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Turntables: Honestly, I'd get some cheap-o Numarks and just change out the Cartridges & styli.
Dj'ing: I've got a gig doing that on halloween, and the night before at the school dance. It's fun.
Weird Party Experiences: Don't fall asleep with your shoes on.
Dicks: Depends on whether you mean people who are, or the appendage my compadre.
How ******** cool You Are: You're pretty damn cool from this angle, but it might just be the lighting.

I don't think Godspeed would make the lineup, unless it was one of their crazy guitar parts. I could probably make on of those dancy enough.

It would probably be more along the lines of free form electro-type stuff, with some huge bass drum action and random vinyl mixed in, plus some effects. I DON'T plan on just showing up and throwing down random tracks while scantily scratching. That would be terrible. This is a year or two down the line, though. I really don't know anything as far as performance yet. I do have a few friends that actually know what they're doing, so I'll have to find them.

THERE'S AN EVIL VIRUS

Everyone I know swears by 1200s. Whatever you get, make sure they're direct drive.