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Alrighty...

Appearance: Just a minor thing, but it occurs to me your character is mostly a dragon rider. However the clothing he wears is not really suited for flight (I can just imagine cloaks getting in the way, tangled up around the rider during erractic manuevers in an arial battle). And there seems to be nothing in your character that suggests he'd go for the "Badass cloak in the wind" fashion statement over the danger of "The damn thing wrapped around my eyes and I couldn't see during a fight", the dangers of getting such things caught, either by the enemy or otherwise, etc.

Personality: Generally speaking, I HATE personality sections anyway. Leave it to the RP to find out and let the player be flexible with it as any person actually is (No one I've ever met has had a rigid personality that coudl be described in just a few sentences). But your personality as written is bad for roleplaying. The way it's set up we can expect to either A, see you not follow it anyway, or B, be like Torvisu in Konoha, a pointless character that seems to show up only to offer a random fight and has no purpose, plot, and is mostly unmemorable. No one seeks out that character for roleplaying and there's a reason for it.

History: Just an off comment about the Golden Child phenomenon. Some kid with no training being better at the clan's purpose than anyone else. A little hackneyed and played, I personally don't care for it but realize that most people probably won't mind one way or another. One thing I don't really see in there is some suggestion about what your character wants to do or where he is going to go. Makes it harder to find hooks for your character.

Ninjutsu: No real problem with it. Just it's... very bland for this character. And considering he is a Clan Ninja wouldn't it be more interesting to start with something related to his clan in a more thematic way? Rather than the bland Jutsu any Fire User can use why not have say, a "Fire Spit" jutsu? More Dragon Like and has the same net effect int he end "Random ball of fire flung at target".

Also shouldn't your Clan Ability/Training be listed under Chakra control? I know it was for the other clan based ninjas.

Weapons: Details man, details. Rather than just "A Sword" expand on it. To Paraphrase a great movie, "This is my sword, there are many like it, but this one is my own". Personalize it a little. Also, what type of sword? There's a large variety that falls under "Sword" from the two handed Tulwar to the curved Kopesh to the Estoc to the Katana.

Also remember that equipped weapons should also be in your appearance unless they all pop out of nowhere.

You also mention "Various reptiles that can be summoned". Considering I see no Summoning Jutsus of any sort on your profile... what's up with that?

Again, the Mark should probably be in your description as well. But also, you still don't have a Summoning Jutsu, and such a birthmark, as your history suggests it is, should probably be a Kekkei Genkai.

So Teishu is a Dragon. Dragon. DRAGON. That bears emphasis. As in Roleplay format even a "Young" dragon of that size should have enough supernatural power and aiblity to just stomp any ninja short of a Jounin flat one on one. And could probably handle a Jounin. Not to mention Flight is a huge tactical advantage. Plus I have no idea how big it actually is. I presume that "six feet" is the foot to shoulder measurement. No idea of wingspan, length, tail length, etc. Course you say "Winged Lizard" (But you say DRAGON in other places) but still between sheer size and Flight is still so ungodly powerful for a Genin. Means other than Naruto you're probably the most powerful Genin in the RP by far.

Armor: Your clothing doesn't sound like it would other than the forearms and posibly the boots. I'd like to know just what sort of armor it is. Hardened/boiled hides? Flak jacket style like Jounin/Chuunin Jackets? Metal like Choji? A padded system? Gives us an idea if your "Armor" is more like "Handles minor bumps and scrapes" or if you're going to be blocking swords with your armor.

@ Arc: I hardly think the cloak needs to be explained. You see far more interesting get-ups in the narutoverse, and other anime, than a boy in a cloak. Its protective, to an extent, since he does ride it through the desert.

Personality: Since your feedback seemed to be just of your own personal opinion, I feel no need to change it. I like him this way, and I stick to it. You can stalk my posts through Suna if you have any doubts. Its part of his character, and I like playing the disagreeable type.

History: Again with your personal opinion, but I will elaborate if it helps. XD I will do minor edits in the morning.

Ninjutsu: Fair enough. I'll re-do his jutsu... I'm just not very creative with that sort of thing. I wasn't sure what to put under chakra control, so I'll add that in. And the sword. I hadn't really planned on using this character much for battle, to be honest. He was completely spur of the moment, because somebody insisted on me making him.

