Welcome to Gaia! ::

This afternoon had been such a dreary one. The sun was not out for a majority of the afternoon, Fencing practice had been canceled since they needed the gym for some "real sports" as Howl had been told. And, his teachers almost seemed to have ganged together and plotted against the students today, piling on the homework in a nearly impossible load for one evening. Even if the sun wasn't out, it would have been more enjoyable to be outside than stuck inside the dreary walls of their dorm.

Howl was hardly an improper soul, but at the moment he did not feel like sitting properly in his chair. Glancing up to the ceiling, he sighed as his chair tipped back slightly. This was not a public place, so no teacher or otherwise could tell him he was doing something wrong. Easily enough, Howl had finished up his English homework without a problem. Yet, two other subjects sat on his desk, taunting him in a fashion that seemed intimidating to the usually collected young man.

Math, or Science...? he wondered silently as he stared at the ceiling. He was having trouble figuring out which subject to work on next. They both needed to be done, so it shouldn't have mattered too much. Yet, something in the back of his mind seemed to get irritated at that mindset and forced Howl into the mental debate of which topic to work on next.

Mid mental debate, he couldn't help but wonder if his roommate was having as lovely an afternoon as himself.

Speak of the devil Howl thought in a chipper fashion, glancing back to his friend as he returned "home." Usually, when Franz came home, he reduced any sense of the word "boredom" into rubble with his usually energetic antics.

The long haired lad swiveled his chair to face his friend, and was quite frankly puzzled at what he saw. Was this a bad impersonator of his friend? Or had his friend been turned into a zombie of some sort? From his own experience, he could never really recall a time when Franz was like this, so for a moment, he was having his doubts about this person before him. Not wanting to speak yet, he merely observed. He placed a single dainty finger to his lip and watched as the blonde lay down and seemingly attempted to suffocate himself.

It was only upon the prompt that he was certain that this miserable creature before him was the usually chipper Franz. I suppose that everyone has a bad day. Even Franz.

Howl stood up, wandered over to his friend's bedside and gently placed a hand upon his friend's hand while kneeling down.

In a firm tone, he stated "I refuse." He had his reasons. 1) This was his friend. And 2) Howl would never kill someone in such a direct fashion. He momentarily recalled past events, but mentally shoved it back in his mind and struck the second reason from his mind. It was the predator in him talking again, and he needed to repress it. The only reason he needed was that Franz was his friend.

His hand gently squeezed Franz's hand, and Howl's voice gently dared to ask "Is there anything you would like to talk about, my dear friend?"

Howl let out a gentle chuckle and commented "Alas, I apologize for not being a selective mute Native American." A spot of humor was one thing this situation needed. Something to get his friend's spirits back up. Unfortunately, the effeminate lad had never really had much talent with jokes, so perhaps the joke itself went unnoticed or unappreciated.

He had paused, which almost seemed like a decade of silence before he continued. "I apologize for your loss, my friend. You two seemed to have a very similar wavelength when it came to your thinking. It is always sad to see a friendship... No, a relationship wither."

Once more, he paused and looked towards Franz, who at the moment was nothing more than a pillow face. Had Howl been a stronger person, he might have removed the pillow just to talk to his friend face to face. Yet, he figured it would be best to let Franz own up to staying alive, rather than just forcing him to listen like a child that was being reprimanded for some foolish prank. Was it the right thing? Even Howl wasn't certain if his decision was correct, but he decided to make a request.

"As much as I enjoy talking to a pillow, I would much rather talk to my dear friend, Franz." He paused here, and took a rather deep breath before offering something he figured he'd regret speaking over.

"It makes it quite difficult for me to tell you a story which might have some relevance to this issue." Legally, he wasn't at leisure to speak about it. Yet, maybe it would distract Franz from his current heartache.

Still not satisfied with Franz's attempts, he pointed out "I perhaps have 95% of Franz here, but that is not sufficient enough for me to begin my story. I would have thought you were more interested as to the reason why I came to this school..." He let go of his friend's hand and went to go fetch his chair, picking it up and setting it down by Franz's bedside. He wasn't about to tell a story on his knees. In a chair was much more suitable for him.

Howl half smiled at his friend's honesty. In an attempt to correct his friend, he stated in a matter-of-fact tone "I would like you to know that my mother and father are both quite fond of my appearance, Franz." It was quite true. His parents have been quite accepting of the fact that Howl was a beautiful man. The only thing they had never really accepted was what he had done to Amelia.

Howl's voice dropped down low so his voice would not carry into any other rooms in the dormitory. It also held a hard seriousness that he usually did not maintain in conversation. "I would like to preempt this by mentioning that I would like this to remain a secret, my friend. My lawyers had advised me to keep this on the down-low, and I would like to keep it that way. I also will not accept the answer of 'a dead man tells no tales.'"

He inhaled deeply, then he glanced back to his desk, where that novelty frame was face-down. He reached over to grab it, but was just short of picking it up. Sighing slightly, he stood up, picked it up, then handed it off to Franz.

Resuming his place in his chair, he began. "I would say it was all Amelia's fault, but alas, I know better than to blame this on someone so blatantly innocent." He paused for a moment, as if debating whether to continue on or not. Howl knew that he had already promised to tell his friend this story just moments ago, and it was be absolutely deplorable of him to not follow through. Once more, he took a deep breath and continued.

