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[Q] Sailor Ida, Senshi of Orchids (open for crits) [Markplz] Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:40 am


Name: Orah Gowan

Nickname: .... whatsherface?

Age: 16

Birthday: Feb. 16th

Sign: Aquarius

Gemstone: Amethyst (luvulite is her gem of choice)

Blood Type: AB

Fav. Food: Chocolate & Strawberries

Hated Food: Meat (she's vegetarian)

School: Meadoview High School

Hobbies:

~ Flower arrangement - Orah loves to practice the art of flower arrangement and is quite fluent in the language of flowers. Not surprising, considering her father is a florist. When she's finished her chores and homework, Orah fills her time with making arrangement orders for her father's shop, preferring to keep her hands and mind busy. Her younger brother says its because its impossible for her to sit still.

~ Choir - Orah loves to sing and is part of the Meadowview Choir. She usually goes around humming or singing softly, but even though she has a lovely singing voice, she would far rather be in the chorus line that be a soloist. She loves the attention of being on stage, but doesn't believe she's good enough for a solo part.

~ Making friends - Not really a hobby, but there is nothing Orah loves more than friends. She'll talk to anyone, anytime, and can usually find something in common with just about everyone to base a friendship on. Most of her relationships tend to stay casual though. She loves to volunteer for things like social events and charity work, but as taking care of her family is a full time job in itself, she doesn't get to do so as much as she would like.

Virtues:

Virtues:

~ Kind - Orah is naturally a kind person. Orah rarely has a harsh word to say to anyone and she always starts things off with a warm, open smile. She always leans towards unselfish acts and nothing makes her happier than being helpful to someone else. There is never a reason to be unkind to someone, even when they're being mean to you, because that is only a vicious cycle.

~ Hard-working - Orah tries very hard to live up to what she thinks others expect of her, even going above and beyond what is needed. Go the extra mile, give 110%. Growing up without a mother and having a family to take care of has taught her that if you don't do it, no one else will. A sort of 'lead by example' mindset.

~ Diplomatic - She often makes a great mediator because she listens well to both sides before she speaks. Its hard to fight with someone who won't rise to your bait. In squabbles between friends, or even those she doesn't know well, she can be trusted to be impartial and fair, giving her opinion on the matter in a calm voice.

Flaws:

~ Self-evasing/Low self esteem - Orah doesn't think much of herself. Despite evidence to the contrary, she never feels that what she does is good enough, and because of that, she can neglect her own feelings because she subconsciously feels she's not worth it. For those who see the good she does, it can be irritating to have someone around who can't seem to take a compliment or won't put themselves forward for the praise they deserve. This also creates an opening for those with less scruples or empathy to take advantage of her, such as taking credit for something she did or over look the fact that they should be rewarding her for her hard work. She craves praise and rewards, but has a hard time actually accepting them because there is always that little voice in the back of her mind saying 'you know you really don't deserve that'.

~ Overbearing - Orah has a tendency to go out of her way to take care of anyone she feels close to. It can be seen in her family where she does all the cooking and cleaning for her father and brother, and in her friends that she lavishes with attention. For those who like independence, her constant mothering is bothersome. Its hard for her to let people take care of themselves, because taking care of them gives her a sense of worth in herself. Again, this opens up the opportunity for some people to take advantage of her, letting her do all the hard work while they get the credit or benefit.

~ Clingy - Orah needs others around her to find any self-worth, so she tries to be near those who accept her as much as she can. This can come off as terribly clingy and can sabotage her relationships with people who like her, but want their own space. The more she feels she's loosing her grip, the harder she'll grab on. People like her father, who likes the doting attention, have an easier time, because their acceptance relaxes her.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: dark brown, turned up a little at the outer corners. Large and soft

Hair: very dark brown, but not black, in loose waves to mid-back. If possible, a purple orchid in her hair over her ear, a couple shades darker than her clothes.

