Welcome to Gaia! ::

The weather did not reflect his inner turmoil at all, it was clear and sunny if not for a few clouds marring the horizon.
Lithuania wished it would rain. There could be no colors or sun in his world when all this was happening to him, the sky had to be a lie, as everything else was. Estonia had to do the grim task of delivering the letter in his hands, the piece of parchment that now was in his own two hands. He read it over and over again in disbelief.

"He has to be kidding.. It has to be a bad joke." He knew it wasn't though. Things were getting serious all over Europe. There was the issue of Klaipeda, and now he was being picked apart by his old ally. He could remember what started the poor diplomatic relations between them, at least an important one. The Żeligowski's Mutiny, a sham of one, led by a Polish General. He couldn't believe it, his own native in league with Józef Piłsudski, Polish chief of state.

"What do they want from me?" Lithuania crumpled the letter, unable to tear it up like he wanted to and throw it into the fire. He left to inform Smetona. There was no way his small army could fight against the Poles at this point. He knew he had to consent to renewing their "Normal" diplomatic relations.

After many hours of tear stained letters being crumpled and piled into the trash, soon spilling over he had his letter ready, written in Lithuanian with a secondary attachment in Polish as a small act of vengeance. As if Poland was secondary to Lithuania.

"The Republic of Poland,

Though I disagree with you about Vilnius, I will reestablish what we once had in trade and relations. Please accept our apologies.

Sincerely, The Republic of Lithuania."

It was folded and sent as soon as possible heeding to the time limit Poland set.

Lithuania was cracking under the strain, wondering what he could do to recover the Capital, his heart, that he seemed to be losing so quickly. It was under Polish control now as part of the agreement no matter much Lithuania refused to believe it.

He pushed the paperwork aside on his desk and lay his head on the cool cherry wood desk. He felt weaker, tired. Emotionally and physically drained, not to mention politically and economically.. but wasn't it the same thing for him? Before he even realized it his eyes had fallen shut and he was away in the land of Nod.

Lithuania woke at the sound of his phone ringing, he picked up the receiver putting it to his ear. He responded before he even realized who it was on the other line.

"..Speaking? Who's this..?"

He wiped the sleep from his eyes and checked the clock seeing he'd fallen asleep for two hours, felt like more from the stiffness in his neck.

"Ah, right. Poland."

Lithuania frowned a bit in distaste. He couldn't say he hated him, he only felt very hurt and betrayed. He sat up a little straighter in his chair and cleared the sleepiness from his voice.

"I'm not wrong though, you just leave me no choice. Vilnius was always mine, just because they speak Polish, it doesn't make them any less Lithuanian."

He took the crumpled and folded letter from his drawer, re-reading the insults, he was sure Poland didn't even know how rude he was. He was just being careless, like he is now.. with his Capital. He reminded himself to be more polite, he had to if he was to normalize their diplomatic status.

"I'm sorry. Really Feliks, I am.. I want things the way they were. How are you..?"

He tried a quick subject change, a tactic he often relied on. Thought it didn't always work, he hoped the blond was still easily distracted enough.

( No problem. xD Can't do much monologue when we're interacting. :3 )

Lithuania could sense the tension in the silence. He wondered how Poland looked right now, maybe as tired as tense as he was. Without his heart though, he found himself caring a little less.

"...It's my capital Poland, no matter what you say, you're tearing off a piece of me just like them."

He narrowed his eyes at the wall imagining it was the nation on the phone and clenched his hand tighter on the phone.

"I don't want another Commonwealth, it won't work. I need to be my own person and no longer in someone's shadow.."

Lithuania heard a crash in the background, he'd over stepped a line. He couldn't help it. He bit back a cruel retort finding it a bit childish anyway.

"....I'm sorry."

He bit into his lip, hard. Horrible guilt welled up inside of him thinking maybe Poland deserved whatever punishment awaited him.

"It fell apart remember? How can it possibly work? I want to be my own nation. My people want their freedom. I don't want to be Polish..."

Lithuania leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

"Maybe not, I can't tell right now.."

Lithuania stood up gripping the phone tightly and fighting the urge to just scream into the phone and hang up. His office suddenly felt small, like a cage. He looked out the window at impossibly blue skies. Instead of rain he prayed for help now, if only his brothers were strong enough..

"We weren't strong enough to hold it together, what makes you think we could now? You don't have to say it Poland. They don't see me, they only see You. You may as well have done everything yourself! I-..." Lithuania's mouth went dry at Poland's last comment. "...Better to speak Russian... Than German."

Tears rolled down his cheeks, it was all Feliks' fault that he even had to live with Russia. He curled up under the desk and covered the mouthpiece so Poland couldn't hear him crying.

It took a few moments for Lithuania to speak without his voice cracking, he half listened to Poland as he spoke venomous words.

"It's your fault. You'll see.. You'll wish you hadn't done this Poland, you're so stupid you can't even see. I won't be able to help you. I-I'll get Vilnius back and I'll stand on my own."

Lithuania wiped his cheeks and set his jaw. He had to be strong, if he was going to remain independent. He crawled out of the desk and sat in his chair again.

"Germany.. offered me a deal against you, but I refused. His boss won't stop, he'll just keep asking for more. You must know that.. He's practically at your door! Do you think the others will help you? Everyone's too wrapped up in themselves to even see much of what's going on or even care.. He's not happy, Germany was pressured too much after the war. "