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[Q] Sailor Skathi, Senshi of Winter [MARKPLZ/Crit] (RL Slot)

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Dapper Prophet

PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:15 am


Noel Yalda

Senshi: Sailor Skathi

Power Sphere: Winter

Name: Noel Yalda

Nicknames: N/A

Gender: Male

Birthday: December 24

Age: 18

Sign: Capricorn

Blood Type: A

Fav. Food: Black Tea & Roast Turkey

Hated Food: Cayenne Peppers & Cauliflower

School: Sovereign Heights (Health & Physical Education Major)

Hobbies:
-Snowboarding: When the weather cools down and a thick sheet of snow covers the ground, Noel is the first one to the slopes. He is far from the best at this sport, but has enough enthusiasm that the bunny slopes are more than worth a few rough tumbles. Every winter morning, he gets up early to practice and hopes one day to graduate to the real mountain slopes. His dedication to the sport is furthered by the fact that he gets to enjoy nature and hopefully be with a group of other snowboarding enthusiasts.

-Swimming:
Noel has been in the water since he was 5 years old. Physically, he is well suited for the water as he is tall and has well proportioned limbs. Years of experience in the water have also helped increase his limit for holding his breath and his overall stamina. When he started secondary school, he began attending swim meets and has become a force to be reckoned with in the water as his record time keeps improving. Swimming also allows him to be in the presence of some nice looking fellows in the bare essentials and that is an amazing source of motivation.

-Hanging Out: A social creature by nature, Noel thrives in any social situation. Though he prefers the outdoors, he is happy to just spend the days goofing off with his friends. Whether they are lounging in the park, running around the city, or walking around campus. He just wants to be around the people he cares for. This also gives him a chance to get to know the people around him a little bit better and share some favorite activities with them as well.

Virtus:
-Passionate: Noel possess the ability to fully commit to the world around him. He cares deeply for his friends and family. He will do just about anything for them. Physical relations are a big driving force for him as well. He is a very sensual person and though it usually starts as a hand shake or a hug, he enjoys the company of others, whether they are male or female. When he takes on an activity, he lives and breathes it and works very hard to succeed. This has benefited him well with his endeavors in snowboarding and swimming. With his fervid nature, he is blessed with the ability to live for the moment and has a great deal of enthusiasm for things he enjoys. Therefore, it is extremely rare for him to regret the past. While giving him the ability to enjoy his world, this passion also makes him very susceptible to falling prey to his emotions. They can easily lead him to rash or poor decisions that are driven by emotion and completely lack reason.

-Brave: He never fears danger, always the first to jump right into the heart of the battle. He isn't one to back down or waver in a crisis, especially if it involves those he cares about. This can lead to some unfortunate circumstances as he tends to be an act now, talk later kind of guy. It's not uncommon for the odds to be stacked against him because he thought taking on four enemies at once wouldn't be that difficult. He has had his a** handed to him more than once for standing up to some bullies or just simply taking on more than he can handle.

-Optimistic: We will always triumph! A young man usually known for being positive in the worst possible circumstances given that his emotions aren‘t turned against him. He's a great friend in times of need and is usually the voice of hope for the group. Noel believes the best outcome will occur and has very high hopes for life and the future. Failure or defeat are hard for him to deal with, as his hopes have been crushed and the world turned against him.

-Resourceful: Noel is very skilled in using the environment around him to his advantage. Though it benefits him in his academic career in the form of finding different study tools, this skill comes through and shines in battle. Mainly, he shines in combat because he doesn’t have enough patience to carefully apply this skill in day to day life. He feels content with taking the world as it is in his everyday life given his zealous nature. Only in dire situations does he truly focus on using his environment to its fullest potential.

Flaws:
-Impatient: A young man always on the move, he is a very restless spirit. The main expectation that he has for life is that it will always move forward. Noel is the first to take the stairs over the elevator since he simply can’t stand to wait for it to go down one floor. He is a terrible cook because it can take so long for one entrée to be completed. Annoyance is the first emotion to show when someone takes an hour to tell a five minute story or repeats the same thing over and over. The desire for a life full of excitement leaves him to make many brash actions and decisions. This is the main downside of his bravery as it places him on the wrong end of a horde of youma or a particularly nasty Negaverse officer.