Face: something soft and cute and rounded. Should be fairly dusky of skin, though a bit lighter than her hair. Think Middle-eastern.
( OC ref, for inspiration http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/dreamy_baby2/orahportsig.jpg , doesn't have to be exactly the same)
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:41 am


**Note: I have a preference for template 3 or 7... or any combination that makes her look shy and/or self-contained**

Senshi: Sailor Ida, Senshi of Orchids

(Ida the asteroid)

Challenge: In the name of Ida, You will be the one to wilt!

Fuku Colour:

Main Color: Lilac
Secondary Color: dark purple, or gold if it looks good

Fuku: ( I don't have a real specific idea of what I want, just ideas on things I'd like. If it doesn't fit, it can be left off or changed. Something in a whole theme is better than just separate parts )

Collar -- something to go with the outfit
Bow -- I like the bows for sure... maybe something see-through?
Bottoms -- maybe a frilly skirt, in a few layers of cloth? (inspiration?)
Tiara -- I like the traditional tiara with a purple stone to match a brooch, but open for ideas
Choker -- love a neck ribbon/choker
Shoes -- just something unique, with a heel... open to ideas
Gloves -- I like gloves, but open to ideas here
Accessories -- love accessories! anything that fits with her theme

(based on an OC, so refs for inspiration:
- http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/dreamy_baby2/acsig.jpg
- http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/dreamy_baby2/pets/orahlionpic.jpg
- http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/dreamy_baby2/pets/orahpic.jpg
its mostly her personality I'm using, but it would be neat if she somewhat resembled her)

Attacks: These are your senshi's abilities, which will be used in battle. These abilities correspond to your senshi's element. Think of it as a "summary" of what your senshi can do in one word.

Sailor Scout Attack: Beautiful Petal Darts!
[What it does] A thrown hand casts a cloud of orchid petals, which harden into needle-like darts that fly in the direction the petals were first cast. Downside to this attack is its lack of accuracy with a single opponent, and lack of strength against multiple enemies. Its merely a spray of needle-like petals with some velocity behind them. The petals don't do much in the way of damage and are equivalent to paper cuts... irritating but not actually damaging. As any cuts received are barely skin deep, clothing can protect against this. Range is short, about five or six feet. Can be used twice per battle.Twice will exhaust her and she will have to retire from the fight until she's rested.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Beautiful Petal Barrage!
[What it does] A powered up version of the Petal Darts, the petals can cause slightly deeper cuts that take more than just one day to heal. Clothing can still block this but there is a chance of the fibers being sliced by the petal, which could need to be repaired. Range is again, five or six feet and she can use it twice per battle. Twice will exhaust her and she will have to retire from the fight until she's rested.

Etneral Sailor Attack: Heavenly Orchid Arrows!
[What it does] An out-flung hand casts a trail of petals that form a bow-like shape. She takes it up and uses it to fire arrows of light with hardened petals as arrow heads. The arrows have an 'aura' of power to them and explode on contact. The explosion is more concussive, causing a pressure that can push a target backwards a foot or two, but doesn't do much in the way of actual damage. Unbalanced enemies could be knocked over, if they were caught unaware. Particularly heavy opponents may not be moved by the attack, but could be distracted or slowed by the pressure of it. Each arrow takes a lot of power to cast and her limit is three, which exhausts her and can force her to retire until she's rested.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:42 am


Civilian Information

Gemstone: Sugilite/Luvulite, a purple gemstone

Street clothes:
Orah tends to wear things that are soft, frilly, diaphanous and generally purple in color. Sweaters, skirts, tanktops, etc. She usually has some sort of heeled shoe on, be it a slim dress shoe or a pair of ankle boots. She loves earrings and bracelets in gold and purple, and has a hear-shaped pendant of subilite on a gold chain around her neck. It was a gift from her mother, so its rather precious to her.

