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 Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:22 pm
the day before yesterday i had a talk with my boyfriend and he just loathes my bullet vibrator. he says hes so used to girls hes been with not introducing toys into sex. i asked him why does he get all angry about it and wants to stomp on the toy. he told me none of the girls say hey can we add a toy here or there during sex. i happen to like using toys but my issue is only one guy ive ever been with has used them. the others i feel are just close minded that only care about putting their p***s in a v****a. and care about their pleasure. i just wanted to yell at him. some times when we have sex its like hes in a rush. why i do not know ive told him take his time. he knows he'll get to c** but i rarely get to like yesterday i came 4 times usually i don't at all. he also says it make him feel like if im using a toy that hes not able to make me c** we have been together almost 2yrs now. its driving me nuts!. its like when you tell someone something like five times but they don't put the words into motion.
i cried during sex that has never happened and i don't know why. have u ever cried during sex?
something weird i was laying next to my guy and he was all sweaty his deodorant failed and i could smell his manly musk... it doesnt stink to me lol but i was wondering why does when the pubic area sweats it doesnt smell the same why is that?
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:27 pm
That does make him sound narrow minded and possibly selfish and sexist too. But every post you have made makes him sound that way. If there has been no improvement with him, why are you still with him? Don't you think you deserve a guy who respects women and is at least willing to learn about them?
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:32 pm
cause i love him and i want to stuff his brain with sexual knowledge gonk
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:49 pm
mikomihino_25_2 cause i love him and i want to stuff his brain with sexual knowledge gonk But it does not sound like he's willing to learn or even to listen to you. From other posts you have made, it sounds like he sees you more as a plaything or possession rather than a person. If that is the case, I think you really need to think about whether it's healthy for you to stay. Love isn't always enough to make a relationship healthy or even good. mikomihino_25_2 have u ever cried during sex? No mikomihino_25_2 something weird i was laying next to my guy and he was all sweaty his deodorant failed and i could smell his manly musk... it doesnt stink to me lol but i was wondering why does when the pubic area sweats it doesnt smell the same why is that? The smell is from bacteria. I believe different parts of the body harbor different kinds of bacteria.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 1:51 pm
LorienLlewellyn mikomihino_25_2 cause i love him and i want to stuff his brain with sexual knowledge gonk But it does not sound like he's willing to learn or even to listen to you. From other posts you have made, it sounds like he sees you more as a plaything or possession rather than a person. If that is the case, I think you really need to think about whether it's healthy for you to stay. Love isn't always enough to make a relationship healthy or even good. mikomihino_25_2 have u ever cried during sex? No mikomihino_25_2 something weird i was laying next to my guy and he was all sweaty his deodorant failed and i could smell his manly musk... it doesnt stink to me lol but i was wondering why does when the pubic area sweats it doesnt smell the same why is that? The smell is from bacteria. I believe different parts of the body harbor different kinds of bacteria. i'd say possession he'd go nuts if i even was alone with another guy.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:24 pm
mikomihino_25_2 LorienLlewellyn mikomihino_25_2 cause i love him and i want to stuff his brain with sexual knowledge gonk But it does not sound like he's willing to learn or even to listen to you. From other posts you have made, it sounds like he sees you more as a plaything or possession rather than a person. If that is the case, I think you really need to think about whether it's healthy for you to stay. Love isn't always enough to make a relationship healthy or even good. mikomihino_25_2 have u ever cried during sex? No mikomihino_25_2 something weird i was laying next to my guy and he was all sweaty his deodorant failed and i could smell his manly musk... it doesnt stink to me lol but i was wondering why does when the pubic area sweats it doesnt smell the same why is that? The smell is from bacteria. I believe different parts of the body harbor different kinds of bacteria. i'd say possession he'd go nuts if i even was alone with another guy. That's not healthy. To not allow you to be with another guy alone, whether it be a friend or someone else, is... stupid, to say the least. It's possession and it's controlling and it's wrong. He has -no- right to tell you who you can and can't spend your time with, and if he really is that jealous, then that to me is a really big red flag he's got some issues. As for crying during sex, I haven't cried during sex but I've cried after, for reasons I didn't know. Probably just overwhelmed with other stresses going on at the time in my life, and sex triggered some emotions. I'd recommend taking a look at this: http://www.homestudycredit.com/courses/contentCR/secCR16.htmlYou deserve so much better than the guy you're with now. Even if you don't want to leave him, please think about what we've said. We're being a little pushy because we worry about you and your well-being. Staying with someone who's possessive and controlling isn't healthy, and is potentially unsafe.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:53 pm
That is very close-minded of him..some guys are afraid the girl will prefer the toy over him, which isn't really the case.
Crying during sex can be a few things..maybe you are stressed out. Other reasons can be the sex feels so good, you want to cry. Crying isn't always a bad thing, I cried once during sex and I felt great. Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe your hormones are a little crazy sometimes when you have sex, which can cause you to feel the need to cry.
As Lorien said...it doesn't sounds like you're with the right guy..all he seems to do is hurt you from your posts :/ I know two years is a lot, but if this is really all he does...its really not a good relationship. Think about having a long talk with him, or maybe its time to say goodbye.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:07 pm
I am not condoning what he has done to you because he does sound to be selfish in this particular situation. Not condoning it at all, but perhaps the thought of introducing a toy into sex would maybe make him feel like he was not enough for you and he took it like that. but he still sounds infinitely selfish unfortunately and I do agree with the others in the thread.
