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[Q] Sailor Ophiuchus, Senshi of Nurses [MARKPLZ!]

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Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer

PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 3:46 pm


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School Kid Character 2
Hopefully he'll start out as a human char and somehow become a senshi.
FS Writing Comps Entered: Pg 6 Post 5
P6 13 Post 7 Pg 32 post 4

Sailor Ophiuchus, Senshi of Nurses!

What kind of Service?: He's a Nurse! Unbelievable uncharacteristic ,but that's what he is!

Name: Everett "Shin" Aarons
Nickname: Shin -its all he'll go by and if your not calling him by it then he may as well not be hearing you speak-
Ethnicity: American Mutt
School: Meadowview HighSchool
Tidbit: Shin has his own moral code that is often in opposition with the morals society has laid out for people. He determines on his own what he feels is right and wrong, even if others don't agree with him.

Age: 15
Birthday: March 9th
Sign: Pisces
Blood Type: O +
Gemstone: Opal
Preferences: Straight as a frigging arrow, shin likes big tall girls. Sadly he's to shrimpy to be too appealing. Even if he cant get a lady he does love em! Shin's a total push over when it comes to relationships, he blushes easily when talking about certain subjects, and is perfectly willing to follow around at his girls heels like a love struck puppy.

Fave Food: Pizza, brownies, anything he can fit in his mouth. Shin love love loves to eat, eat everything and anything, and he's always willing to try new foods. He has a sweet tooth though, and adores most meats. Steaks, burgers, bratwurst.
Hated Food: Any meat served raw, shin wont touch sushi, always gets anything he eats well done or charred.
Hobbies: Bird watching, swimming, climbing trees, fishing. Shin likes being in the outdoors, unless hes eating or sleeping he normally doesn't like being inside.
Thing he hates: Shin..hates...running..running and spiders. The poor kid is terrified of spiders for some reason.
Things he loves: Animals, shin loves animals, dogs cats birds fish even.

Explaining the spiders! -possible other flaw-: Fear of spiders - Why? - At some point when shin was little he accidentally got himself locked in a closet full of old coats and wolf spiders. He spent three hours there being crawled over and bitten by the nasty little things and has ever sine then been terrified of spiders.
Terrified in the Arachnophobia type of way, he does not ever want to hear, see, touch, or say the word spider ever again. Upon coming into contact with spiders his response is to either flee in fear or completely freeze up until the spider is killed or moves off on its own.
Thinking of spiders tends to give him panic attacks, and he's had more then one nightmare about the evil little beasts.

Area of study: Basically being a goof off student, he's got the brains to do more, but he doesn't bother to use them, he views school as a bit of a waste and would rather spend his time elsewhere.


Why Meadowview?:
Shin seems like one of those troubled types, so why the heck isn't he being carted off to Hillworth! His foster parents, because of the drive and the money, and because they feel he'd do better in a less strict environment they encourage shin to go to meadowview, even if he doesn't do amazingly in his classes at least he's going to school. They worry that if they did send him to hillworth it would totally crush his spirit and they couldn't stand to see that. Neither could shin for that matter...

Virtues: Empathetic, Sweet Natured, Oblivious, A Guard dog,

He's a joker, Bubbly, a bit selfless sometimes -so long as he doesn't have to share his food-. Tenacious.

Oblivious: With shin unless your being totally blunt he sometimes doesn't get it, will often miss the big picture on things. Often is oblivious to dangers or others feelings.

Sweet Natured: Hes got a tough skin and loves joke around make snarky little comments, it takes a lot to tick him off. The guy almost has no temper and easily forgives others if they've offended him. He often doesn't even notice, and he's learned to get over other people picking on him for his height and his attitude.

Guard Dog: What does tick him off is when he spies people messing with others. He figures he can take care of and handle himself if any trouble comes along, shin likes to play guard dog and stick up for others. He's eager to run to the rescue and dive in head first without thinking it over. Not always the brightest move, but very sweet.

Empathetic: He is a caring guy and he loves animals, loves being in a social setting and hanging out with others. He can be very comforting and is very attentive to how other people are feeling.

Shin is 'Not' courageous and brave even if he might 'look' it, running into a situation without considering the consequences is rash and stupid. And of course the guy feels fear, he just often doesn't act on that feeling so concerned for others that he sometimes forgets to think about himself.

Flaws: Challenged, Lazy, Ignorant/Sarcastic, a Glutton.
Definitely a poor listener...

Sarcastic/Ignorant: He's sarcastic, snide, borderline rude, and is always off doing things on his own, his own way. He doesn't like being bossed around or told what to do. His mouth gets him into trouble with the things he says, 'its like there's no filter there!' Sometimes the poor guy just doesn't know when to shut up. Shin doesn't listen well, often refuses to take what may be 'good' advice. The boy seems to have a knack for trouble, both causing it and getting into it.

