attack #2 (Helin Eternal Power, Make-UP!)
Discovery Lens!
Summons a sphere around herself, six foot around. Using the Lens, she can track the environment around her, such as the stability of materials in the environment, activated magic (examples include enchanted items, actively-being-used starseeds, or the royalty crystals) and suchlike. Helin can also switch modes of sight for two self-posts a battle each (X-ray vision or thermal vision, instead of magic vision). Truthful Aim can be used through the globe, but besides that, Helin cannot leave the globe, since it moves with her. The globe stays until a power-down is initiated or the globe itself is broken. It takes 2 hits (posts) to break the sphere, which is intangible to all Senshi (corrupt or not, Parallel or not). Cavaliers, Guardian Cats and Negaversians are unable to enter the sphere*, but they are capable of breaking the sphere, as can any Senshi's energy attack.

*If these above populations were inside the sphere during formation, one cannot leave without breaking the sphere or utilizing teleportation powers, but on the flip side, can also see what Helin sees.

-------------------
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 3:49 pm


QUESTIONS TO YOU ALL



QUESTIONS/ADVICE FOR ME

romantic wishes
I like Esen and Analysis a lot. BUT I THINK that you need to straighten out the attacks??? Like. I would not read this crapload of information? If you need to put so many limits I think maybe it's way too powerful for a first-stage attack?? Also, maybe make it so like, first stage can tell you what their weapon/etc is, but no specific attacks or anything until stage two? Like, you could see "Sailor Virgo, Senshi of Innocence" stage #1, and Super Sailor Helin would be able to see "Sailor Virgo, Senshi of Innocence, Attack--Immaculate Reflection, absorbs opponent attacks" or somthing??


-----------------------------------



[What it does] Helin summons her Henshin Pen and a lightly iridescent/clear sphere forms around her (the size of it being her height all around).
NOTICE: (tenative) FUTURE ATTACKS ARE DEPENDENT ON THIS SPHERE (sphere being globe, not power focus), so information given here still applies on future attacks unless noted.



ATTACK SUMMARY:
1. Summons a sphere and her pen
The inside of the sphere has two portions set aside for specific functions:
The Environment Window is able to assess the area surrounding Helin at a thirty-foot radius - if she was in the park, it would say she was in the park, and would tell up to three other aspects of the place (if any trees there could hold up Helin, if there was a fountain or picnic table, other important information that could be remotely useful in battle. This will be determined by battle location and which person/group is planned to win). This is updated in real-time.
The Life-Form Window detects four of the closest powered life-forms (these include powered-up Negaverse Agents, powered-up Senshi, Guardian Cats, resurrected souls, powered-up Cavaliers and youma), and gives pictures after she has actually met them. More details are given for characters of some populations within 20 feet, though the information is limited to their attack/weapon information and power level/rank (
How it works). This has to be manually refreshed.
The rest of the sphere area is used for notes. If Helin had been able to jump three stories high, that would be something she could note. Notes stay in the sphere area for up to 5 battles or until her sphere breaks, whichever is the shorter time period.

2. Helin's Henshin Pen (and only this) can be used to write on the sphere; the sphere is intangible to Senshi other than herself
The inside of the sphere works much like a tablet computer, and the areas can be navigated, or written on, with Helin's Henshin Pen. Not even another Senshi's Henshin Pen will work on the screen; however, a Senshi, when powered-up, can move into the sphere's space... unfortunately, this includes the Corrupted Senshi, being that they are still Senshi. However, their information on the inner globe will be replaced with her own. To a Negaverse Agent, the sphere is impenetrable, but breakable. Any energy-based attacks that can be aimed at an object can hurt the globe.

3. Helin's sphere can rotate when needed.
Helin is able to stand in place and turn herself toward the portion of the globe that she needs to see. When her foot hits the bottom portion of the globe, the globe will move in whichever direction she is moving.

4. If her sphere is destroyed, so is all the information in it. The sphere can only be summoned once a battle.

Helin can create the information globe, but to remove the globe requires a power-down. This being said, the sphere is vulnerable to a Senshi's energy-based attack that can affect an object (So Tisiphone's Void's Rescind would work against the globe, but not so much Eris' Discordant Strike; any attacks using a Senshi's actual physical body, such as Walkure's Glorious Battle, are no-effect attacks as well, see #2) or any Negaverse Agent's attack. The globe has a different amount of resistance when fighting someone of various power levels (Resistance chart) and once the globe is destroyed, all information is lost. When the globe cracks, the information is not lost as long as it's not shattered, but that part of the globe will be useless for that battle.

