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 Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:05 pm
... you sleep better when your girlfriend isn't in bed next to you, and you are able to achieve more when she's left the house?
Recent experience suggests that may be the case for me.
* I slept on the couch a few nights back (it rolls out into a bed, and it was of my own choice). Best. Nights. Sleep. Ever.
* Girlfriend left the house for a couple of hours the other day (first time she left me home alone in days) and I achieved more in those couple of hours than I had in the days leading up to them.
* I've done more study today, alone at university, than I have in the last few WEEKS with her in the house with me.
Thing is, I don't know what this means. Does it mean I don't truly love her? Does it mean that maybe I don't cope well living with another person?
Any ideas? .__.
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:28 pm
It varies from person to person. Though if you do still fully love her, then it's worth noting that you may have more free time to think and do other stuff than to worry about her at the time of her absence.
Many "not-so-clingy" relationships tend to last for a long time as each individual has more time to tend to their own schedule of things that they like to do. Works better if both lovers have something in common in terms of what they do and as long as they trust each other fully.
That or it was something new from a common routine, and you were more conscious of the difference that it made in the time of her absence.
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:49 pm
Hmm. Maybe.
It's at the point now where I'm seriously considering buying a separate bed and getting our house re-arranged so we sleep in separate rooms though >.<;
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:54 pm
Valheita ... you sleep better when your girlfriend isn't in bed next to you, and you are able to achieve more when she's left the house? Recent experience suggests that may be the case for me. * I slept on the couch a few nights back (it rolls out into a bed, and it was of my own choice). Best. Nights. Sleep. Ever. * Girlfriend left the house for a couple of hours the other day (first time she left me home alone in days) and I achieved more in those couple of hours than I had in the days leading up to them. * I've done more study today, alone at university, than I have in the last few WEEKS with her in the house with me. Thing is, I don't know what this means. Does it mean I don't truly love her? Does it mean that maybe I don't cope well living with another person? Any ideas? .__. I'm the opposite: I'm very clingy to my girlfriend but she loves it. I can't concentrate at my best without her nearby. For you, I think it's just you. It's not a bad thing. People cope with one another in different ways. Maybe you don't have to be around each other all the time. That's actually great. For all I know, you could love her as much as I love my girlfriend.
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:53 am
Valheita Hmm. Maybe. It's at the point now where I'm seriously considering buying a separate bed and getting our house re-arranged so we sleep in separate rooms though >.<; o_O That's probably not going to end well. How does she feel about that? Why are you sleeping better without her? Is she clingy/snoring? Also, why can't you study that well with her around? Is she bothering you all the time (or the other way around?)
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:27 am
I kind of enjoy the days when Alex isn't online because it gives me a chance to do the things that I want to do... But after a day or two of that, I start missing him like hell, and I'm happy to go back to talking to him all day.
A break is always nice, but it's good to be able to go back to the way things normally are. You'd probably (hopefully?) miss your girlfriend if she were actually gone for longer than a day or two...
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:19 pm
CleoSombra o_O That's probably not going to end well. How does she feel about that? Why are you sleeping better without her? Is she clingy/snoring? Also, why can't you study that well with her around? Is she bothering you all the time (or the other way around?) Aside from the odd night where she yells in her sleep for no reason, it's not really any of those things. I suspect that it's because she lies in a way that requires me to lie funny >.<; She doesn't bother me, which is the weird thing. Little Miss Fortune I kind of enjoy the days when Alex isn't online because it gives me a chance to do the things that I want to do... But after a day or two of that, I start missing him like hell, and I'm happy to go back to talking to him all day.
A break is always nice, but it's good to be able to go back to the way things normally are. You'd probably (hopefully?) miss your girlfriend if she were actually gone for longer than a day or two... I do tend to start sleeping odd hours and missing meals when she's gone home. Of course, that could just be because there's nobody here to keep my schedule in check...
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:32 pm
Is living together a new thing? Maybe you just need more time to adapt?
Or maybe you're like me. I can't get anything done unless I'm left alone. And I've always had difficultly falling asleep in the same bed as someone 'cept like cuddling and falling asleep.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:53 am
Shiori Miko Is living together a new thing? Maybe you just need more time to adapt? Or maybe you're like me. I can't get anything done unless I'm left alone. And I've always had difficultly falling asleep in the same bed as someone 'cept like cuddling and falling asleep. New as in, approaching 2 years >.<;; It might be that I have trouble getting things done when I'm not alone...
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 5:17 pm
Most people actually sleep worse without a spouse or mate or whatever sleeping in the same bed. If you normally have problems occasionally, sleeping with them in the same bed actually agrivates it.
The practice of sharing a bed came from the need of the poor, who could not afford big beds that they could sleep with enough room, or have a home large enough to hold two beds for the both of them.
Science is on your side, but the tradition might get your girlfriend pissed anyways. It might seem romantic that you can only sleep with her by your side, but in reality you are both unconscious and there is no point.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 7:31 pm
With any luck, her inner scientist will lessen the damage then >.<;
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:14 am
While I have NEVER, EVER SLEPT with my bf....*i'm not even 17 man!* I do actually enjoy myself when he's not around. Put it this way....When your gf/bf ain't around. You got time to enjoy yourself. I mean, come on. You get me time. You don't have to worry about them, and you can just relax. I have an ex bf, and the amount of relef I had when I got rid of him was great. Sure, it took a couple of days to sink in, but it was great. XD
If you do still love your gf though, maybe you two should start organizing stuff. Like...I dunno....Meet up with friends more or somethinng. You don't have to do stuff toghether all the time. XD dramallama
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:46 pm
my bf snores and stops me getting sleep in other ways as well (i'm sure you all know what i mean) so when we're stay over at each other's houses i sleep a LOT better when he's not there.
but i like the snuggling and cuddles i get when he is there, and when he's around i don't really care about the lack of sleep. even if i am like a zombie the next morning.
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:14 pm
I sleep a lot better at home alone than I do when I'm visiting my boyfriend, for the simple reason that I find it easier to sleep when there isn't another body next to me invading my space and making noise. biggrin It doesn't have anything to do with our feelings for each other, just simple logistics.
You may also just be more distracted when she's around, or maybe you felt a void when she wasn't there and filled it with work to keep yourself busy.
All of which is to say, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that there's something awry with you or the relationship when there may be completely unrelated reasons for what you're seeing.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:52 am
A lot of it really does depend on the person. Not just you, but her as well.
In my opinion:
You may have gotten better sleep simply because of what you were sleeping on, not because of who you weren't sleeping next to. Sometimes crashing on the couch is just the best thing ever; it is generally a comfort zone. When you think about bed, it's usually the place you go when you're tired, when you're done for the day. (Or to be with that significant other, but we won't get into that. xD )
Sometimes time apart can be good for both people. There's a song quote of a quote that I like since I can't remember the actual quote it is quoted from. Sorry if that was confusing. "They say that fondness makes the heart grow fonder, or stronger, I can't quite remember anyways." When you spend time apart, you usually enjoy the time you have together more. It is generally in our nature to want what we can't have more than to want what we do have.
Another reason for you getting more accomplished may be because she wasn't there to occupy you, and that doesn't have to be in any sexual way. Think about what you normally do when she is around; do you spend a lot of time together? Also, you may have been working harder to subconsciously set aside the fact that she wasn't there.
But that's all just my opinion. ;D
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