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 Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:42 pm
"Remember when you used to be a rascal?"
The question was spoken slowly in a smooth beat in a woman's voice that was unfamiliar to everyone. The question seemed like it was more of a challange, making the crowd think of the last time they really cut loose. Making them remember. "Remember when you used to be a rascal?" The lights don't fade, they don't change at all, as five-foot-six Mardy Wilkes Booth steps through the curtain for the very first time. "Flourescent Adolescents" by the Brithish band, Arctic Monkeys, only barely blocks out the sound of her rapturing heart. Nerves, mind, body are all racing. They are going at speeds that just forced her to take the next step, and the one after that. Soon enough Mardy was able to fight off every small voice in her head that shouted at the top of their lungs, telling her to run up the ramp screaming and crying, she was in the ring.
Mardy Wilkes-Booth, not a descendent of the infamous John Wilkes-Booth, just a victim of pure irony. Her maiden name was Wilkes and the man she accidently married on her way through Las Vegas held the surname Booth. It was this man who was responsible for her being here tonight, and any other night. Mardy was not born into a family of wrestling gods, not even a family of wrestling fans. Mardy could not even remember what family she was born into, or where they lived.
Posed calmly in the center of the ring, Mardy called for a stool to be brought into the ring with her. She batted her long eyelashes and thanked the willing stagehand who set a stool up for her.
As she sat down Mardy brought her feet up to the highest rung of the stool so that her lap was flat. This was when she closed her different colored eyes, took in a a large breath, exhaled and lifted the microphone to address the patient crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I promise I will not take up much of your time tonight. I am sure that you bought tickets not to see me up here on this stool, but to see some good ol' blood and guts. Am I right?"
The crowd mustered up a weak cheer that disappointed Mardy deeply.
"Well if that is the case and you folks really just want to hear my beautiful voice.."
The crowd broke her off with a small fit of boos but Mardy was the one with the microphone, and therefore Mardy made the decisions.
"No, no, no. Really guys, it's fine! Now, I am no teacher but I am more than happy to give you guys a little lesson on my favorite topic of them all- Drug Use. So kiddies, pay attention. If you don't you'll regret it when the day comes where you need to roll a blunt and do not know how. You will thank me for this some day."
This really jogged some emotion out of the small crowd. The parents of the so called 'Kiddies' were shocked and enraged! While those who appreciate the a fine joint on those rough days where you just need one, laughed at this "New Chick" as they called her. This nickname was a step up from her last one, "Who-the-hell-is-that?". Mardy used the time the crowd spent cheering or jeering to pull some items from the pocket of her red zip-up sweater. The first item was a light, nothing really flashy just a plain blue lighter. The second item she set on her lap but quickly decided this need to be brought closer to the camera for the viewers at home to really see. She hopped off the stool and held the second item to the camera that was with her in the ring.
"Ya see that? It's nice, isn't it?" Ladies and gentlemen I present to you lesson number one: 'Apple Pipes'. That is A-P-P-L-E space P-I-P-E-S for those who are taking notes. I suggest you do take notes as there MAY or may not be, but probably will be, a quiz on this next week. This one I already made while I was backstage. Someone told me the match before was going to run a little long, turns out it ended up just sucking but either way I grew to be impatient back there. To make an apple pipe you just stick a pen that you can blow, or suck, air through right into the apple at a small angle. Like so.."
She rotated the plump, red apple around so that the pen was visible from all angles. Mardy even demonstrated how to blow through the pen whole quickly.
"Next you carve a bowl out of the side where your pen came out, just imagine a cereal bowl if you need to. We're almost finished, next you need to fill the bowl with, yes, weed. This is called 'packing a bowl'."
Mardy set the apple on the stool and pulled out a small bag of pot. She began packing the apple full and she did so with speed and grace.
"Once you have it filled to your liking you proceed to my favorite part, smoking it!"
The lighter sparked to life then burned the pot that was in Mardys homemade pipe, the pot-smokers out in the crowd continued cheering straight through the packing process while mothers covered their childrens eyes. She sucked it up all in three huge hits, slowly exhaling after each one. On the final hit Mardy coughed and some of the crowd cheered! The smoke floated up into the rafters, only visible in the bright lights of the arena. As she finished, she pulled the pen out of the apple, dumped the ashes out onto the ring, and threw the apple as far back into the stands as she could. Mardy laughed as she picked the microphone up from stool.
"I didn't even remember ever putting this down! PERSONALLY I like to say that the old apple-a-day-doctor-mumble-jumble-bullshit that your parents always threatened you with to keep you from eating good things like, Oreo's. MMMMmmmm Oreo's. Anyway, anyway, anyway. That doctor apple thing is WRONG. What they should say is 'An apple a day will certainly make you a pothead! It does not, I repeat, DOES NOT have to rhyme!"
Now it was clear that Mardy Wilkes-Booth was out there making fans and making enemies all in this one promo. She was certainly a 'love her or hate her' sort of person.
"Anyway, anyway, anyway, it is now time for lesson numeral DOSeydos!" She made up whatever else she was saying as she felt like it apparently. Just to make clear the fans knew she meant 'lesson number two' she held up two fingers, each being her middle one. "My name is Mardy Wilkes-Booth."
"And finally.." She slumped down onto the second rope. "And finally, in wrestling just as in thrill rides and drug use, I will always get higher."
Mardy slunk down to the canvas completely and sprawled onto the floor around the ring. She began heading in one direction, stopped, turned around and began heading off in the other direction. Both of those directions being the wrong ones, she gave up. "Now, will one of you stage bitches be a dear and help me back to somewhere?"
Two stagehands rushed up to her, each taking an elbow and escorted her back up the ramp and through the curtain. Her newfound fans cheered as her new enemies began thinking of the complaint letters they would be writing later tonight from their homes. Either way, Mardy Wilkes-Booth caused a stir and they wanted to see what she would do next.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:48 pm
(For those Speeders taking notes: This is how you cut a promo, welcome to EEW)
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:02 pm
((Wow! Thank-you! 3nodding ))
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:48 pm
((Agreed. Let's hope this is also a bisexual or lesbian character.... twisted ))
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:31 pm
((Nope, sorry! But she has got a shady past so I guess we'll never really know.))
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:13 pm
Gooood... Gooood.... *Rubs hands manically*
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:50 pm
TheXFactor Gooood... Gooood.... *Rubs hands manically* Thanks?
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