-Impetuous: The downside of his fervid nature is that every emotion is never concealed or contained. He’s definitely a boy who wears his heart on his sleeve. He isn’t afraid to cry or scream in order to go through the motions of his current emotional state. Though not volatile, he doesn’t hesitate to berate or confront others in order to resolve the situation. In fact, he’s his own worst enemy when something goes wrong or if he having a bad day. A great way for an easy defeat would be for his opponent to use his emotions against him since he isn’t going to be able to stay very focused in battle.

-Lewd: An incredibly sensual person, Noel lives for physical satisfaction. He eagerly seeks physical relations with most of his good friends since he truly believes it is the highest form of friendship. He doesn’t care if they are male or female, as long as they are attractive, he is first in line to heat things up. While he has seen some of the negative consequences of risky comments, he has not addressed the consequences of his love of intimacy nor does he plan on it. Noel is the first to flash a grin and give a wink at any attractive individual. In fact, one of the main reasons he joined a swim team was to be around a bunch of athletic guys in swim suites all day. Coupled with his optimism, he generally believes others are just as ready to extend the boundaries of their friendship. While he would never force someone or be extremely vulgar, he is always actively seeking or thinking about appeasing his physical desires. This flaw is not based on confidence, but his desire for sensual pleasure and a strong combination of his passion for life and optimistic nature.

-No Second Chances: This is it, no do-over’s, no screw-ups. Once he is done with someone or something, then it's over and done for him. A closed book with nothing to add. If someone hurts him or something he cares for, then they are off his list of potential buddies for life. This is a very quick shortcut to seeing the worst in him and he certainly won’t hesitate to let them know just how upset he feels about the situation. His desire to complete the task at hand only one time with fervor comes as another downside to his his passionate nature. It’s one strike and they are out. He certainly doesn’t have an interest in working with people who take a couple of practice tries to get it right. Noel isn’t the best teacher and if someone has a hard time understanding something, he wants nothing to do with them. He doesn't believe that people can change for the better and self-improvement, for most, ended at toilet training.

Appearance:
Skin: pale, normal, healthy
Eyes: vibrant brownish red
Hair Color: light ash blonde
Hair Style: short, pompadour
Face Shape: Angled, strong
Body Type: Very Athletic
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:28 am


Sailor Skathi

Fuku Color:
-Main: Russet Brown
-Secondary: Dark red

Key Fuku Elements
Theme: Nordic and suited for cold weather
Vest: Fur sleeveless vest
Gloves: Fur lined Gloves at top
Top: White fur lining on the bottom edges of his bodice
Brooch: White Snowflake
Bottom: Form Fitting pants
Bows: Ascot & bow combo on his chest. A bow on his back.
*Just ideas, nothing set in stone. I would really like to give Natsu a few ideas and let her take control from there. <3

Challenge: "Freeze in your tracks!" or "You're skating on thin ice!"

Attack #1
NAME: Frigid Frostbite
--Description: Sailor Skathi places both hands on his snowflake brooch and then raises both hands in the direction of the target. The temperature around the enemy is drastically lowered and a slight frost covers them for a few seconds. The attack causes the sensation of shivering all over the body immediately after contact. The effect lasts for 15 seconds. Extremities and exposed skin can turn red, loose feeling, and swell slightly for a few moments after the attack.

--Weakness: He has to be within 5 feet of the enemy, be able to see them, and they have to stay within the 5 ft. radius of the attack. The attack can only affect one object within the radius and he can’t move once he has invoked the ability. It can only be used twice per battle.

Attack #1a
NAME: Arctic Annihilation
--Description: Sailor Skathi punches the ground and a thick sheet of frost covers a 6 ft circular area around him. Up to 2 targets within the attack radius are covered in frost and experience an overwhelming sensation of shivering for 30 seconds. Exposed skin can turn red and lose feeling for a short time after the attack.

--Weakness: He has to be within 6 feet of the enemy, be able to see them, and they have to stay within the 6 ft. radius of the attack. The attack can only affect two targets within the radius and he can’t move once he has invoked the ability. It can only be used twice per battle.

Attack #2
NAME: Frozen Frost Bolts
--Description: Sailor Skathi brings both hands to his snowflake brooch and it turns into a large icy bow. He is able to fire up to 4 snowflake arrows at once. Once the arrows hit their target, they are partially paralyzed from shivering and a slight frost covers the area hit by the arrow. They usually remain partially paralyzed for 30-60 seconds. The arrows can pierce the skin, but are not fatal. The attack can be used twice per battle.

--Weakness:
He has to be able to see all his targets. He cannot move once he invokes his icy bow and is not able to change targets midway through the attack. The arrows are visible, but quick so the enemy has a small time slot to evade or block.

