I think this is where it goes sweatdrop

well.. I hate to do this since I'm new to the guild but..

I have shitty confidence, and I have for all my life. I was never thin, I was always the fat girl that was weird and never spoke in class. I wasn't bullied until I went to 3rd grade and beyond (when I moved to Texas). Fat and ugly were everyone's favorite things to say about me, and it always brought me down. I didn't get why I was such a target, but looking back I was pretty much a doormat.

Even in public places I've been insulted for my weight. I mean, I'm not huge, but I know I'm not thin. I know I wear guy clothes but that's because guy clothes are all I know. I grew up with brothers and wanted to be just like them. (plus, the clothes are comfy dammit talk2hand ) I've always thought I look horrible in girl clothes, or anything nice.

My belly sticks out like a man's gut, and my a** and hips prevent me from fitting into pants right. I've been seeing the same thing for all my life in the mirror with different glasses and hairstyles (and braces for two years *shudders*)

Doesn't help that I'm one of those people that don't desire a relationship, we practically need one. I function and live life the best when I have someone, but I can't even get male attention when I go into public. (Ugh, esp when I go to the mall or in public with my skinny chick friends. They get all the attention).

I've even been insulted by my own mother when she was going through her tough spot in life and she's bigger than I am. Telling me that she didn't have to keep buying new pants if I would just stop eating so much and getting fatter.

sweatdrop Hell the only thing I miss is my friends who loved that I'm big, and used me as their teddy bear. They told me I was pretty and beautiful and would whack me on the head when I said I was fat. I tried feeling better about myself and doing confidence boosting tips but.. I dunno what's wrong with me that I can't fix myself.

D: I'm done, sorry for the wall of text.