Challenged: Shin is very adventurous and has a wild spirit, and even though he loves to relax and lounge around -what he does best during school- He also adores getting out and exploring. Climbing trees or swimming or finding neat new places. Shin enjoys challenging himself, not necessarily being challenged by others, but presenting himself with a problem and forcing himself to meet up to his own standards.
This can often lead to him being reckless or making rather stupid decisions just to satisfy his own urges.

Lazy: Unless its something he's personally interested in he wont bother with it, is very lazy when it comes to his school and home life, doesn't enjoy doing 'honest' work. He'd rather find an easy way out in life then bother to sit through classes.

Glutton: Shin is also a glutton when it comes to food, though the boy is pretty much starving half the time, he has a quick metabolism and never seems to gain weight despite how he eats. If hes not outdoors exploring or inside taking a nap then chances are you'll find him raiding someones kitchen.

Background and Family:
Shin: Shin was probably born in a Washington DC type area, abandoned somewhere cold and quiet to die until he was found by a small group of homeless people. A small mixed group of adults and children, who together through help agency's and what little work they could scrounge up often made just enough to feed themselves on but never enough to properly afford an apartment or a home with.

Shin spends the first few years of his life growing up with his vagabond family, living under bridges and getting by however they can. Until the state decides to do a re-homing 'clean up the poor from their city' type of project. Shin is taken from the group and their all relocated, cleaned up, put into government care etc.

Shin doesn't know (Or care) who his real parents are. For as long as he cares to remember he's been getting bounced around through foster homes, some better then others but all still the same to him, none ever felt like a real home. At least until now, an unexpected 15th birthday present the boy finds that theres a family looking to adopt and out of all the odds they end up choosing him! They've got a nice house, a cool back yard, a dog no other kids, and they seem to make a decent living.
Maybe its because he's older now and little kids are no fun to raise, either way he's real eager to stay where he is, and do anything to make his 'parents' happy. Even if it means going to meadowview. Don't get him wrong he loves the co-ed school! He just wishes the uniforms were better, its not even the shorts that bug him, its the crazy neckerchief top thing...gah bows!

Shins name, as odd as it is, is one of his own choosing. Growing up he's always been very stubborn and individualistic. He likes to do thing's his own way, and no matter what name people seem to give him he always ends up rejecting it and insisting on being called 'Shin' (honestly the why and how of it is a long and silly story, he just likes it) Legally, and so far as his adoption certificate is concerned, his name is Everett Aarons, so far as he's concerned he'll always be Shin.


Family Life The Aarons
Dimitri Aarons and Amanda Aarons(Her maiden name is Simons)
A pair of typical middle aged middle class Americans. Amanda works as a secretary at Global tech, one of those places that's kinda like 'Go Daddy', they help you with your computer problems and all that general stuff.
Dimitri runs a temp agency, finding work for people who've lost their jobs or are out of work, hes kinda a good samaritan type.

They work long hour's on the weekdays and make sure to always have free time off on the weekends. For the last six years Amanda and Dimitri have been trying to have a child via any means possible so far all treatments and trials have failed, they realize their getting older..and hey maybe a baby wouldn't be the best thing for them? The decision is made to find an older child, because though they dearly would like a baby they don't have all the time in the world for one. Getting babies from adoption agency's are expensive, and its an extremely long waiting list. An older child just seemed best...and so enters shin..

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

User Image (Another meeki school design -my rp chars yay!-)
Take away the dark purple eyes/bruising -It's an older version I did-
He's usually got a big friendly smile on his face, usually semi happy looking.
Hes a shortie! Shin is short for a boy maybe only 5'5, and while it may be cute he often wishes he were taller. Shin is always wearing green, always wearing long sleeved shirts or green tank tops and jeans. He doesn't have much style. The boy is often wearing a hoodie or a sweater, not just because he gets cold easily, but also because he likes having that layer of protection and a hood to hide his face under.

Eyes: Bright golden eyes.

Hair: He's a blondie! Dirty short blond hair (mixes of browns and gold) Messy fluffy ruffled blond hair with bangs that hang down into his eyes a bit.

Face: Not really angled, he has that boyish look to his face, really just very normal features.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If he were to become a Senshi:

Sailor Ophiuchus, Senshi of Nurses

Definition of Service:
Service

The constellation:
Ophiuchus

Interesting Tidbit: I noticed how the original greek symbol for Ophiuchus -a man of healing who attempted to spare mankind from death- Transformed into the modern medical img. Instead of one snake swirling around a staff, it became a pair of snakes swirling around a winged staff, the ball in the center of the wings represents the earth/world, and the two snakes are often seen staring at the world, or with their jaws open devouring it. -as the snake was the original, -in the greek story of ophiuchus- healer with his herbs.

Henshin: Sailor Ophiuchus X Power Make up!

Sphere: Two snakes around a winged staff - The sign of healing Other Medic Sign
One snake around a plain staff -
The Sign of Orphiuchus

Challenge: Time to Heal the Darkness! or Prepare to get Served!

