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[Q] Sailor Megaira, Senshi of Fury [SO OLD.]

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Daekie

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:04 am



Loathing, unadulterated loathing
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:30 am


Senshi: Sailor Megaira, Senshi of Fury
Name: Alexa Jansen
Nicknames: Alex, which she demands
Posting Color: crimson
Age: 15
Birthday- January 2nd.
Sign-Capricorn
Gemstone-Red Garnet
Blood type-A
Fav. Food-CHICKEN POT PIES FOREVER...or red velvet cake.
Hated Food: Seafood. Ick.
School-Meadowview

HOBBIES
Cameragirl-Alex takes pictures. Everywhere. All the time. It's with her phone, but she takes at least a picture a day! Because she wants to chronicle her life and not miss a moment, she wears jackets with pockets to carry the phone. And don't ask her to show you the pictures she took, because she has far too many pictures. Alex's had this hobby for years (ever since she picked up her father's camera at age 5)!

Rythmic-Alex's an avid dancer, and takes different types of dance-hip-hop, musical theater, a bit of ballet, a bit of tap...she pushes herself really hard to do her best. She also takes gymnastics-though she doesn't compete...she likes doing flips and stuff, and can easily position a routine to music. She's very rhythmic as a result. But she's not all that good at dancing, so she takes more types to fix it. (She doesn't have the fluidity needed to be a good dancer!)

Theater-Alex acts on stage, every now and then. She has played boys, although that was five years ago and you will never see pictures. But it's fun; and since her dad's a playwright, it works. Mostly. Sometimes she misses school a lot for a show.

VIRTUES
Flexible-Alex adapts to a situation very quickly, and thinks of what she could do to finish the situation. It's good for anything that she needs to stretch for...mentally and physically! She can think of anything that could work and try it out (but by herself, because she thinks you're an idiot).
She thinks of what she wants to and bends backwards for it. She thinks of every possibility that she can. So she's also mentally flexible, like here:"If there's a cat up on a roof, and you have to get it down, you could use grappling hooks to get up there. And or sticky pads, or if there's a tree, just use the tree to relay the cat!"

Helpful- If you're doing something wrong, Alex will notice it first, and she will help you with it. Because doing stuff wrong is just...ugh. And she tends to be good at stuff-always pays attention-so trust her, because she knows what she's doing and you don't so let her do it right!

Attentive-Alex always pays attention in class. Always always always. Because every fact is important at some point, and she's gonna have to help you with your stuff later, so she needs to know it! Sometimes Alex even requests extra work so she can understand it better.

FLAWS
Tunnel Vision-Alex can focus on something very fully, to the point she barely hears or sees you. Needless to say, when she does this, you are not there in her mind unless she wants you to be there-which means, if she blocks anyone, unless she's being flexible...pain, pain, and more pain for her because she likely missed something being said. Or she could just ignore you, that works too!
Her mental flexibility just adds to the effect of finding creative ways and reasons to keep ignoring you and focusing on the thing or thought. And this just means that she ignores you and will do it until you do something that's worth her while, and that generally means that...she doesn't like any other human because you're not worth her while.

You're Terrible-Alex is convinced that that will not work, no matter what you do, because you are a foolish idiot. And since she's smart, she'll go and save your life.
Basically, Alex thinks she knows best, unless your better decision is really obvious. She will keep you from doing something, scream at you when you get in her way, but want to get the majority (if not all) of the work done herself. She is very arrogant, to the point of 'I can do EVERYTHING', so Alex has never been a team player.She will also vibrantly protest that she can do it better by herself if forced to work on a team.
She doesn't really notice that people hate her for this, but when she does, she mistakes their hatred for jealousy and feels good that they can never be as good as her (that's what she thinks).

That's Just Not True-Alex will vibrantly deny anything she doesn't like. Because, even though she won't admit it, it scares her and she wants to be helped, to be part of the action, and not a burden. It collaborates with her real self...who doesn't want anyone to get hurt. If she denies anything, even if it's true, she will firmly believe that her version of events is true and anything otherwise never happened. Her lies become her truths. And as this says, if she believes her own lie for long enough, it becomes the truth to her.

Look Behind The Facade-Alex is an actress.
She knows how to put up a fake personality to make herself seem like a happy, cheerful, psycho...but it's not who she actually is! When you deal with people, Alex's learned, you hide what they won't understand, and unleash it when you want to be real. So she can be any type of person...and fool people into letting their guard down so she can figure out what they want. She can also change her thinking style to make herself tick differently. If she doesn't comfort you with something, or can't figure something out, she just decides to try and be somebody else for a little while to finish what needs to be done. This does require a few minutes to fully change her style of thinking, but she can fool even herself with the facades that are put up. (But sometimes Alex lets down her wall, and you you get a look at the real her. That's a scared girl who doesn't want any harm to come to her or her friends, but has a hard time learning to trust again after the harm that came from trusting people.)


Challenge:
You know what? Shut up and die!

ATTACKS
1. Fury Swipes! A Normal Attack
Alex becomes slightly faster, and her nails become long and sharp, good for inflicting pain. Her teeth also become minorly sharper, which causes much lip-bleeding on Alex's part.
1b. Furious Thoughts! A Super Attack
The same as the previous attack; but now, if you're injured by Alex, your thoughts become directed mostly at hate and anger. This, sadly for Alex, doesn't work on thoughtless enemies-and if used on someone who hates her already, evasive tactics will be needed.

2. Berserker Vision! An Eternal Attack
This attack casts a powerful illusion on the opponent, who sees the people they've killed attacking them clad in red armor as undead berserkers. While this illusion is going on, the enemy will likely be attempting to attack the illusion enemies, leaving them open to attack from Alex. This attack lasts for 45 seconds-however, if this attack is used on someone with a strong will, resistance to fear, or a higher power level, it will only last for fifteen seconds.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: A dark stormy grey. They look very cute on her face.
Hair: Long and actually crimson. It is wavy and reaches her waist. This is basically what her hair's color looks like. And her hair has one large bang over her right eye-like Rosalina's bang from Super Mario Galaxy. The hair itself is down.
Face: Heart-shaped and small. Her eyes seem large because of this.
Body Type: She's tall and thin from all her dancing and gymnastics. Very pale skin, like she doesn't get out much.

Fuku Colour: Her main color is a ghostly white, and her secondary color is bright crimson. I'd like it if she had black here and there to go with her choker, though. Maybe shades of dark grey as a secondary-secondary color?
FUKU
User Image
[Gothic-lolita for everything! Not lacy, but more 'deadly cute'.]
Collar -- I don't want one-but if she has to have a collar, it's Up To Artist.
Bow -- Up to Artist-I really don't care.
Bodice -- Almost like a stretchy corset. It is disconnected from any other clothes except the skirt. Like a mix between this and this with a bit of this thrown in.
Sleeves -- She has this shirt in different colors, without the blue on the neck. It has belts attached to it that connect her sleeves to it, which are sleeves like the ones on the avatar, but shorter-they only reach to her shoulders.
Brooch -- Up To Artist. Possibly a crimson X or fang? Laid over a black background?
Bottoms -- This skirt. It's white with a touch of crimson lace.
Tiara -- Dunno, something lolita-ish.
Choker -- Three crimson Xes on a black choker. The choker is styled like this. See the leaves on it-those are the Xes.
Shoes -- These legwarmers over boots like these. Except red clasps instead of laces on the boots.
Gloves -- These. Or crimson fishnet, I don't care.
Accessories -- Go crazy.
[For each of these, I leave the position of colors up to the artist. Except for the ones I stated the colors for.]

Daekie

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Fallen Mermaid

PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:55 pm


This is more toward the Gloves.
The gloves and sleeves will clash in the sense that the gloves are soooooooo long and the sleeves droop.

Crit. sailor panopaea please?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:44 pm



I give your girl credit…I cannot stomach either chicken pot pies or red velvet cake. ^^;

You should explain why people don’t like her. Also, maybe how she and Spectra met.

‘because it goes on for a while’ for is worded a bit strangely. Maybe just say she has one too many?

Athletics comes off more as she is just bendy. Maybe you could do rhythmic gymnastics to combine everything?

Drawing stuff? What sort of stuff? Where does she like to draw? What is her favorite subject?

Other than that, I just have to say do some spell checking. A few grammar mistakes as well.

Best of luck!

Sirene Naiads

Romantic Senshi


NillyMakes

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:08 pm


So she's a gymnist, and actress, an artist, a photographer, a dancer, and a human timer? It just seems like a little much to me. Or maybe its not that is too much, but none of it ties together. Unless she's some sort of over achiever, I've known people who do umpteen bajillion things so its not impossible.

However, I do like how your flaws all tie together. It really goes to show how arrogant she is or can be.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:44 am


Crit. responses! Crits are good!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fallen Mermaid
This is more toward the Gloves.
The gloves and sleeves will clash in the sense that the gloves are soooooooo long and the sleeves droop.

Yeah, the gloves start at her elbow. The sleeves, however, are only halfway to the elbow.
ThePhantomNightmare
So she's a gymnist, and actress, an artist, a photographer, a dancer, and a human timer? It just seems like a little much to me. Or maybe its not that is too much, but none of it ties together. Unless she's some sort of over achiever, I've known people who do umpteen bajillion things so its not impossible.

She's bad at dance, isn't a human timer anymore, and photography is an obsession.
Sirene Naiads
You should explain why people don’t like her. Also, maybe how she and Spectra met.

Did.
Sirene Naiads
‘because it goes on for a while’ for is worded a bit strangely. Maybe just say she has one too many?

I did. Thanks!
Sirene Naiads
Athletics comes off more as she is just bendy. Maybe you could do rhythmic gymnastics to combine everything?

...Fixed, I think?
Sirene Naiads
Drawing stuff? What sort of stuff? Where does she like to draw? What is her favorite subject?

Got this.

Daekie

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Faewynd

Devoted Cub

PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:19 pm


I like your concept! Just a few notes:

-you might want to go over and do a spell/grammar check. I noticed a few typos. ^_^

-CHICKEN POT PIE FTW!

-I liked how you described her friendship with Spectria and why they work well together. It gives good insight into her personality as well.

-For the athletics hobby, you might want to re-word it a little, I found it kind of confusing. What makes her bad at dancing? Is she clumsy? Does she have two left feet? Why is she good with gymnastics but not with dancing?

-You mention that she likes to draw fanart of whatever she's currently writing. Maybe you could add writing as a hobby as well: what does she write? Short stories? Fanfiction? Poetry?

-Her "flexible" virtue doesn't make sense to me. Not going with the flow when she doesn't want to doesn't seem like a description of flexibility. I'm not sure how her physical flexibility translates into a personality strength? Maybe you could clarify a little more on this one. ^_^

-I like the start of the second virtue's description, it seems like she thinks outside of the box. But the sentence doesnt finish! I'd love to know what you were going to write there.

-Is she a stage actress, or just very good at dissembling? And what is it about her personality she's hiding? This might be a really good opportunity for you to give us a closer look at the "real" Alecta.

-Isn't blocking you out of her mind and ignoring you the same thing? The "at the SAME TIME" comment doesn't make sense to me.

-I LOVE the arrogance in the "ha-ha" flaw. It would be great to see her RPing this!

-I'd love to see a little more description in the "no no no" flaw. It seems like a great place to flesh out Alecta a little more - why does she feel the need for denial? Where does her fear come from?

^_^ Good luck with her, she's a great concept and I hope you get her! Feel free to click my sig and crit me back if you want.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:01 am


Faewynd

-you might want to go over and do a spell/grammar check. I noticed a few typos. ^_^

I will throw it into Microsoft Word and spellcheck when I get the chance.
Faewynd
-CHICKEN POT PIE FTW!

I love them. All of my characters are based off of me somewhat, so...
Faewynd
-I liked how you described her friendship with Spectria and why they work well together. It gives good insight into her personality as well.

Thanks, Fae-I figured they could be best friends and work together, like Hestia and Algol (but neither is a servant)!
Faewynd
-For the athletics hobby, you might want to re-word it a little, I found it kind of confusing. What makes her bad at dancing? Is she clumsy? Does she have two left feet? Why is she good with gymnastics but not with dancing?

I changed this.
Faewynd
-You mention that she likes to draw fanart of whatever she's currently writing. Maybe you could add writing as a hobby as well: what does she write? Short stories? Fanfiction? Poetry?

Added this in as a note.
Faewynd
-Her "flexible" virtue doesn't make sense to me. Not going with the flow when she doesn't want to doesn't seem like a description of flexibility. I'm not sure how her physical flexibility translates into a personality strength? Maybe you could clarify a little more on this one. ^_^

...I tried to fix this. emo
Faewynd
-I like the start of the second virtue's description, it seems like she thinks outside of the box. But the sentence doesnt finish! I'd love to know what you were going to write there.

Finished this!
Faewynd
-Is she a stage actress, or just very good at dissembling? And what is it about her personality she's hiding? This might be a really good opportunity for you to give us a closer look at the "real" Alecta.

I gave you a look at the true Alecta.
Faewynd
-Isn't blocking you out of her mind and ignoring you the same thing? The "at the SAME TIME" comment doesn't make sense to me.

You're right! Changed!
Faewynd
-I LOVE the arrogance in the "ha-ha" flaw. It would be great to see her RPing this!

I'd love to RP it too, heh.
Faewynd
-I'd love to see a little more description in the "no no no" flaw. It seems like a great place to flesh out Alecta a little more - why does she feel the need for denial? Where does her fear come from?

Done it.
Faewynd
^_^ Good luck with her, she's a great concept and I hope you get her! Feel free to click my sig and crit me back if you want.

Will. After this, a MARKPLZ is in order.

Daekie

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kalindara

PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 3:37 am


User Image

Okay, since I just came from Psyche's profile, both of them having weird names jumps out at me. Having strange parents, sure. Kids end up with weird names all the time. But BOTH of them having really weird never-been-used-as-a-name-before names that also just HAPPEN to be almost their senshi name as well as their power sphere? Getting a bit much.

I like the photography hobby, very well explained.

The second hobby is less to do with athletics (running, shotput, vault, highjump, javelin... you know, the things you do at an Athletics Carnival?) and more just dancing and gymnastics. I think a rename of the hobby is in order. You say she's very rhythmic, so name the hobby "Rhythmic" instead.

Flexibility is basically adapting to new situations as they occur / very quickly. You say she won't go with the flow? Not flexibility. Also, her physical flexibility has nothing to do with mental flexibility - leave it up in the hobbies where it belongs.

"She can think of anything that could work and try it out" - too generic, and sounding overpowered. Give situations, examples, and limits.

"She thinks of every possibility." Godmoding. And impossible. No one can think of EVERY possibility.

"she's also mentally flexible" - give examples!

SHOW, DON'T TELL.

"If something doesn't work, Alecta goes at it in a totally different way that's not what she's supposed to do otherwise. Basically, she can think up whatever she wants to, and actually try executing it!" I have no idea what you just said. Except that you said something very similar in the Flexible virtue.

For the Facade virtue, you need to concentrate on why it's a virtue. Why is this a good thing? How does it help Alecta?

"Alecta can block you out of her mind and work on something. At the SAME TIME." Yeees, everyone can. It's called ignoring them, or being too busy to pay them attention. "At the SAME TIME" is redundant. If you just mean that when she's focused, she doesn't hear you or pay any attention, say that.

"when she does this, you are not there in her mind unless she wants you to be there-which means, if she blocks anyone, unless she's being flexible...pain, pain, and more pain." Again, what? Why is there pain? For Alecta or for the person being 'blocked'? And how does her flexibility effect her ignoring people in any way?

You're having some problems explaining yourself in these flaws and virtues. Think of what actually happens. Describe it in detail - if you need to, go blow-by-blow. Whatever it takes to get your ideas out in understandable, easy-to-follow terms.

Again, follow up on the negative effects of her Ha, Ha virtue. And include how it effects her non-senshi life, too. Does she realise this will make people hate her? Does she care? Does she mistake their hatred for jealousy, because she's clearly someone everyone wants to be as smart/strong/beautiful/awesome as?

For "No, No, No", you start off talking about how she denies reality if she agree with it. But then you move to her having to take the initiative. These are two separate flaws. Either divide into the two parts, for a total of four flaws, or remove whichever one you don't mean.

In the Super attack, why does Alekto gain resistance to pain? She's not the Senshi of Pain, so where is that effect coming from? Stick to the powerup of being more painful than before.

Also for attacks 1 and 1a, I think you will need to limit the "pain they have dished out to their victims" as only being the pain for the current battle. Otherwise it'll end up way overpowered, especially when she goes against the higher-ranked Negaverse agents.

I highly approve of the Eternal attack. Very nice, and good limit on it, too.
PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:04 am


User Image

Cameragirl: Why does she wear jackets with hand pockets? And a bag? Does it have her camera in it? Or does she wear/carry a bag just to look cool? I don't get the "for this very reason" she has this stuff.

Drawing: " She says that all her drawings suck, but I know better-" Who is "I"? This is a character profile! Does she know better? Do her friends? Parents? Teachers? Who?

'Cause It's All A Facade: How does this help her out? She's an actress... does she take classes? Drama club? Where did she learn how to do this? Why does she do it? What's in it for her? How is this a virtue?

A virtue is a positivie aspect about your character that assists them in everyday life and/or makes other people look up to them. I don't see how her facade virtue helps her -- it strikes me more as a hobby, and almost too twinky -- "So she can be any type of person." So what? Prove it!

Attack 1a: How is the attack more painful? Does it dish out a larger amount of pain to the person it's targetting than before? What if she's going up against another senshi, who's tied up one of Sailor Alekto's teammats -- would this attack not affect them at all? Serve as a distraction? Do nothing?

These are just some things to think about. Good luck!

Marushii

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Daekie

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:09 am


I've tried to fix everything, and Alekto is now sphereless. Have at it!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:36 pm


This is not a crit, just a possible sphere suggestion. What about using anger/rage as a sphere?

"Steaming with anger" could be used as inspiration for an attack, or the idea of having one's "blood boil with rage." You could have something like a beserker's rage for an attack too.

The Red Dame

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