Attack #1a (Helin Comet Power, Make-UP!)
NAME: Helin Global View, Lock-On!
[What it does] Using the Global View sphere (now with higher attack resistance and a 40 foot seeking range), Helin taps one of the beings that show on the sphere as she calls out the attack's name (or within three seconds after). Not very flashy-seeming... on Helin's part. It's useful, however, in that the tapped is caught in a rather (fuku-color, maybe neon or pastel?) visible aura. The tapped will know from the ring of light at their feet that follow them, and anyone else will see the aura around the tapped. That last part is the attack's usefulness: the Lock-On upgrade can be used to keep a character in high visibility for 6 posts worth of time for the tapped - a battle. Helin can place the Lock-On upgrade to a different person after its first use, but then it takes a post that would be otherwise kept on the tapped (if Helin switched her target twice, it could only be used for 4 posts total, since switching the lock-on takes a post).
If the sphere breaks during usage of Lock-On, the aura disappears, since nothing is left to power it.
When Helin goes Eternal, Lock-On gets another four posts of Lock-On usage per battle.

Usage example: Helin has 6 posts of Lock-On and traps Sillyite. Two posts from Sillyite later, she chooses to switch to Whomeverite. Whomeverite has only three posts of being Locked-On, since Helin used one post to switch her target.

Attack #2 (Helin Eternal Power, Make-UP!) ((OOC note: more of an Attack #1b))
NAME: Helin Global View, Lock-On (Beam/Beam Duo/Beam Quad)!
[What it does] Using the Global View sphere (higher attack resistance, and seeking range now maxed out at 50 foot) and the upgraded 'Lock-On' from being a Super Senshi, Helin is now able to fire beams with the sphere (best used at a range of 30 foot or less). It will only work on a character that is Locked-On at the time of call.
The reason for the different names involve the fact the four beams she can use can be combined to create beams of higher powers (Beam Quad has double the power of Beam Duo has double the power of Beam). In one battle, she can use one from the following: one Beam Quad, two Beam Duo, one Beam Duo and two Beam, or four Beam. Lock-On and Lock-On Beam (whatever) have to be used in different posts.
However, these beams are rather straight-shooters. If the tapped can move out of the way quickly enough, it's a wasted beam, and since each time a beam is used, her sphere's attack resistance goes down, Helin cannot afford to have wasted beams. For every two beams she uses, her sphere's resistance reverts to the stage below the current resistance power. Every Beam Duo, she will go down one stage, and a Beam Quad weakens the sphere directly back to her Starter's resistance.
It wouldn't be a bad trade-off, until you realize that Helin's source of attack power is that sphere. Sure, she retains other Senshi abilities, but Helin's largest strength above the Negaverse is the information the sphere provides that she can use for strategy.

Game Rated - Lemon


demon_pachabel

Beloved Werewolf

PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:42 pm


I can see you've come a ways with the attack that you came up with for your Senshi-idea with some help from Maru's crit previously. This is a good sign! However, looking over the rest of the Senshi, their attacks normally relate to their power-sphere and I'm failing to see how the Senshi of Analysis would have the ability of Deconstruction. These seem to be two very different power-ballparks which don't line up in this instance.

Given your character already exists and is kosher, I can really only point out the problem with the sphere/attack bit.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:19 pm


Gladiator shoes? Really?
Otherwise, PERFECT.

Can you crit Sailor Izar?

Daekie

Stellar Wildcat

23,575 Points
  • Magical Girl 50
  • Cat Fancier 100
  • Demonic Associate 100

Game Rated - Lemon

PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:11 pm


Demon_pachabel -
Dictionary.com definition of Analysis

1. the separating of any material or abstract entity into its constituent elements (opposed to synthesis ).

I see your point. This is an abstract sphere, so most spheres that are sometimes have a hard time with fitting attacks. I derived the attack from this definition. I had other ideas for attacks as well, and I'll put them up in the Questions post sometime soon.

Witchneko - For the concept contest, they don't want a definite look for our character's powered-up form. The gladiator shoes were not meant in that sense, more along this sort of look.
I'll warn you now that I SUCK at critique, but I'll take a look.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:32 pm


I really like your Senshi idea, but I too am a little puzzled at the attack choice and its relation to the sphere. While analysis is deconstructing elements, its in a mental or cognitive way more than a physical way. Its an interesting idea and I see where you are going with it, but as demon_pachabel said a few posts before, it seems more lie deconstruction ability than an analyzing ability.

If you're open to some suggestions, some things that might work with analysis may be examining the weapon so that your Senshi knows a proper defense against it or is able to analyze the environment in a battle so is able to use the environment to aide her. Or perhaps analyzing her foe or foe's weaponry to pinpoint a weakness, or something along those lines?

