Soft beeping noises filled the empty silence of the study area. Jessalyn rarely ever called home. It was something of a hassle and frankly, she got along far better with her mother when their correspondence was limited to letters. But she wanted her mother to make an extra batch of her apple candy for Vera and send a bottle of homemade cider. And given how long the mail seemed to take at times, calling was her only option.

Ring…ring…ring…

“Hey Mom, it’s me. Yeah I know. You’re going to forget who I am because I don’t call enough, still not funny. Hrmm? Why yes, Mother, I still am a godless heathen. What? Okay, seriously, don’t give me that. If you found it that objectionable, you wouldn’t have sent me that cute spell book in the last package.”

Jess paced the floor, it was all she could do since technology had yet to find a way to allow her to really reach out and touch someone. Holding in the angry sigh, she ran her fingertips through her mop of hair distractedly as the harangue continued.

“I.. wait, WHAT? Okay, Mom, seriously, that’s just damned stupid. No, I don’t care what your friend said about co-ed schools, they are not hotbeds of lust and pre marital sex. Oh yeah? Well, you can tell her that I said she needs to stop watching the 700 Club and taking their least little fart as ******** gospel…”

Seethe, pace, rinse and repeat. If it wasn’t for her wanting to cheer Vera up, she’d hang up right now. But since the only source of apple-y goodness she knew was on the opposite end of the call, she had to try and direct the conversation to less jaw grindingly awful topics. Ah! A break in the lecture!

“Mom, mom! Listen, I don’t want to fight so let’s drop it, okay? I’m happy with who and what I am and you need to just accept it. Look, I wanted to thank you for the package. I loved everything in it. Which reminds me, I gave one of my floor mates some of your apple candy and she loved it. Is there any way you can send a batch in the next package for her? You will? Awesome! Thanks, ma! Could you send a bottle of cider for her too? Super! You’re the best, mom. Hrmm? Oh, I’m all right for the most part. Had the weirdest damn dream the other night, though. No, it wasn’t the one about the gumdrop monster. No, not that one either. Jeez, I haven’t dreamed about the marshmallow bunny rapists in a couple years now. No, I was just at school and I attacked and like… bit and ate one of the other kids. It was awful. Woke up feeling all crazy hungry too. Huh? No, I’m fine now. It just really freaked me out for a bit, that’s all.”

Jess absent mindedly waved her hand in a circle, willing her mother to finish her story. Ah! There it was! Time to weasel herself out of the conversation.

“Mom, please, I really am okay. Look, I gotta go. I need to build some scenery and props for a play we’re doing. Thanks. Yes, I love you too. I’ll talk to you again soon, okay? Bye, mom.”