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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:06 am
failureXstereo (7:07:03 PM): The sun was high in the sky, warming Shu'reh's white pelt and giving her an idea of the time of day. She had several hours before she'd have to sneak back over the boarders to her pride, and pretend she'd just gone off to a hidey-hole somewhere in the pride.
Her unseeing eyes were downcast, and her head hung low as she walked along, dragging her paws every so slightly. Around her neck hung a thin rope, and from that rope rode the uncomfortable weight of Aquamarine, a stone she knew only by name and not be color or beauty. It was the weight of humiliation; the weight of failure.
After all her attempts at becoming what she'd always wanted to be, a warrior, she was not but a nanny! A simple, cub watching nanny. Her heart ached for what she was, for what she lost, and for what could have been. She was disabled and for the first time in her life the word actually meant something!
She kicked her paw through the short grass and growled. She was stronger, more able than half of the warriors that littered the military now. She hear better, scented better, and yet without sight she was deemed worthless. The thought made her hackles rise and she growled again, ending in a sobbing snarl.
yinbug (7:36:43 PM): Emm'ahlie was off on her own for a little bit once more. She was wadnering away from the male that she was spending her time with. Dude was very nice, she didn't mind spending the time that she had with him. She flicked her tail behind a bit before wandering away from the den that she was in. She wanted to go do something at the moment, so she was wandering.
She wasn't feeling 100% Then again she didn't feel that way offten. But it didn't keep her from wandering away and going to find some one to spend some time with as Dude was away. She trotted silently panting a little bit. She was still pretty tired, but she wasn't tired enough to stop.
This 'sickness' of sorts was something that she always had as far as she could remember, so when it came down to it at the moment she was used to it.
However soons he found herself coming across her company, it was a another lioness, all alone, she blinked a bit before wandering over too her. "Are you alright sweetie?" She asked quietly.
failureXstereo (7:44:09 PM): Shu'reh heard the slightly tired footsteps long before she heard the voice. Paws shuffled slightly as it walked, and Shu'reh could tell that even if the creature wasn't about to fall over and snore, there was some stiff tiredness in those limbs.
The scent of female reached her nose just before the voice did her ears, and she tried to offer up a smile, no matter how false it was. Her eyes, while focused in the direction of the voice, were much more likely to be above the lioness, but the intent was there. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said softly, trying to keep her tones light, painless. She didn't want to alarm anyone. Didn't want this female to automatically go into mother mode. If she did, Shu'reh might break down. Warrior or not, what she felt still hurt.
yinbug (8:08:34 PM): Emm looked at the lioness and could see the strong glazed look in her eyes she knew that she had seen that look in a lion before, it was the first lion that she met who was disabled like she was. Emm sat not that far away from the lioness before scooting forward toward her and nipping at her gently. "No you aren't you were crying." She made a small face before nuzzling the lioness gently. "If you want to talk about it I can listen."
failureXstereo (8:11:50 PM): Shu'reh shuddered slightly at the touch and felt the warmth of tears rim her eyes. "It's ridiculous." She whispered, shaking her head. She didn't know this female, didn't want to cry infront of a stanger. It was so hard to keep back though. Her throat felt strained from the effort and her skin felt hot. "I shouldn't even be crying over this." She frowned and turned her head in another direction, hiding the nearly overflowing tears still fighting to be loose.
yinbug (8:16:17 PM): Emm looked at her before shaking her head "It's not ridiculous." She chuckled slightly before shaking her head. She chuckled slightly sitting back on her haunches before and nodding at her. "If this sounds a little rube please forgive me if I do. However if you are upset because you... blind, don't. I have a disability myself." He nodded before pausing for a moment and laughing."
"I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Please forgive me. My name is Emm'ahlie. What is yours?" She could tell the lioness was younger than herself. It was something she could just tell.
failureXstereo (8:21:39 PM): She sniffed slightly, a more pathetic sound that she'd intended. "I'm Shu'reh."
She took a shuddery breath and released it slowly, trying to gaina grip on herself. Disability. There was that word again. "It's not that I'm blind. I came to terms with that when I was a young cub. It does link back to the blindness though." She shook her head. "It's kind of a long, cubbish story, honestly. Like a ludicrous fairy tail."
yinbug (8:30:29 PM): Emm chuckled slightly at the lioness, not in a way to laugh at her but more of a comforting way. She moved a little closer to the lioness before nuding her. "Well I'm glad you came to terms with it. There are many who can't pull themselves over it." she chuckled slightly before nodding to her. "I came to terms with mine a while ago too yinbug (8:31:48 PM): She then blinked a bit at the lioness before smiling slightly. "Ah, I have the time to hear it and if you are crying I think you should be able to talk for a bit.
failureXstereo (8:35:46 PM): Shu'reh could hear the smile in the lioness's voice, and she flicked her ear slightly. "If you're certain you want to listen.."
She took another breath, once again fighting off the sorrow that threatened to take over, and began. "When I was a cub, I talked to my mother about my blindness. I asked why the gods took my sight, and vowed to prove to them my worth. I wanted to show everyone that even with unseeing eyes I could be great." She shook her head, a disbelieving chuckling leaving her lungs in a soft whoosh. "I trained from that day until just a few days ago to become a warrior for my pride. All for nothing."
The snort that left her was less than lady like, but she didn't care. She flicked the gem hanging around her neck, hating it's weight. "I'm just a Nanny. Not a warrior, not even a stinking gaurd. It's like I wasted so much of my life for nothing."
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:45 am
Emm could feel the mood lighten up just a little bit, it made her feel good herself. She nudged her again before nodding. "I would have too! Just to prove them that I can do it. I would have trained my little heart out." she chuckled a bit at the idea. She knew she couldn't do that. But she would most likely try to anyway. Emm was stubborn when it came to things that she wanted to do.