Family:

Father - Art Gowan; Irish, owns a flower shop, single father. Met Farah after an buisness trip to Turkey, when he was younger and working for a large computer company as a programer. Grieved by her death when their son was barely two, he struggled to fill both parental roles. Cheerful, up-beat, supportive, but a little socially awkward. Never remarried or dated. Age 47.

He has medium brown hair and blue eyes, his form slightly pudgy from a sedentary life. He wears a pair of round, black spectacles and his hands are usually dirty during business hours. Most times, he wears a light blue button up shirt and brown slacks with dark brown loafers, a cream apron over it all with the logo of his shop on the front.

Mother (deceased) - Farah Gowan; Fell in love with Art when he was visiting her homeland, eventually moved to his country and married, giving birth to two children. She died of cancer at 29, when Orah was four.

She bares a heavy resemblance to Orah, but her features are sharper and more heavily arabic, her hair darker and curlier. They have the same eyes.

Little brother - Matthew Gowan; Orah's trouble-making little brother. She dotes on him and tries to mother him, but he rebuffs her quite rudely every time she tries. He often gets into fights at school, so he usually has a scuff or two on his face and his clothes are usually torn. Art's low income means the family doesn't often get new clothes, so Orah patches them up as best she can. While Orah struggles to be accepted, Matt is the opposite, and strikes out in anger, driving people away. He's well into puberty and the angsty teen stage is really making itself known in him. He feels ashamed of his family's low-middle class status and self-effacing father, so puts up an attitude to distract people from looking too far into him as a person. Age 14.

Orah has more family, but her father and brother are the only ones in her life right now. Her father was an only child and her grandparents died slightly before her mother did. Her mother's family still lives in the country she came from, but they disapproved of Art and refused to have contact with their estranged daughter. Orah has never met them.

History:

Art Gowan quit his accounting job and moved his family to Destiny City after the death of his wife, wanting to make a fresh start as a florist and remove his children from their painful memories. He lives quietly now, content to work his shop and function as a single parent devoted to his children.

Orah threw herself into a social life as a way to forget her lost mother and has never learned to be independent and self-assured. She's often torn between wanting to fill her mother's role and wanting to be a child with everything taken care of for her. Most of her time at home is spent cleaning and cooking, since she got old enough to do it, and working on school work. She rarely has friends over, so she tries to fill any free time up with little busy work.

Interesting Fact:

Orah can't swim, and because of that, she has a deep-seated fear of water deeper than five feet. At best, she could stand in water up to her ankles, but when it starts getting to her knees, she starts getting nervous. She'll flat out refuse to go in up to her chest and she'd have to be physically forced to do it. She's been excused from swimming lessons in gym, she never goes to the pool in the summer, and when its time to cross a bridge over a river of any size... she either takes a detour or she crosses as fast as she can, distrusting the bridge to hold her up.

Defining Sphere:
Orchid -
a. A member of the orchid family.
b. The flower of any of these plants, especially one cultivated for ornament.
2. A pale to light purple, from grayish to purplish pink to strong reddish purple.

Wiki article

In flower language: source here
The orchid's name derives from the Greek word "orchis," meaning "testicle." Its history is associated with lust, greed, and wealth. Some orchids are called "ladies' fingers," "ladies' tresses," or "long purples." Orchids were collected extensively during the 1800s. History relays that at one point, four thousand trees were cut down to collect the orchids growing on their branches. One collector alone was believed to have sent hundreds of thousands of orchids to England, where, unfortunately, most of them died.

There are almost 25,000 different types of orchid. Greek women thought they could control the sex of their unborn children with orchid roots. They believed that if the father consumed large, new tubers, the child would be male and, if the mother ate small tubers, the child would be female. The orchid's reproductive behavior has been a basis for study for years amongst botanists for years. The orchid's peculiarity is that for its seed to germinate it needs to be penetrated by fungus threads. The paphiopedilum orchid was named for Phaphos, a temple on Cyprus where the love goddess Aphrodite was worshiped (and where prostitutes were said to be readily available.) The most famous orchid, the vanilla orchid, was said to give strength to the Aztecs, who drank vanilla mixed with chocolate.