Attacks:
Attack 1 for Senshi - Bandage Barrage!
Shin fires off magical sticky bandages at his opponent, gluing them to the spot/sticking them to the spot until they manage to rip them off...etc
Or! -not sure which one to go with-
Angry Aiding!
Shin pelts his opponents with magical +'s (Like the hospital sign). Warning, may cause welts and bruising.

Attack 1a: Helping hand!
Shins not always a team player, but he's eager to help. This is a booster attack in which if his fellow senshi is down he can help them out. Involves minor healing/power boosting ability's.

Attack 2 for Beyond senshi -Service with a Smile! blaugh
Basically its a taunt attack, in which shin surrounds his opponent with a torrent of smiling laughing faces (The faces of course are simply illusions, a trick of the light). The point of this is to either enrage or discourage the opponent.
An enraged person can become unbalanced and usually when people fail to keep their temper under wraps they get sloppy with their attacks.
Or to discourage and taunt the opponent with enough laughter that they become humiliated and flee the scene!

Attack 2a: Ultimate Service!
With this attack shin can redirect an opponents attack from one of his teammates onto any other object. Or redirect the attack onto himself, taking the hit in place of the other person.


Fuku: Main color - Dark green, Secondary color - Other shade of green/yellow/ or just green and white.

Collar -- Normal sailor collar, green with stripes.
Bow -- Yep! A belt bow!
Bodice -- A white long sleeved shirt.
Sleeves -- Yep! Long sleeves! The bottoms of the sleeves would be green.
Brooch -- Plain for the first incarnation, but maybe a bright yellow/red smiley face or a + for the next.
Bottoms -- A skort! Green of course(Everyone knows them right? A skirt attached to shorts)
Tiara -- Nope, just a general Senshi Circlet with a little opal gemstone in it (the ones that go around their foreheads etc)
Choker -- A hoodie with a choker! (Like an asassins hood -can be either over his head or down- and a choker that holds it all together. )
Shoes -- Long senshi boots.
Gloves -- Sure, dark green normal gloves.
Accessories -- Green anklet circlets, (Like if you put bracelets around his boots so that their visible)

Other possible outfit Ideas -that need fleshing because really I stuck at outfitting idea things-

Some kind of healer/male nurse looking outfit?
Or something fun and frilly lawls!- Like this except Dark green and senshified!! Greeen!


PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:51 pm


You asked for crit, so here it is!

I have to admit - one of the first things I read on this page alarmed me, and that's where you spoke about the kind of service and then told us "it doesn't seem to fit very well." When I say it alarmed me, I mean my first thought was "does that mean you're just sticking this trait in because you feel like it?" Regardless of whether or not that is the case, you don't want to tell the reader that it is in such a negative fashion! Remember that questing isn't just about making a character, but it's also about presenting it. Whether or not you think that the course you've taken makes sense (and if you don't, you really ought to find some way that it does), you shouldn't tell your readers that unless you're hoping for them to tell you something better.

Still on the same subject, though - I actually like the nurse take on service for him, because it doesn't seem to suit him well. Contradictions in characters, when crafted and nursed, can bring a lot of depth into them, and a troubled kid like Shin could have a lot of interesting stuff to bring to a medical "class", so to speak. Particularly, by tapping into his empathetic nature, you can exploit the hell out of a connection between two things that don't seem to go together and make a very solid character.

One other thing I need to ask - why the name "Shin?" That's a very unusual name for an American-grown boy, and it strikes of Korean or Japanese when he clearly, well, isn't. If he's a foster home kid, then he still must have the name his birth parents gave him - or failing that, gotten a name somewhere along the way by someone who would be trying to set him up to be as normal as possible when he has a difficult future.

I like his virtues, but I'm not so sure about his flaws. To be honest, they feel a little weak the way that they're written right now - most of them aren't things that the character would have to work through or be confronted with, but are just traits that might come up but won't have any real effect on the character's successes or failures. Other than perhaps Sarcastic/Ignorant, I don't see many of these getting in his way significantly. I feel like Lazy could be expanded to impact more RP-relevant parts of his life, such as how much he'd be willing to do to make or keep a friendship; Challenged could likewise be expanded to suggest how much he cares about other people's problems when stacked up against his own.

And because I'm a terrible person, I have a senshi challenge suggestion. It's gonna hurt, I warn you, but....

"Prepare to get served!"

OKAY THAT IS ALL oh god I'm so sorry I couldn't help it once a pun gets into my head, I can't let it go unspoken :c But seriously, there's a lot I like about this character and its concept! A couple things that could use polishing, but all in all, it's headed somewhere interesting. Good luck!

Arrien



The Space Cauldron

Captain

PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:38 pm


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This is a REALLY HARD SPHERE to pull off. You have some great crit here, so use it. smile
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:22 pm


Fixed up and ready to mark!

Since service is a Hard Sphere..I changed it to Senshi of Nurses..if thats not allowed then I'd love to keep it senshi of service.

Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer


Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer

PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:10 am


Ready to be Marked!
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