She was out of control.

The apartment was dark by the time she'd arrived home, and the switch was flipped as she entered, the shadows of the room disappearing instantly.

Yet, despite light touching nearly every corner of the room, everything remained dark in Ursula's mind. The woman wearily shut the door behind her and she advanced further into her apartment, her expression unreadable.

What had come over her back there? Why had she even been in the grocery store to begin with?

The plastic bag with the ruined ice cream was discarded in the sink, left to be forgotten until the morning. No alcohol nor chocolate could fill the void dwelling within her at this point, and she glanced up to stare at the bathroom door across the room.

She couldn't go in there, not this time. Her fear was too great of what she would see in the mirror when her orange eyes looked to stare into her reflection. The reflection that would look back at her guiltily, knowing what was going on in her mind, silently judging her for thinking such thoughts.

Her emotions were out of control, but where was the stopping point?

Dragging her feet against the carpet, the twenty-two year old made her way over to the sofa and slumped down against it, avoiding gazing anywhere near the television on the off chance her reflection would be there, sitting and waiting to stare back.

It had started out innocently enough, as far as infatuations went. He was an older man, a powerful man. A man whose determination not only revived the power of the Negaverse, but who had the strength and motivation - no, dedication to collecting a handful of mere children and creating soldiers out of them. A new army, a new Negaverse.

She would die for him without hesitation. Being a lieutenant called for sacrifice if the need should arise, but would she do it because of her position, or would she do it because of her feelings?

Feelings, she thought bitterly to herself, goddamn feelings always getting in the way.

Ursula was overemotional in every sense of the word. Her emotions helped push her dedication to her job, but also were her biggest flaw. Emotions got in the way of too many thoughts, too many decisions. If she continued going down the path she was headed, her emotions were going to get the better of her. And then where would that put her?

Her head fell into her hands and she cradled her face in her palms.

How did a person cut off all emotional ties? How did they stop feeling the way they did towards others they held close to them? Charonite was strong enough to do so, obviously, so why couldn't she? What was stopping her?

Her eyes glanced away, and fell upon the reflection staring back at her from the television. It stared, she stared, and both sets of eyes closed at the same time, her head once again falling into her hands.

She was going to have to figure this out and figure it out fast before something worse than the minor explosion that happened tonight could occur again.

God help her, she had to conquer these emotions.