|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:56 am
 Musketeer was patrolling half heartedly, that was if he even had any heart left at all. Since the day he had watched Necrala leave he felt cold inside and out, the nights were sleeplessly spent wandering. Food held no appeal anymore, he ate what he could but it was all like ash in his mouth. He watched his children and felt a soft ache in his chest. Was this what it came to then? A life lived halfway?
He loved his family, and they in turn loved him, but in the mornings when the couples woke smiling, or the pups unbundled from one another and the teens sprinted away...he was left alone. Uncle Musketeer, a lone father...unable to keep a mate by his side.
He slowly sat down his head dropping weakly, had he brought this fate on himself truly? No, he knew that he had tried in every way to make things work, it was Necrala who had refused and fought him at every turn.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:14 pm
But she kept coming back. And she soon realized that was the kicker. She'd have to make the decision. Teetering on the edge of this was emotionally draining for her, den or woods. She couldn't have one and the other. Just like another thing. That damned wolf. She knew she hated him, but why did she seem to crave his company, need to know if he was still about? Necrala hadn't had been able to accept it for a long time, it had gone against everything she had ever known and strived for. But in the end, was it right?
Her throating catching momentarily, the femme growled, standing at the packland's border. This was a waste of her time and effort, he wouldn't come. Another thought pushed down her doubt as she lifted her maw and called for him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:35 pm
Oh now he was going mad, that was the only explination...his heart squeezed in his chest. His ears pricked until every sound was crystal clear, but the only sound that mattered was her call. A call he had waited for night after night, week after week, as the seasons changed and his children grew. His paws had already started to move before his poor mind could even choose to stay in place or go, of course there was never really a choice. He still loved her, still stupidly, foolishly, unexplainably loved her.
He could imagine his brothers mild frown, Alas gently shaking her head and looking at him with concern, Moranna's soft smile and nod of encouragment. In the end though all he could picture in his mind was Necrala, the moon touching her pelt and making it stand out a pale swirling shape, her pleased voice from nights passed and forgotten...and denied. Strange how he was the only one to grasp and remember how happy they might have been.
Then his mind slowly blanked, the trees stood in sharp contrast as he came upon her. His eyes trailed over her form trying to assess if she was alright. He stopped only a few feet away from her wary after all the pain she had caused him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:44 pm
And as he came she felt the desire to run more appealing, her mind going blank. Dammit she swore in her mind, why did he have to come so quickly? There he stood looking her over, and Necrala knew she wasn't ready for this. Whatever explanation she had planned in her mind seemed foolish and pup-like, couldn't be presented well enough. But she had to do something, else make her seem the fool more. The silence was palpable between them.
So the cadaver-furred femme set to pacing, back and forth in front of him. Grey eyes kept to the ground, the wolf murmured under her breath as she thought of a way to say it without losing all dignity. But was that not the point, to make herself open? Vulnerable? Words she previously despised she was expected to embrace. Necrala was not certain anymore, but appeared more a sight than anything else surely.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:49 pm
Musketeer might have expected words of anyone but Necrala, he no longer expected anything from the female, she was as changing as the tides. He slowly lowered himself to lay down his silver gaze fixed on her as she paced.
Finally he couldn't bear the silence he murmured softly his look concerned. "Are you alright?" She looked fine, but of course she might have needed him for something, else why would she have called? Did she think he wouldn't come? No, he was a fool, he would always come to her call.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:57 pm
It was a moment after he had spoken that Necrala noticed him once more, transfixing him with steely eyes as she faced him. A string of curses brewed low in her throat and with certain difficulty she swallowed them down. Of course I'm alright, you stupid wolf. Do I not look fine? Which, asking of any other wolf would result in an obvious 'yes!'. But as foolish as it was asking a dead-looking wolf that question was not expecting a snapped answer.
"Yes." The wolf muttered with certain difficulty through her teeth, speaking slowly to keep the word from coming out sharp. Damn, this would be much harder than she had expected.
"I..." Clamping her maw shut and ears pulled back Necrala returned to her pacing, unaware of the confusion it was causing poor Musketeer. To hell with poor Musketeer, she was too confused as it was.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:09 pm
Oh this was going to be pleasant, he could see the fire in her eyes, not a happy fire, but a low simmering rage. Why was it always directed at him he wondered idly? Perhaps her joy was derived of his pain, that was an explination he might be able to grasp. Somehow he doubted that was it though, Necrala was many things but not sadistic.