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:03 am
Sauvie I am not condoning what he has done to you because he does sound to be selfish in this particular situation. Not condoning it at all, but perhaps the thought of introducing a toy into sex would maybe make him feel like he was not enough for you and he took it like that. but he still sounds infinitely selfish unfortunately and I do agree with the others in the thread. It's not like I don't see where her boyfriend is coming from either - I'm aware of that misconception. For some women it may be an issue, and for some others they can get off without the vibrator. Some women need both a partner and a vibrator to be able to finish, and others don't need a vibrator at all. It depends on the woman. But it's the attitude of her boyfriend that has me concerned. If a woman does want to introduct a vibrator into her sex life with her partner (or vice versa), then it's up to them to communicate as a couple whether that is ok or not. Some people might be comfortable with it, others might not be. However the stuff her boyfriend's spouting off is wrong and misleading - how does he know "none of the girls say "hey can we add a toy here or there during sex?" He can't and doesn't speak for all women. I for one have suggested using a toy with my boyfriend, and we have a vibrator that we've used a few times (it's not a very good one though). I'm sure there's lots of other people in this guild who use or who have used a toy with their partner.
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:14 am
Nikolita Sauvie I am not condoning what he has done to you because he does sound to be selfish in this particular situation. Not condoning it at all, but perhaps the thought of introducing a toy into sex would maybe make him feel like he was not enough for you and he took it like that. but he still sounds infinitely selfish unfortunately and I do agree with the others in the thread. It's not like I don't see where her boyfriend is coming from either - I'm aware of that misconception. For some women it may be an issue, and for some others they can get off without the vibrator. Some women need both a partner and a vibrator to be able to finish, and others don't need a vibrator at all. It depends on the woman. But it's the attitude of her boyfriend that has me concerned. If a woman does want to introduct a vibrator into her sex life with her partner (or vice versa), then it's up to them to communicate as a couple whether that is ok or not. Some people might be comfortable with it, others might not be. However the stuff her boyfriend's spouting off is wrong and misleading - how does he know "none of the girls say "hey can we add a toy here or there during sex?" He can't and doesn't speak for all women. I for one have suggested using a toy with my boyfriend, and we have a vibrator that we've used a few times (it's not a very good one though). I'm sure there's lots of other people in this guild who use or who have used a toy with their partner. No I realise that the attitude is the main point here, I am just saying that it is possible to see where he is coming from. him acting like an immature or closed minded person when it comes to talking about something like introducing toys into a physical relationship is obviously a horrible thing especially when it comes down to how much he means to mikomihino and that her bringing it up alone has seemingly infuriated him. Understanding basic concepts is one thing but understanding people as far as this thread goes is a completely different thing.... I understand where he is coming from, but I think it is unanimous in opinion in this thread that just closing off and trying to forget or push the idea away from the girl who loves him is nothing but selfish and closed minded.
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:43 am
Sauvie Nikolita Sauvie I am not condoning what he has done to you because he does sound to be selfish in this particular situation. Not condoning it at all, but perhaps the thought of introducing a toy into sex would maybe make him feel like he was not enough for you and he took it like that. but he still sounds infinitely selfish unfortunately and I do agree with the others in the thread. It's not like I don't see where her boyfriend is coming from either - I'm aware of that misconception. For some women it may be an issue, and for some others they can get off without the vibrator. Some women need both a partner and a vibrator to be able to finish, and others don't need a vibrator at all. It depends on the woman. But it's the attitude of her boyfriend that has me concerned. If a woman does want to introduct a vibrator into her sex life with her partner (or vice versa), then it's up to them to communicate as a couple whether that is ok or not. Some people might be comfortable with it, others might not be. However the stuff her boyfriend's spouting off is wrong and misleading - how does he know "none of the girls say "hey can we add a toy here or there during sex?" He can't and doesn't speak for all women. I for one have suggested using a toy with my boyfriend, and we have a vibrator that we've used a few times (it's not a very good one though). I'm sure there's lots of other people in this guild who use or who have used a toy with their partner. No I realise that the attitude is the main point here, I am just saying that it is possible to see where he is coming from. him acting like an immature or closed minded person when it comes to talking about something like introducing toys into a physical relationship is obviously a horrible thing especially when it comes down to how much he means to mikomihino and that her bringing it up alone has seemingly infuriated him. Understanding basic concepts is one thing but understanding people as far as this thread goes is a completely different thing.... I understand where he is coming from, but I think it is unanimous in opinion in this thread that just closing off and trying to forget or push the idea away from the girl who loves him is nothing but selfish and closed minded. Ah ok, I see what you mean now. Sorry, I was up til 4am last night finishing my lit review for school and I was pretty brain dead. xd Then yes, I agree with you completely.
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Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 9:02 am
he should let you use it . its not like you are doing it to him
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:32 pm
While there are things in what you wrote that indicate that he's selfish, I don't think not wanting sex toys is one of them. I think the way he's telling you about it is rude, but some people like different things than others. I personally find oral sex really gross and don't want to do it. Many people (I'd say most) disagree with me on that, but I don't want to get in a situation where I am being FORCED to do it. This is the same type of thing. If a person thinks sex toys are not good for sex, then leave it alone.
That said, I agree with other people here that this guy seems like a jerk, because the stuff he's saying and doing is not really a proper way to communicate to your girlfriend about sex or anything else. He sounds rude and immature.
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:03 am
It could be that he is jealous of it. He feels that he, alone, is not enough to make you c**. But he wants to prove that he can make you c** by himself. I'm not sure, but it could be part of his pride too. But Derimed is right too, it could be a perference, just cope or make an agreement. Like "every so often we can use it."
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