"As you could probably tell, I was raised in a household that was well off. Far better off than a majority of the boys in this school. I knew not of suffering, for I suppose you could have called me the spoiled child who got whatever their heart desired. I did appreciate all I got, which I suppose makes me vaguely different than a true spoiled child. Yet, my parents still saw to me getting whatever I wanted, as well as 'the best for their child.' I had no siblings, so both Mother and Father would see to me getting the best opportunities out there. I went to the best schools, took lessons for various sports and activities. Yet, even with so much within my reach, I suppose you can say I started to yearn for something different. When I was fourteen, I began going to a local cafe, to spend time away from the expectations and ambitions, and merely observing other people. At the time, I just wanted to see what other people did in a casual setting. Where most times, they came to relax. It was just a casual game at the beginning, but it soon became a rather interesting hobby. I am certain you realize that people are very interesting creatures."

He paused here, and rather purposefully glanced to the picture frame he had handed off to Franz. "It was about a half a year after I started this hobby that I met Amelia in that cafe."

Franz had a way of putting perspective into things in a fashion which Howl was unable to. He chuckled and nodded his head, lightly acknowledging "Yes, I apologize, but I really did not get much social interaction outside of school at that point. I suppose you could say that it was a coping mechanism." He would have a pleasant smile upon his cheek as he confessed to such a problem. Yet the moment he returned to telling the story, his smile vanished, his voice turned low and serious, and in all honesty, it almost seemed as if Howl was another person.

"Initially, when I first encountered Amelia, I fell in love. You know, the common saying of 'love at first sight.' I suppose a more accurate phrasing is that I became enchanted with her, for she sincerely was such a beautiful lady. The first time I encountered her, I did not say a word to her. I just merely watched her, as casually as possible. I did not want to be made a fool, so I attempted to look for any hint of her interests, any sort of opening which I could use at a later time for an appropriate introduction. Unfortunately, I could not find such a hint upon the first time I saw her. I hoped to God (if one believes in such things) it was not one of those 'once in a lifetime' meetings. I came back everyday for a week to that cafe, searching in vain for the angel I had been so fortunate to encounter. On the seventh day, she had returned to the cafe promptly at 3pm."

He paused for a moment, out of sheer necessity more than anything. Howl closed his mouth, then opened it. He repeated the motion a few more times. He glanced to the photograph he gave to Franz for a brief moment, then continued again.

"Upon this day, she had returned to the cafe wearing the equestrian team uniform of a local school. Indeed, that seemed like opportunity enough for me, since it would be an easy conversation starter. When she had sat down, I approached her, asking her about her uniform and how I had never seen her before on that team before. Her immediate reaction was the common place one of mistaking my gender and then apologizing profusely for such an assumption on her part. To me, it seemed like a good sign, for it meant she was down to earth. After moving past the initial reactions, we were able to talk, and I was able to learn more about her. Obviously, I learned of her name, but I also learned that she had only just recently moved to our city. She had joined the equestrian club and had been kept quite busy with practices to make certain she was up to standard for competition. She was one year my senior, and preferred a 'good strong coffee with a bit of sugar' as she always liked to phrase it."

The effeminate lad paused once again, this time with a bit more purpose than just resting his mouth. He glanced up to the ceiling, thinking for a bit as to how he could shorten the story a bit. When speaking of his personal "goddess," the lad could go hours on end speaking (though he would need to occasionally rest so his mouth didn't go dry). When satisfied with how he would approach the next arc of the story, he resumed speaking.

"I do not want to bore you with the details, but in short, I had fallen in love with her. I cherished every moment I spent with Amelia. We had become companions who spoke to each other about every little thing. Friends who could rely on the other one for any little thing. Any moment I spent with her, I would take it all in. I knew every little thing about her, including her various gestures and expressions. The vaguest of mannerisms would speak volumes to me. Amelia, despite such a beautiful face, was a very strong woman. She lived life to the fullest when given the opportunity. One thing you frequently find with beauty is that the one gifted with the beauty will grow lazy, milking every little thing that he or she might gain from good looks. I admired Amelia. I loved her. I let her know on several occasions my feelings, but I suspect even with my blatant hints, she did not fully understand how I felt for her. I blame my appearance for her inability to take my feelings seriously. It is rare to find a woman who could truly love a man such as myself."

He paused here and with his delicate fingers, he gently placed them under Franz's chin and lifted him up so he was certain the blonde was listening carefully. Howl's usually gentle eyes seemed to grow slightly cold and icy as they gazed into his friend's honey-colored eyes. As he spoke, the words were formed carefully, his mouth crisply pronouncing the words clearly, yet only loud enough for Franz to hear.

"The truth is she did not love me. I never mentioned it to you, but Amelia had found herself another boy to date."

Where as Howl would normally be quite understanding to his friend's clinging onto him for a "manly" hug, such did not seem to fly this evening. In a rather distanced tone, he uttered "Where as I appreciate the sentiment, my friend, I hope for your sake you never speak a sour word about Amelia again."

He did not even return the hug as he waited for Franz's emotional moment to cease and desist. As if giving a warning of some sort, he pointed out "I would prefer continuing the story."