|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:28 am
Okays, Im 19 and will be 20 in January, Im with a girl who is 17 and will be 18 in Febuary, she has a baby girl of 7 weeks old, and its not my baby ((Even though I wish she was!!)). Im wanting advice on the situation because its putting alot of stress on her and her family and Im afraid of it endangering our relationship, or distracting her from being the mother that she needs to be for her daughter.
The baby daddys name is Garret, and he is like 23-24, not completely sure, but they had been dating for like 3 years and her parents had a restraining order put on him a while back but they eventually came around to letting them see each other again and didnt mention anything of the restraining order anymore, well while Garret was seeing Ashley (The mothers name) he was also married to another woman and has 2 girls with her!! well he was bouncing back and forth cheating on both of them. Somewhere along the line one of his daughters ((This is before Adalynn the 7 week old baby, probably about a year or so ago)) said he was molesting her, she was 7 years old I beleive well he had to go through court and everything and they said he wasnt to be allowed around younger females and things, but he still seen his two daughters with his wife even though he wasnt supposed to. Now that Ashley has had her baby girl he stayed with her through the hospital and whenever she got to bring the baby home he was there but after that he kinda dissapeared, well they had worked out an agreement that he would pay her so much every 2 weeks to help take care of Adalynn (The now 7 week old baby) well he never sent her or gave her any of the money and he called wanting to see Adalynn by himself!! and Ashley told him she wasnt comfortable with it because the baby hasnt been able to spend time with garret or to get used to him, well they argued forever and eventually they came to an agreement that they would meet and stay so that he could see her for a few hours, but he has yet to give her any money to help take care of Adalynn, and her family is having to struggle to take care of their own things, and Im helping to take care of Adalynn now, but is there anything that her family can do legally? Like press charges for child support? But she is still 17 and thier afraid of DHR getting involved and taking the baby away since she wont be an "adult" until febuary!! plus with her parents letting them see each other even after they had a restraining order placed on him. And I wouldnt have a problem with him seeing Adalynn but from everything she has told me about him it doesnt show any kind of qualities of a father or someone that I would want my baby around, I just see him as popping in and out of her life causing her confusion and pain and grief and Adalynn doesnt need that and neither dos Ashley or her family!! Im really protective and this is why Im looking for answers is because Ashley is too kind hearted and will continue to let him hurt her emotionally and one day its going to start hurting her daughter and I dont want to see that >.<
Sorry this was so long I just wanted to give some background info so that you can see how things are and what all the elements are, but if anyone has had a situation like this or knows anything legally that can be done so that they can get some help please reply!! Thanks
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:14 pm
It's really hard to say, since I'm not familiar with American law. Perhaps her family, or the baby's mother at least, should be talking to a lawyer. She should be able to get child support from him at least, no? If not now, then when she turns 18 in February.
Lorien gave a better answer. 3nodding
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:16 pm
She needs to take him to court to get child support.
The baby will not get taken away just because she is under 18. Girls under 18 have babies all the time. The babies don't get taken away just because of their mother's age.
The baby would only get taken away if she could not care for it properly. But Social Services really isn't picky. If she is doing the absolute bare minimum as far as keeping the baby safe goes, it's unlikely they would take the baby away. They really don't like to take babies away unless there is strong evidence of abuse or neglect.
The court would also help them decide when the father gets to see the baby. If all you say is true, they might say he never gets to see her. Or that he only gets to see her if other people are around. It sounds like the less involvement he has, the better. So I'd recommend making sure the court knows about the previous case of suspected child abuse.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:13 pm
LorienLlewellyn She needs to take him to court to get child support. The baby will not get taken away just because she is under 18. Girls under 18 have babies all the time. The babies don't get taken away just because of their mother's age. The baby would only get taken away if she could not care for it properly. But Social Services really isn't picky. If she is doing the absolute bare minimum as far as keeping the baby safe goes, it's unlikely they would take the baby away. They really don't like to take babies away unless there is strong evidence of abuse or neglect. The court would also help them decide when the father gets to see the baby. If all you say is true, they might say he never gets to see her. Or that he only gets to see her if other people are around. It sounds like the less involvement he has, the better. So I'd recommend making sure the court knows about the previous case of suspected child abuse. Thank you ^_^ and thank you Nikolita for your oppinion as well, Im just wanting some oppinions of what I should do. Now I have one more question, how should I go about talking to her about this? Or bringing it up to her, because it stresses her out and it is a touchy subject as it would be for any mother, so any ideas on how to bring it up? Or should I talk with her mother and father and let them know of the options and things? Im just needing opinions plz ^^ You guys are great!! mrgreen
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:35 pm
I'd just come right out and talk about it I guess. Let her know you got some more information, show her this page if you want. It might not be terribly pleasant to think about going to court, but it shouldn't really be a touchy subject for you two either.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:38 pm
LorienLlewellyn I'd just come right out and talk about it I guess. Let her know you got some more information, show her this page if you want. It might not be terribly pleasant to think about going to court, but it shouldn't really be a touchy subject for you two either. Alright... Ill talk to her about it next time we get some time together and Ill see what she thinks, Im just not wanting her to feel like Im trying to take control of her or the babies life, Im just concerned about him messing up her happiness and making things harder than they already are in todays society
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:51 pm
Damien_The_Lost LorienLlewellyn I'd just come right out and talk about it I guess. Let her know you got some more information, show her this page if you want. It might not be terribly pleasant to think about going to court, but it shouldn't really be a touchy subject for you two either. Alright... Ill talk to her about it next time we get some time together and Ill see what she thinks, Im just not wanting her to feel like Im trying to take control of her or the babies life, Im just concerned about him messing up her happiness and making things harder than they already are in todays society Your intentions are noble, but it'll be her decision in the end. Hopefully she'll be able to put her own feelings aside and do what's best for her daughter. smile
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|