References:
--Skathi, the Moon: [x]
--Skaði, the Norse Jötunn and Goddess of Winter: [x]
--Pronounced "Skah-dee"

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Dapper Prophet


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Dapper Prophet

PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:30 am


Family:

Father: Noah Yalda
Mr. Yalda is kind, caring, and relatively quiet 37 year old computer programmer. He is of average height and stature and his only physical beauty are his vibrant eyes, which his son inherited. Not known to be very talkative or aggressive, he has never punished or disciplined his son which has led to a Noel being somewhat of a firecracker. His work allows him to work from home and when Noel still lived with the family, he kept a close eye on him. He tried his best to be his son's main role model since his wife is frequently away. Mr. Yalda has worked hard to teach his son to be a mature man, but Noel still retains some less than desirable traits that he cannot break. He frequently visits him on campus and the two meet up frequently to catch up on current events in their individual lives. His quiet nature allows him to be a an attentive listener which comes in handy since Noel generally does most of the talking. Noel thinks the world of his father, and his father's gentle approach to parenting has left his son wanting to emulate his father.


Mother: Delaney Yalda
Mrs. Yalda is simply a force of nature. A wild spirit who enjoys large parties, traveling the globe, and having so many acquaintances that she forgets their names on a regular basis. She has an amazing body for a 36 year old woman and Noel takes his looks from her. She works for a medical supplies company as a top CEO. Her job requires that she constantly travels, so she is almost always away on business trips. Fearing she would lose her son, she has instilled "Quality over Quantity" from an early age. While her husband has no qualms about her schedule, she is known to have a few lovers on the side. Noel shares this trait unfortunately. While she only gets to see her son a few times a year, they pick up right where they left off and their similar personalities blend nicely to create an apartment full of crazy stories.

Family Home:
The Yalda family shares a two bedroom, one office, and two bath apartment in the heart of the city. Though average in size and location, the interior is very nicely decorated and every appliance top of the line.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:38 am


Open for Crits! heart

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Dapper Prophet


Auric Halcyon

Feral Wife

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:58 am


Not sure if this will help much because I'm still pretty new to the shop, but perhaps expand on his dependencies on others (in his loneliness); that is how long does it usually take before he starts talking to himself? I have a friend who can't sleep in an empty house- she's 23 and cannot spend a night alone (she always has someone over) because she can't take the silence or the alone-time, so much so that she PLANS months in advance to have friends over, etc. So is he as bad as that? Or worse?

Does his bravery get him into bad situations sometimes? And being strategic, does he sometimes over-think things? Being with his heart-on-his-sleeve, is he easy to read and thus gets gulled into things a bit?
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:34 pm


Thank you very much for criticism! It was very helpful. I have added to all of his flaws and to his virtues as well. I think I have answered your questions. Let me know if not.

I also added a talent for Barren Pines, edited his hobbies, and added a family section.

More crits please! heart

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Dapper Prophet


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Dapper Prophet

PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:18 am


I made some big changes to his flaws and virtues, added a lot more detail to his Senshi form and his family life.

I still would like more crits before I asked to be marked! Any help is appreciated!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 3:13 pm


Changed his name and updated his attacks. I tried to tie in the fact that Skaði is also a goddess of bow hunting for the final attack.

So, I'm going to say I'm ready to be marked!

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Dapper Prophet


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Dapper Prophet

PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:46 pm


Changed his name to Noel since it feels more winter-related. Also added more details to his fuku concept. Would love suggestions on which name people like better: Theobald or Noel. Also, would really like suggestions for his challenge. heart
PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:26 pm


I need some crits please. Would appreciate knowing if impatient and/or impetuous will work for his weakness. Also, I need to know if I should get rid of impetuous or no second chances in favor of brash.

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Marushii

Enduring Loiterer

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 3:59 pm


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He looks good to me, actually! His passion combined with impatient can easily lead to brash/recklessness in an RP, so I honestly don't think you need to list it as those two quirks of his personality can make it very easily.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 3:01 pm


I really appreciate the crit Maru. <33 Thank you very much.

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Dapper Prophet


kalindara

PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:01 pm


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Awesome and original profile. I think the impatient and impetuous flaws are fine as they are. And "weakness" was only required for the new blood contest, so it's not a concern anymore.

I adore the "lewd" flaw. I totally want to see Noel in an RP with Andeon XD
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