The color of the orchid delivers strong messages. It brings a universal message of love, beauty, wisdom, and thoughtfulness. In China it signifies refinement, and the innocence of children. A pink orchid signifies pure affection. The popular cattalya orchid symbolizes mature charm, which is why it's a "natural" for Mother's Day corsages.

Wikki on 'Ida' orchids
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:16 am


Crit for you!

  • Hobbies is not TMI! Although the category is excluded from most of the schoolkid and custom comp forms, they are still an important part of your character and your quest would be much easier to read and understand if you moved them up to the top form where they rightfully belong.

  • Despite being short, I feel like your virtues and flaws are pretty well personalized to the character. However, "Sweet" and "Honest" are a bit contradictory - she never has a bad word, and yet she's so blunt it's mean? I'd rather see her sweetness be a little bit saccharine than see you cut her honesty - maybe the sweetness is a front? It doesn't really seem to be in her character to be manipulative, per say, but with a hobby like "making friends," maybe she's realized that people respond better to certain attitudes and has adjusted herself accordingly? Just a thought.

  • Backstory! Backstory! Backstory! Despite there being no place on the form for it, you should know your character's history and consider how that made them the person they are today and how that effects what their personality is and how they respond to things. Read some other quests, see how people have incorporated bits and pieces of their history into their character descriptions, and then revise accordingly. Like I said before, your flaws and virtues are short - you could expand those out a bit and not risk TL;DR territory. Try to make this a character portrait, not a character sketch

  • You say she's Senshi of Misfits, but her attack seems more like a Senshi of Confusion. The attack itself seems pretty good, though, so long as you make your power sphere match a bit better you should be in the clear.

  • I'm not here to critique on appearance, especially since you're adapting an OC. I like your ideas for her fuku - purple and gold on dark skin should be pretty!


Good luck!

Silverah

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:26 am


=3 thanks for the crit, Sil!

I guess, the sweet/honest thing... its not that she's being honest to be mean. She doesn't mean it to be hurtful, and prolly doesn't even realize its coming off that way, she just blurts out what comes to mind. She won't pick at someone, though, and talk about how awful they are in an attempt to hurt them... Though, I can see how the two are a bit in conflict.

Her virtues are a bit short, but I had less to clarify on them than on her flaws. I can expand them though, or try to.

Also, I havn't gotten to writing down her backstory, thus the tba on her family, but I have an idea of what she'll have.

As for her attack... what sort of attack would a misfit use? Maybe something defensive, but what would you do to someone when your sphere is more aimed at yourself and how you act?

Her attacked is a defensive attack aimed at making the other person more clumsy and less accurate, to make them sort of awkward about their attacks. Sort of level the playing field, I suppose. I am open to suggestions on different methods though. Misfit was the best I could come up with for her, because its sort of her 'signature' word, but I'd probably be open to different spheres that still fit her awkward, wants-to-be-wanted personality.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:35 pm


I think that "misfits" in general is going to be a difficult sphere to work, because it's so general. I had the same sort of problem in my quest for a senshi of "The Deep," because initially no one was really clear on what that meant and how it was different from just a senshi of oceans. What ultimately helped there, which might be good for you, too, was typing up a short paragraph outlining what the specifics of the power sphere were - in other words, defining it.

Just an example
  • "The Deep" indicates that Sailor Europa's domain is over the deepest, most mysterious parts of the ocean, both the physical - tremendous atmospheric pressure, freezing cold, no light - and the psychological - anxiety over the unknown, etc - aspects contained therein. As opposed to the sea, the deep's power comes not from its physical size or its motion, but from how inhospitable it is to life as we are familiar with it.


Maybe you could try to do something similar with the power sphere of misfits, finding the "essence" of the sphere, as it were? (I use way too many cliche metaphors when giving crit, and I'm sorry. sweatdrop ) You might want to narrow down if misfits as applied to her sphere is a positive or negative connotation. Is it closer to alienation or uniqueness?

