|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:56 am
Name: Daeluin
Age: 18
Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: heterosexual
Craft: n/a
Rank: candidate
History: Born into a traveling band of traders, Daeluin had a large family, to say the least. Her mother and father both specialized in fine cloth and material, and occasionally dabbled with some more extravagant items- metal work, and such. Most of her siblings, of which she had seven, held various positions within the caravan. Two of the seven were crafters, one was a journeywoman healer and the other an apprentice weaver. But, the majority of Daeluin's family remained close. She never wanted for company; there were always a group of children around to play with. Also traveling with the traders was a senior journeyman harper, who taught the children basic writing and math skills, along with the teaching songs.
Daeluin excelled at the harper's training, and at the age of eight, Malkor asked Daeluin's parents to accept extra training for their daughter. She was made an apprentice harper, of sorts. Malkor encouraged the girl in all her ventures, and she thrived! Her penmanship was impeccable, and Daeluin had the infinite patience necessary to copy over records and reports. The young woman also enjoyed teaching- one of the most important aspects of being a harper.
But at the age of 15, Malkor was recalled to the Harper Hall. Daeluin, unfortunately, was prevented from accompanying him by a sickness at the time. Daeluin resumed her normal, quiet, day-to-day life with the traders. The next few turns passed by uneventfully. It was an infinite cycle of traveling, trading, and teaching.Daeluin grew bored. Which is why when, passing through High Reaches Weyr, the young woman as asked to stay. There happened to be a clutch on the sands, and she was asked to stand! She seized the opportunity eagerly! So now she resides at High Reaches Weyr, patiently waiting for the clutch to hatch. She is hopeful, but also makes sure to remind herself that she has a family to which she can return at any time.
Appearance: Even at the young age of 18, Daeluin already looks the part of a grown, mature woman. She is handsome rather than beautiful, but her stoic exterior often renders her unattractive. Daeluin is a tall young woman, less than six feet but taller than five and a half. She weighs slightly above average, due mostly to well-toned muscle rather than fat. Her arms and legs are long and supple, and Daeluin has grown into her body, carrying herself with a certain grace and fluidity of movement. Daeluin's eyes are big and dark brown chocolate spiced with warm, rich nutmeg; wide and always alert, but endless and never betraying even a hint of emotion. Her face is slender, framed by dark hair cut short- but enough left in the back for a tail tied with a white ribbon. The young woman's skin is similar to her eyes; dark, dark brown- a mix of heritage, and excessive time spent outdoors.
Personality: Daeluin is a strong individual, with a very strong sense of responsibility. Within her trading caravan, she was the one given the task to teach the children their basic skills- reading, writing, math, etc. She took her job very seriously, and excelled at it. Anything Daeluin puts her mind to, she can accomplish with great enthusiasm. Daeluin is infinitely grateful when given an important responsibility, for example, her job within the traders' society. She takes her responsibilities very seriously, and will not allow anything to distract her until she has completed them to the best of her ability.
Both in and outside of the classroom, Daeluin is a woman easy to get along with. She always has a relaxed feeling about her; like nothing in the world could surprise her. Daeluin laughs easily, and quite often. She enjoys spending time with her students, but since coming to the Weyr, she has relied more and more on finding and making new friends within her peers. While Daeluin is not a stranger to fun, she will not let it interfere with anything she deems more important- be it chores, a lesson, etc. She has no problem reprimanding someone if they do something that strikes her as wrong- which is one of Daeluin's faults. She sometimes crosses the line with this, and rebukes a peer or superior when it is not her place to do so. But, Daeluin cannot refrain from opening her mouth if she sees something wrong or immoral.
Other:
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:40 am
Looking good for the most part! Just a couple of things <3
- To be considered an official Harper apprentice she would have had to go to the Harper Hall and trained there under a Master. She could definitely have been a Harper help in her band of traders, helping give lessons and tutor the children, for example, but she wouldn't be considered an apprentice by the Hall.
- I'm a little curious as to why her social skills are lacking, when you've made her out to be a pretty good teacher. Part of teaching and being a good teacher is being able to interact on a rather personal level with the students. I'm not sure show she'd be able to be a good Harper or a teacher if she couldn't get along socially with anyone, since the majority of that craft deals a lot with being sociable. Same thing with the stoic and stony bit. If you could elaborate on your final paragraph that would be excellent.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:53 am
I tweaked that bit a little, and removed her craft. Not sure if it'll work like this, but I'm hoping it works for youuuu~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:05 pm
Khryssie I tweaked that bit a little, and removed her craft. Not sure if it'll work like this, but I'm hoping it works for youuuu~ EDIT- 3:05pm: I made her a little less shy and serious, a bit more friendly. =]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dragonriders of Pern Shop Captain
|
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:32 pm
Personality looks good!
However there are still some bits about the craft that need changing. I've highlighted the bits in red that you need to fix. Fix those, and you'll be good to go. <3
If you have any further questions, let me know.
- Chibi
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:57 am
Done~ I could have sworn I took out that bit about the hall... Maybe I highlighted it, but never pressed 'backspace' xDDD But, its done now! <33
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