Rather than a kekki genkai, I'll reserve it for a summoning jutsu. Though as Toshi suggested just now, since Teishu is a creature that is always with him, he hardly needs to be summoned except in a rare situation where he would not otherwise already be present. So if/when he learns those jutsus, it will be later on in his development. I'm only allotted one jutsu, after all, and its crucial at this stage that it be something I can use now.

He actually isn't supposed to be a dragon. He's not a magical creature, other than his ability to change size which can be removed if its that big an issue. There just aren't that many ways i can write 'winged lizard' without being even more repetitive that I already am. He doesn't breath fire, he is just a mount. And he flies. There are creatures more powerful and interesting than that in the series itself.

@ Toshi: Hmm... yes. = ) I do actually prefer to sticking to just the one, actually, so the mention of summoning other lizards can be eliminated, now that I think about it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Ah, I see you edited while I posted that.



Now here's what I have to say about it.


One: I'm not sure that a GENIN is capable of having more powerful and interesting creatures. Remember Genin typically can't summon. We only see two in the series who can, Naruto, who with his own chakra and not the unlimited demon power could only pop out tadpoles and that stupid looking can't do jack baby toad. Other being Temari (Though I guess she was a Chuunin at the time), who just had a weasel with a scythe.

But as it stands the only difference between your Winged Lizard and a Dragon (It'd help if you didn't say Dragon four times in your profile and winged lizard only once. Gives the impression it's a Dragon and you used Winged Lizard to break it up rather than a Winged Lizard and Dragon was just to use a new word), is the lack of a breath weapon or magic. Which is likely to happen eventually as typically Tamer Clans learn to share jutsus with thier charges after all.

But as it stands your reference pic shows your beast as being possibly larger than a horse. Now lizard skin is fairly tough in my experience. So much so that scaled up to that size your "mount" would probably be immune to the various "small arms" in Naruto. Kunai, shuriken, the occasional sword even would have a tough time, much less any punches and kicks, even smaller jutsus probably wouldn't phase it, at all.

Also from a line in your profile: "dagger-like nails of his reptilian creatures and the razor sharp edges of their scales".

Now daggers are foot long blades. Meaning your dragon could do one rake attack to deliver 20 foot long blades gashing up some poor ninja. Any claw strike it does would be capable of inflicting serious, lethal damage against anything but the most heavily armored on targets like Choji's people in thier full armor. Not to mention that even a simple tail wrap/slap with so many razor sharp scales nicking them would inflict a lot of blood loss and wounds.

Never mind with the size that beast is, it would have enough muscle to rip through it though. Ever see a horse kick a man? A single horse kick can kill someone. You're talking about a creature larger and with more power behind it than that.

And even if it got outnumbered or in a position where someone might have a heavy enough weapon/jutsu to damage it he can fly off, circle around, rake and dive as needed or let you just chuck fireballs from beyond the enemy's counter attack range until he gives up.

Even without "magic" a lizard of that type would be capable of just killing any Genin, and probably Chuunin as they would not have a means to defend themselves or stop such a creature. Jounins, based on what I've seen of the characters so far, would be the only ones with enough heavy firepower to even put a serious dent in it.

Thus why I said "it'd make you the most powerful genin short of Naruto". And only because he's about Jounin power without the rank and unlimited chakra.


Now, there's no "hate" or "Venom" here. In fact it's nothing personal. If I brought my personal feelings into it I probably would have passed you as a RP I know has some skills. Just the same standards I'd apply to anyone else. I don't feel wrong saying out of all the Genins I've seen approved right now this one is the most powerful by far. And I still think he could take any of hte Chuunins passed so far without breaking a sweat.

Now I said why I think it's overclassed for a Genin. I understand you're an established character. I feel that pain as Kakashi made me ******** over my own character earlier. Nothing personal again. Just relating to it. I don't think these points are invalid. I understand if you say "******** YOU!" or the equivlent as it is your baby there and someone you've played long enough to grow attached to. Won't say anything else. Don't want this to get personal. I'm shutting up now.

I wouldn't say Teishu's a useless prop, persay. I could see many ways a winged lizard could be useful in a fight.

Approved, though I'd like another mod to state their opinion before any movements of the profile occur. I'd feel weird approving a character of my own village and moving it without first getting a second opinion.*shrug*

I prefer this jutsu to the one you had previously. Perhaps it could double as a team attack, like Kiba's Piercing Fang technique.