Silent Spy

Versatile Man-Lover

9,600 Points
  • Sausage Fest 200
  • Flatterer 200
  • Person of Interest 200

Blue Eyed Melloon

Skilled Connoisseur

19,125 Points
  • Magical Girl 50
  • Angelic Alliance 100
  • Trick or Treat 100
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:45 am


I actually am alright with the first attack. Imagine fighting someone, and your weapon turns to bits of metal and plastic right before your eyes! I also like how it can backfire (The Tree example you gave), because it gives other senshi a chance to shine.

The second attack puzzles me a little bit. It's almost like an upgraded version of Sailor Mercury's goggles and mini-computer, great for getting out of other dimensions and locating enemies, but not really an attack. Maybe she can use one of the screens to lock onto the enemy, and then with her pen, fire some energy..or something. (I'm terrible at suggestions! XD)
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:54 pm


Blue Eyed Melloon - Not everyone has an attack that can actually defeat the other party. Granted, most of them can actually do SOMETHING against the other party (Nemesis, for example, can't actually defeat anybody with her starter attack, but can temporarily paralyze them).

I understand that it would be pretty tough to go up against somebody with an attack such as this, but this will actually force Helin to have to work with other Senshi to be able to defeat anybody (at least, as a starting Senshi). When she reaches Super Senshi, Helin can then use the Field Scan offensively (original thought was using the screens as projectiles, but you did give me a good idea there). There were people questioning how much the first attack would relate to the sphere of choice, so I put up the second idea I had been given.

Game Rated - Lemon


Amasis

Everyday Blob

PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:26 pm


I like her concept a lot, and the sphere is a good one imo. I favor the more 'see what it is and how to circumvent it' aspect of the Analysis sphere. You're right- you don't have to be an offensive senshi. Support senshi are important too.
If you can, reword and streamline the long description for her attack. I kind of got it, but it seemed to go in circles a lot until I got to the TL;DR version you put at the bottom, where it clicked.
The main issue I have with the analysis as how you have it is that it possibly requires a set posting order for you to rp it effectively. RP posting orders in 3+ groups may not always remain in the same pattern. You might want to make her attack, regardless of which you choose, be a little more flexible :3
PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 2:49 am


Amasis - Only with the first attack would a posting order be a problem; the alternate attack idea won't have as much of an issue with a posting order.

I needed a long description since, if I did not have the description as detailed as it currently is, I could potentially be flagged as having overpowered attacks for the senshi level (Weapon Analyzation, in particular, could be easily flagged without the parameters).
I'll give the rewriting a shot, though, since I did have concern about 'I hope it's not too wordy.' Thanks. ^-^

Game Rated - Lemon


Melodine Cantus

Melodious Star

15,425 Points
  • Beta Forum Regular 0
  • Magical Girl 50
  • Caroling Champ 100
PostPosted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:25 am


The only problem I see with your second concept for an attack is that Sailor Mercury had a rather similar one, if I'm not mistaken? As quoted from wikimoon:

"Besides her communicator and transformation pens, Sailor Mercury had a hand-held computer which she could use as a scanner and data analyzer, as well as for accessing other computer systems. When she pressed her right ear stud, a blue visor materialized over her eyes, allowing her to scan objects or enemies for detailed information, such as weak points."
PostPosted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:36 am


Melodine - This is the only thing Helin can do as a starting Senshi, whereas Mercury had those along with actual abilities. I'll check with one of the checkers, however, to be sure.

Game Rated - Lemon


Kuuro Kitten

8,700 Points
  • Citizen 200
  • Tycoon 200
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
PostPosted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 1:24 pm


Have you though of maybe allowing Helin to use a virtual grid? More or less she can use her pen in this still and a virtual sphere forms around her allow her to see the world on a virtual grid.

She'd move a little faster (computer speed), and the sphere itself can be like a shield (which can be destroyed given attacks and damage to it). While in the sphere she can move around freely, gain the necessary information, environment, enemies, allies, terrain.. etc.

Maybe as a level up the sphere can reflect attacks or cause some damage to enemies fool hearty to try and attack her directly.

Just a few thoughts that came to mind. I do like your senshi and her attacks as they are but if you wanted to steer away from the screens and computers a bit so as not to step on toes, then hopefully this is a better option.

sorry if it sounds vague or I didn't explain as good. <3
PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:20 am


Kuuro - Good idea, thank you for the suggestion.

I'm going to get some official critique on it before I go further, though.

Game Rated - Lemon


Game Rated - Lemon

PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:11 pm


I've updated - yet again - with a revision of the Field Scan attack, now with a new name.

Seeking critique on the newly revised attack.
Reply
Application Quests

Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum