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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:52 pm
Hey, their guild has it. wink
Could you date a pro-lifer, at all?
My boyfriend and I will celebrate two years in February. He is pro-choice, and that makes me happy. It makes me feel secure to know that he would value me more than a fetus if it came down to dropping out of school, being homeless, etc. In fact, it makes me feel great to know that I am valued more than the content of my uterus by my boyfriend.
I do not think I could date a pro-lifer. I have respect for them (especially when they are truly pro-life, not anti-abortion), but I could not date someone who has fundamentally different beliefs than me. Not just for abortion, but for things like gay-rights, feminism, pacifism, and working for a better tomorrow for people in impoverished nations. These are all things I feel strongly about, and not only does my boyfriend agree with me on them, but he is also very supportive of my views of working towards them in the future.
How about you?
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:48 pm
Not a steadfast one. If I could have honest conversations with her and make her think about it, then, maybe. I mean, it's not like abortion is going to affect my relationships, to be quite honest, but I guess it's the principle. I couldn't date someone that I viewed as amoral.
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:13 pm
I don't know if I could, honestly. I'm not normally one to engage in discussions on hot-button issues with potential dating partners, and if I found out someone who I was dating was anti-abortion, I don't know how comfortable I'd be. Hypothetical situations are hard.
It might depend on just how anti-abortion they are. You have those who are ardently anti-abortion, protesting outside clinics, reading the pro-life blogs, and being quick to recite whatever they found on abort73. Then you've got those who don't know much about the issue or any of its factors, but at first thought don't seem too fond of the thought of killing anything. And then you've got everything in between!
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:23 am
Absolutely not. Any one who thinks that they have a right to force me to have a child against my will is not someone I could be intimate with.
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:17 pm
No, I don't think I could,or ever willfor that matter. If they were the type (do these even exist?) who said, "I don't believe in abortion, but I'm not going to stop you from making that choice,"then probabaly. But that is a very small probabaly.
I just couldn't date someone that didn't respect my views and wishes, and I couldn't deal with bringing a child into the world that I was forced to have.
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Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:13 pm
lol i AM dating a pro-lifer >.<
fortunately, she's not that strongly opinionated on the subject, so if she ever got pregnant, i might b able to convince her to abort
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:58 am
I don't think so. I much prefer people who have the same core values as I do.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:16 pm
No way. It would mean if I ever wanted an abortion, I'd either have to live with the secret and possibility of them finding out, or deal with them potentially breaking up with me, or them trying to guilt me into making a different choice. As with most women, I would have a damn good reason for wanting an abortion, so people trying to dissuade me would just be off-putting. I'm aware that's the point, but at the same time, when making ANY difficult decision it's nice to only be surrounded by support. For example, when I broke up with my long-term boyfriend a few months ago, people were supportive. If they'd been negative or told me I was an idiot, I a) might not have done it, against my better judgement or b) done it and felt terrible about it, despite knowing it was for the best.
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Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:20 pm
II iGoRawrz II lol i AM dating a pro-lifer >.< fortunately, she's not that strongly opinionated on the subject, so if she ever got pregnant, i might b able to convince her to abort Hmmm. I'm not so sure that's the best thing to do. Perhaps talk to her about it and discuss your thoughts on the matter, but the point of being pro-choice is not to convince people to abort: it's to give them the ability to if they want to.
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Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 8:31 pm
That's like asking me if I'd date a white supremacist. I wouldn't be with someone who views me as a second class citizen.
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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:01 am
I think I coulnd't. I have a strong opinion about abortion and pro-choice. I think I woulnd't feel "safe" with that, I don't want children so ig I got pregnant I didn't want someone forcing me to have a baby.
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Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:31 pm
I doubt it. You see, I've read far too many posts by pro-lifers about how some innocent young man was crushed (destroyed! annihilated!) by his girlfriend "killing his baby." If I were to get pregnant, abortion would be a very real option for me. If chose to have an abortion, I wouldn't want to shred the life of some pro-lifer who had weirdly decided to screw a pro-choice woman.
I actually had an experience where a pro-life man wanted to have a temporary, sexual relationship with me. It floored me. I knew he opposed abortion in either all or most circumstances (I don't think we talked about health/life of the mother, although we did talk about fetal deformity), and he knew that I was pro-choice enough to volunteer at a women's clinic. Despite all this, he still wanted to have sex with me. He wasn't someone I wanted to have sex with anyway, but the fact that he was pro-life made me wonder why he would think that having sex with me was a good idea.
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Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:12 am
i'm not sure bc if it came down to it i would get an abortion i don't want someone to force me to have a baby at my age now
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:26 pm
II iGoRawrz II lol i AM dating a pro-lifer >.< fortunately, she's not that strongly opinionated on the subject, so if she ever got pregnant, i might b able to convince her to abort Erm... that's not exactly upholding the ideals of the pro-choice movement... As to the topic of this thread, I've dated pro-life individuals in the past, but we never discussed our stances until later on in the relationship. He eventually came around though. Could I do it again? Well, I don't foresee any relationships other than the one I'm currently in, but for the sake of discussion, I'm going to say that the thought of being involved with someone who wouldn't allow me full rights to my body puts me way past uncomfortable.
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 6:25 pm
I could never, ever date a pro-lifer let alone marry one.
Hardcore, softcore, trendy -- doesn't matter the type of pro-lifer; I could never do it.
In fact, I think there's a list of fundamental/ideological "dealbreakers" that each person should make available pre-dating. It'd so much useless time.
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