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would you... |
leave him |
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42% |
[ 31 ] |
try to explain |
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49% |
[ 36 ] |
ignore it |
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8% |
[ 6 ] |
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Total Votes : 73 |
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 7:10 pm
im going out with this guy, he's awesome and all, but he is absolutly against anything that has anything to do with homosexuality. he's said its a chemical imbalance in the brain, amongst other things. we argue alot about it and he KNOWS that i'm bi. what am i supposed to do?!?!?!?! i dont want to lose him, but he wont get a clue and shut up about it. he says that if im proud that what he says wont bother me. how do i make him understand without getting him mad at me?
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:07 pm
No clue on what toyou can do. Usually I'll say what feel the need to say to them. Then just keep away from them unless they approach me, then I'll say something else to them. If I went out with a guy who was like that I'd probably dump him or something. After awhile I get tired of arguing with someone who's not going to change their mind.
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:59 pm
He needs to know that being that way (gay, bi, or lesbian) is no way a chemical or physical or mental disorder of any kind. You are born whichever way you are and if he doesn't accept it, he's not worth it. There is no way to change it, really.
My boyfriend wants to add something:
Ah, Redford Blade here, and I'd like to remind my beloved Roselite that there are many places where she and I disagree, and that dumping someone for a difference of opinion isn't always the best idea.
My experience has been that it is better to avoid the discussion where possible, and to drop it quickly if it comes up. This takes work from both you and your boyfriend, since he has to try to keep his opinions to himself, and both of you will need to avoid mentioning the question of sexuality. I'd suggest telling him that your thoughts on the matter will not change, no matter how often he talks about it, and that the best thing to do would be to just avoid the subject. I know it sounds almost like giving in, but hey, thats what we have to do sometime. If he still doesn't get the message, he may be a real problem.
I understand that this is a hard subject to avoid, especially if he decides to be a jerk about it (like if you have homosexual friends), or just from the media, but hopefully he will be willing to work on his attitude.
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 10:53 pm
 Try to explain it to him best you can, don't get mad at him, just stay nice. If he gets mad at you, you could stay calm and ask why he's angry at you. The part where he said that it shouldn't bother you because you're proud is wrong. He's your boyfriend, you care about him, as well as his opinions. This will bother you a lot and that is normal. I hope all will go well and you'll be alright

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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 11:28 pm
If he doesn't respect you enough to understand that what he says does bother you, then he is not good enough for you. From what you wrote, I gather that he acts as though he's right about the matter, hands down. That is unfair and more than a little rude; he's not considering your feelings.
Tell him that what he says bothers you. If he persists, then you really don't matter to him, so he shouldn't matter to you.
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:59 am
xx_bloody_goodbyes_xx im going out with this guy, he's awesome and all, but he is absolutly against anything that has anything to do with homosexuality. he's said its a chemical imbalance in the brain, amongst other things. we argue alot about it and he KNOWS that i'm bi. what am i supposed to do?!?!?!?! i dont want to lose him, but he wont get a clue and shut up about it. he says that if im proud that what he says wont bother me. how do i make him understand without getting him mad at me? sweatdrop unfortunately i don't know what to tell you that could help but talk to him see if he truely loves you cause from what he says and how you say he acts it looks like it will end harsh and well don't want you to go suicidal or anything. but if i were you talk to him find out if he is willing to accept homosexuality and well how you live you bi life and if he won't then well you might have to leave him to someone who is willing to understand
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 9:13 am
Well,, everyone pretty much said it.. but ..
If he can't except it and love you for who you are then he isn't worth it and thats not love. He should love all of you not some of you! Take care! gl! heart
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 5:03 pm
thanks for the advice everyone...i really hope i can make this work. its all very appreciated exclaim
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:04 am
I have the same problem with my dad, i found out the other day that he is a huge homophobe...i was rather upset when i found out, as he knows that one of my best mates is gay. And i have so many other friends who are bi...and so am i...
I just keep teling him there is nothing wrong with it. Explain that its still loveing someone...good luck with your boyfriend!
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 9:02 pm
Whether you should dump him or not depends on how strongly you feel about the issue. If it's going to be a source of never ending conflict in your relationship then it might be a good idea to dump him. If you can just agree to disagree and if he respects your opinion even if he doesn't feel the same way, and doesn't look at you differently for what you beleive then it could probably work.
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 12:22 pm
Blimey he is an idiot. if my girlfriend was bi i would love it. i would ask to watch he he. nah but explain to him, if he keeps anoying you however just face him with the subject and tell him that if he has a problem with you being bi that you will leave him. If he loves you he will make compromises and come to accpet it/ keep cool
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 7:55 pm
xx_bloody_goodbyes_xx im going out with this guy, he's awesome and all, but he is absolutly against anything that has anything to do with homosexuality. he's said its a chemical imbalance in the brain, amongst other things. we argue alot about it and he KNOWS that i'm bi. what am i supposed to do?!?!?!?! i dont want to lose him, but he wont get a clue and shut up about it. he says that if im proud that what he says wont bother me. how do i make him understand without getting him mad at me? I don't want to sound mean but you need to let go, even though it's hard (i know). If he won't except you for who you are then he's not worth it, and he doesn't truly love you. I know for a fact that letting go of someone you love isn't be any means easy, but there are other people out there that will love you for who you are. Seriously. It's a lesson I need to learn myself.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 7:47 pm
xx_bloody_goodbyes_xx im going out with this guy, he's awesome and all, but he is absolutly against anything that has anything to do with homosexuality. he's said its a chemical imbalance in the brain, amongst other things. we argue alot about it and he KNOWS that i'm bi. what am i supposed to do?!?!?!?! i dont want to lose him, but he wont get a clue and shut up about it. he says that if im proud that what he says wont bother me. how do i make him understand without getting him mad at me? If he's aware of your sexual orientation, it sounds like he's using his preconceptions and the excuse that "if (you're) proud that what he says wont bother (you)" as an excuse to attack you (either because you're bi and he's uncomfortable with that, or because he harbours a general lack of respect for you). If he's not usually a belligerent fool, and he doesn't have any strong personal reasons for being so strongly homophobic (i.e. negative sexual experiences, assaults or other negative associations with homosexuality), then you should be able to reason with him about the matter. If you know that he respects you, try citing the case of your own sexualty to counter his arguments. And finally, if he's often belligerent about other topics of discussion, is very hypocritical or doesn't show respect for your point of view, you can do better. There are plenty of reasons for a guy to stay with his gf, and a lot have nothing to do with love.
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 6:57 am
There's not much left to say, but try to talk to him when you're not arguing, it's often tempting to yell out the "advice" when you're mad, but you really shouldn't. Try to both be in an o.k. mood when you talk to him, and don't be confrontational. Good luck! whee biggrin
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 8:12 pm
i dont think that youll like my advice...
i say leave him. if he does not agree with part of you then this will become a constant bother and will cause major problems later on in life...
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