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It was a dark and stormy day, I was standing before the judge for a crime i didn't commit. Lennons, who was also accused of the same crime (yep, i somehow implicated her into it), and Rockney was my lawyor.

" Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" asked the Baliff.

" Is this a trick question?" I asked.

" Just say yes," replied the Baliff, i could tell she was pissed.

" Are you pissed?" I asked.

" Order in the court," said the Judge.

" Did you just bang that gavel?" I asked. I wondered how, with the technological advances we had, it is okay to hit a hammer on a desk.

" Uh, that is my job," said the Judge, turning away.

" How, with the technological advances we had, it is okay to hit a hammer on a desk?" I asked.

" Mr. ARA, your time might be meaningless, but the juries' isn't," said the judge, his chin sloshing around on his face," Now, do you swear to tell the truth?"

" Objection!" shout Rockney.

" Overruled," I said," I am allowing the truth, just this once. I don't want a repeat of that time i went fishing with Optimus Prime." I could tell the crowd was getting rusty, my (and Rockney's) whole defense strategy work on the judge being a girl, but, since it was a man (i think, those might have been rolls of fat and not p***s), but we agreed to try it anyway.

"Uh, can i put my beef in your taco?" I asked the Judge.

" What the hell?" the judge sat back, snickers arose from the jury, Rockney promptly ate them all, lennons took some asprin.

" You, me, your place," I said, I could tell this was working.

" Life without parole, get this pervert out of my face!" said the judge.

" Fu-" I started, but i was dragged off to the insanity ward.

" So, how about you and me?" Rockney asked that random lady who types what you say during the hearings.

you and me were charged for blowing up the guild
I asked the judge if s/he would would meet me out back
Rockney got a date with the finest 'court writer person' ever