"They made you a Nanny?" She made a small face before shaking her head and letting out a small sigh. she didn't know what to say to that "That is really not fair..." Her voice trailed before she looked at the lioness again. "You never know. You might end up being albe to prove yourself some time."
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:40 pm
Shu'reh grumbled in her throat, rather uncharacteric for her. She shook her head and blew out a breath. "I doubt anything could convince them. If you took their eyesight away I doubt they could get anywhere. They're too dependent on it." She sat back and rolled her shoulders.
"I'm built to be a warrior. I can feel it. I feel my muscles, my strength. I love the burn of training. Love the excitement of a fight. I'm too tough to be a nanny." She closed her bright eyes, tilting her head. "You ever have the feeling that people judge you too harshly?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:50 pm
Emm'ahlie looked at her before nudging her slightly and nodding with a soft smile on her face, even though the other lioness couldn't see it she was hoping that she could tell that she was smiling, she was hoping that the other lioness could tell she was smiling. "Well, prove them wrong, you have to." She chuckled slightly before nodding toward her. "There is bound to some one in the pride who will want to help you. You never know."
She let out a small sight before nodding. "They always tired to keep me from doing what I wanted." She sighed before nudging her. "I also feel like they judge me to harshly. But I ignore them. I do what I want. That's why I'm wandering around here."
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Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:09 pm
Shu'reh frowned. "I don't want to leave my pride. I feel a little.. put down, but I couldn't leave my mother and sister." She shook her head. "I may be able to get on fine, but I love my family too much. I miss my brother enough as is."
"Do you have a family?" Her head tilted as she opened her eyes again once again focusing near, but not quite on Emm. "And what's your disability? If you don't mind me asking." She wondered if it had to do with the stiff sleep-ridden way she walked.
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Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 10:40 am
Emm'ahlie looked at her with a smile before letting out a chuckle "don't leave your pride, just try even hardest." She licked her cheek gently before nudging her and nodding. "Your brother doesn't live with you?" She made a small face before shrugging. "Thats sad." She nudged her then yawned then nudged her again.
"No I don't have family. Not around here anyway." she let out a light hearted laugh then smiled slightly. "I'm not really that sure what it is called but I pass out all the time and I get really tired easily and stuff." She shrugged again.
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:55 am
Shu'reh had to smile at the affection this lioness showed. She didn't get affection like this often, and it felt good. Shaking her head gently she said, "No, he left the pride when he was young. To become a better lion. He joined another pride, and I don't think he's coming back." Her frown deepened.
"That's terrible. If I didn't at least have my sister I'd be a wreck." She nudged Emm'ahlie back and offered a small smile. "That sounds like a real annoyance, honestly. Do you ever get hurt because of it? My lack of eyesight hasn't hurt me, really. Other than emotionally. But I can move around fine."
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:47 pm
For a lioness who only remembered every other event in her life because she passed out so many times. She didn't remember everyday. She lived in a dreamy state some times sometimes she was there and other times she wasn't there. But she put that all beside her and wanted to live where she wanted and be by herself independent and be happy With the way she was n stead of worrying about other people having to table care of her. She really wished that others would think the same way she would but she knew that it wouldn't work that way. She wished it would.
She nudged the lioness then made a small face. "Awww... Maybe your brother will come back. I hope that you atleast get to see him again some time." she chuckled then flicked her hair out of her eyes and nodded. "Somes times. I've hurt my head from hitting the ground a little too hard. Itm used to it but It's something that I'm used to.
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Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:10 pm
Shu'reh made a face, something like a mix of sympathy and imagined pain. "It sounds like we live in a really similar boat." She smiled then, nudging Emm'ahlie. "It's really nice to know there are other lions out there that have the sort of trouble I do. It's really hard to deal with all the gushy sympathy sometimes. I don't mind that others feel a little sorry for my condition, but it hasn't hindered me, and they should realize that."
She puffed out her chest, proud of herself. "I think everything that's important is on the inside, and all of our outward senses are just luxuries that not everyone has."
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Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 3:23 pm
Emm chuckled again before nodding. "We are, I know we aren't the only in the boat but it's hard to come across others like us..." Her voice trailed before she shook her head and nodding. "I know I wanted to go off on my own because I got tired of others wanting to help me all the time." She laughed slightly before shrugging again. "I can take care of myself pretty good, I just have to try to becareful most of the time." She laughed slightly before nodding again.
"Agreed." She chuckled slightly then nudged the lioness.
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 5:47 am
"It must feel good to be free of the constant worry all the time." She smiled, imagining what that would be like. But her heart ached at even the thought of leaving home. No, she was definitely not leaving. She'd do as this lioness told her, and she'd prove herself to the pride. One way or another, they'd see she could be their best warrior.
"You should come visit me at my pride some time. It would be nice to have different company every so often. We're the Matembezi'Wasakaji."
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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:22 pm
Emm smiled and nodded. "It is some times. However other times I do kind of wish I had some one around to help me out or take care of me." She sighed slightly and shook her head but then chuckled again "Though I have to admit that doesn't always work that way. I wish I had some company but my pride won't let it happen. She grunted then stood to her feet. "I will have to visit." She chuckledslightly and flicked her hair ouf of her eyes "I'll catch you another time Shu I have to go for now." She flashed a smile and nodded.
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Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:49 pm
Shu'reh couldn't help feeling excited at the prospect of the new relationship she was forming with this lioness. She felt connected, like she had someone who really understood, and that was worth everything.
She nodded and gave a heartwarming grin. "Thank you so much for making me feel better. I'll see you." She bowed her head to the lioness and stood, turning back towards the pride. The air was cooling now anyways, which meant she might as well head home.
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