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 Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:46 am
Ive been hurt many times and convinced that all men were evil.
Ha.
Not too long ago, I have met the most wonderful guy in the world who wants to do nothing more than please and love me.
Now, even though we have not been dating long, we already plan to stay together for the future. ive already told him my three rules...
I. Do not hit or harm me.
II. On other girls and pornography; you can look but not touch. Except for hugs. (Thats fair right?)
III. Anything but sex until betrothed.
I dont think thats too harsh.
But the issue is, Im having trouble getting aroused, and being a virgin I am awful at pleasing orally and by hand. So usually, he rubs against me and I join in until his climax. I feel like Im not doing enough. Then, its not that I feel satisfied, Im very happy, I just dont feel as aroused and really want to be; unfortunately Im only aroused when were apart because I think about what we do together. I would really appreciate ways we can both feel aroused or perhaps both reach a climax without penetration...
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:12 am
Smashing Pumpkin ...being a virgin I am awful at pleasing orally and by hand. You don't have to have sex in order to please your man orally or manually. There are plenty of virgins who are good at that stuff, and there are plenty of non-virgins who are not. The key to being good is communication, patience, motivation, and experimentation. You can't expect to be a pro right away. Keep working at it. Ask your partner what feels good and what doesn't feel as good. Smashing Pumpkin So usually, he rubs against me and I join in until his climax. I feel like Im not doing enough. Then, its not that I feel satisfied, Im very happy, I just dont feel as aroused and really want to be; unfortunately Im only aroused when were apart because I think about what we do together. I would really appreciate ways we can both feel aroused or perhaps both reach a climax without penetration... Rubbing can be great, especially if your clitoris is being stimulated. He can also use his hands, his mouth, or toys to stimulate your clitoris. You're not obligated to do anything, so it's all about what you feel comfortable with. Think about what turns you on or what you would like to try with your partner. Let him know what feels good and what does not.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:19 am
LorienLlewellyn Smashing Pumpkin ...being a virgin I am awful at pleasing orally and by hand. You don't have to have sex in order to please your man orally or manually. There are plenty of virgins who are good at that stuff, and there are plenty of non-virgins who are not. The key to being good is communication, patience, motivation, and experimentation. You can't expect to be a pro right away. Keep working at it. Ask your partner what feels good and what doesn't feel as good. Smashing Pumpkin So usually, he rubs against me and I join in until his climax. I feel like Im not doing enough. Then, its not that I feel satisfied, Im very happy, I just dont feel as aroused and really want to be; unfortunately Im only aroused when were apart because I think about what we do together. I would really appreciate ways we can both feel aroused or perhaps both reach a climax without penetration... Rubbing can be great, especially if your clitoris is being stimulated. He can also use his hands, his mouth, or toys to stimulate your clitoris. You're not obligated to do anything, so it's all about what you feel comfortable with. Think about what turns you on or what you would like to try with your partner. Let him know what feels good and what does not. The awful part is we both are unexperienced is what Im saying, yet he got me to climax and I did nothing for him... And if one gets pleased the other does not. For instance about a week ago, he inserted his fingers and made me climax, but it was even yesterday, he climaxed but I felt a bit... Unfufilled and guilty. I dont want to admit that to him because I really love him... I know He likes me to breathe in his ear and massage his thighs. Thats all I can think of... >< But Ive only started to hear it takes a while to get stimulated... Maybe we need to build patience?...
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:43 am
It's ok if you're both inexperienced. Everyone has to start somewhere. And you two can experiment and learn together.
You don't have to do anything too extreme. Just find out where and how he likes to be touched, licked, breathed on, etc. Even if he is doing most of the work, that's not necessarily a bad thing. As long as you are putting in the effort and learning about his body in the process, there is a good chance that he's pretty satisfied.
I'd recommend talking to him about it though. If he is fully satisfied, then you're probably worrying for no reason. Or maybe he'll let you know some things he'd like you to try. It's usually easier to experiment if you're comfortable enough with your partner to be able to talk about it all.
Masturbation might help too since it can teach you a lot about your body and what you like. So if you two aren't really sure what you like and if you don't masturbate, it might be worth trying. You can even masturbate together.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:11 am
Talking wouldn't be a problem. We are very open about things, so I suppose it would be easier to just talk about it.
We both openly masturbate, we even gave each other article of clothing for personal purposes, and strangly enough, I do believe he would like to do it together. Thats very helpful, thank you. I think once we live together and have more time we can experiment more often.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:13 am
You can also read books and look for resources online for ideas of things you can do together. smile
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:19 am
Nikolita You can also read books and look for resources online for ideas of things you can do together. smile I have but I don't do them right. =< I take one look into his eyes and I forget everything... sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:22 pm
Smashing Pumpkin Nikolita You can also read books and look for resources online for ideas of things you can do together. smile I have but I don't do them right. =< I take one look into his eyes and I forget everything... sweatdrop Keep the book/website out and use it for reference as you two are having your fun. wink
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