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:53 pm


brushed things up a little bit, refined some, filled some out, and generally fleshed in Orah as a person. Still working to be sure nothing conflicts too seriously.

Open for crits!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:07 pm


Misfits would not be allowed as a sphere because it's a label for a group of people. It's basically the same thing as 'senshi of goths', 'senshi of geniuses', etc. As Silvy said, find the essence and use it - alienation, confusion, disorientation. Those are just three ideas I get looking at the attack you have so far and the definition of misfit.

kalindara


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:48 pm


Since that sphere didn't fit too well in the shop anyway, I decided to change it to better fit the character and her history.

Surprisingly, Orchids is a natural fit. They come in a range of colors and are commonly purple. There is even a genus of orchids called Ida.

This makes flower arrangement a natural choice for a hobby, and fits with the story of her father being a florist and the purple color of her fuku.

Also! Fixed up her faults a little. Expanded 'needy' and took out 'gulible' and 'doormat'. They both seem to fit under the umbrella of needy. I added in 'white liar' because it fits into her reasoning and methods... she tells lies so people will like her, but they're always harmless little lies (in her opinion). It also partly explains her no friends thing, since any one close realizes she's lying to them, and the lies actually cover up her true self rather than inviting people to be closer to her.
PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 9:12 am


I really like your character and I really think all of her virtues and flaws really go well together. She looks a bit unevenly balanced toward the virtues, though. Even though you already removed it because you felt it fell under the umbrella of needy, I do think that gullible can stand on it's own as a flaw well enough if she is easily taken in by other people's lies and suggestions. Since what you have for needy seems to associate more with people Orah already feels she is friends with, perhaps gullible makes her more susceptible to the lies of strangers. This would seem to make a good reverse of her accepting virtue as well.

A senshi of orchids sounds wonderful! Even though orchids come in almost every color in the rainbow, purple is the most iconic orchid color and fits with your character concept well. But you only have two attack ideas and I can't tell if one is tentative or not. Does this mean you're still looking for one? If so, maybe a specific orchid plant could help. You already mentioned the vanilla orchid. Maybe there's something you can do with that. Also, the Bucket Orchid is an interesting specimen. Perhaps hurling globules of a pollen-glue mixture at your enemy would be an option.

I hope this helps! I'm always afraid to critique, because I don't want to come off as too pushy...so I don't get much practice at it.

Verithe

Hygienic Explorer


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 11:09 am


^_^ there's not bad suggestions at all!

I don't know how many attacks she's allowed to have, but that is a good idea for one. It goes a little beyond the petal theme most flower-based things tend towards.

I had mostly taken out gullible when I added white lies. It just seemed contradictory to me, that she would believe other's lies when she lied so often herself.

I did add in a rose-tinted glasses sydrome for her... where she lies to herself as much as she lies to everyone else, by refusing to see the bad in them or what they do, reasoning it away or just pretending it didn't happen.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:50 am


I've done some good work on making Orah a good character, so I'd like to see if she'd pass muster and get approved. ^_^

She's still open for crits though! Always good to have advice.

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PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 11:23 pm


wasn't really satisfied with her flaws so I reworked them. I also decided that as an added thing, she can't swim and has a problem with deep water. Its not something that affects her enough to be a flaw, but it could make rp interesting.

Decided that her mother was from Turkey and that her father was a computer programmer. A rather whiz-kid at it since he first got his hands on a computer, he lost the heart and passion for it when his wife died.
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 10:40 pm


Alright, cleaned everything up with the new quest form thingy. xD; hopefully, its more readable now.

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Whimsical Blue
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Mythical Shapeshifter

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:08 pm


Tweaked my virtues and flaws a bit to hopefully make her a little more balanced and not a COMPLETE doormat... refined her attacks a little to account for opponents power levels.

Got a slot from Yuna, so excited!
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