He on the other hand lay still and quiet wondering if he wasn't perhaps a little masochistic to keep returning for more of her cruel abuse. He held back a sigh as he watched her pace his muscles slowly tensing, each pace across his vision made them wind and coil tighter, tighter, tighter...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:24 pm
The repetitive motion calmed her a little, allowed her to think in at least brief spurts as she walked back and forth and back. But her window of opportunity was closing and fast, not only for telling him, but allowing herself to do it. She felt the air between them, stagnant and awkward. It was a now or never moment.
Stopping once more in front of him, ears still sewn back against gangrene fur, she faced Musketeer. She felt her body stiffen slightly, legs lock into place as if she was preparing for battle. Oh! If only, she thought to herself. "What.." She muttered out, a hint of a growl hidden in quavering words. She swore to herself in her mind, to buck up. What coward was she? Simple things for other wolves were paramount for her. "What is it like to love?" She managed to spit out, more a statement in tone than a question.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:00 pm
Musketer almost jumped when she finally spoke, her words were sharp, but for once she had him dumbfounded. She was asking him? Well there was one word to sum up what loving her had been like - painful. Yet, in truth not JUST painful, he had so many moments where she made him laugh and smile with her dry wit, the nights they had shared together had been beautiful, tender. Best of all their children, that was the best gift she had ever given him even if she wouldn't acknowledge it.
"It's...I'm sure it's beautiful, when your loved back. A sense of peace and security in always having someone there for you." He remembered how happy his brother looked with his mate.
"I-My love for you...that's different, you won't accept it, so it's much much harder..." and painful, but he wouldn't say that, he didn't want to blame her. The idea of protecting her feelings was almost laughable, yet there he was trying none the less. His eyes were dark with the pain now though, the effort it took to stay still where he was.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:15 pm
Ears pricked forwards the female kept her ground, still awkwardly stiff as if ready to run if confrontation arose. She naturally assumed it would come, based on previous 'talks' with the silver wolf. Necrala analyzed his answers, brows furrowed lightly as she watched him speak. Damn the beast he never gave him straight answers. She wasn't looking to know about his love and his feelings, just the general idea. In short, painful and confusing would've been a better description. Something that told her that her gnawing sensation in her chest was not just heartburn or indigestion.
That she was here for a reason, not just to waste time aching and being confused. Impatient so a correct diagnosis, she gave a soft growl. "But what is it like? Is it good, bad, confusing, clear, tiring, fearsome. Not some point when you've reached commitment." She retrained herself just barely for snarling, it wasn't as if she could ask any clearer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 5:12 pm
He looked at her mildly curious yet concerned, was she in love? With someone else? He felt a flare in his chest and he had to struggle not to snarl, who knew that he could feel...jealousy like this. Who knew she might feel love...yet he controlled himself his face a mask of pain.
"It's all of those things Necrala, love is wild, good, bad, confusing, tiring, beautiful, fearsome, magical, painful...like a wildfire, it can both destroy the land and cleanse it. I'm sorry I can't give you a more precise answer, but love isn't precise, it's wild." He looked at her wonderingly hopefully she understood.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 5:27 pm
Had she not still her vengeful pride she would've squirmed under his almost scrutinizing gaze. Necrala had felt the gaze before, harder in tone, though not from him. From her childhood she recalled flashes of quick judgment, no understanding of their whispered words to her mother, emptying whatever space she came towards. And now, was this wolf so daft he didn't understand? Would she have to degrade herself further and spell it out, just so he could lie there looking pitiful?
But she knew it would have to come to such, because the feeling of whatever shame was but not washed over her as she looked at him. Because she felt all the things he had said, but they all felt bad to her. "Dammit" Necrala growled once more under her breath. Ears pulled back once more as she began her worried pacing routine.
"I want to try. I don't want to be confused." She said softly, ashamed of the state the words put her in. They still came out in growled tones though, teeth grinding against each other.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 5:33 pm
Now he was getting worried, she still looked so angry, what was wrong? He frowned slightly then and his heart leapt, could it be maybe she was? He tamped the thought down quickly, no no it was foolish to hope like that. Still the way she paced and then her next words made him slowly sit up.
"Try? What has you confused?" He certainly knew she was confusing the heck of out him. But the word TRY sounded so nice, yes, if only she would try then maybe they could salvage things, and somehow end their lives in happiness instead of the bitter loneliness that stretched before them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 5:47 pm
The fur on the back of her neck pricked as she listened to him. There she was, degrading herself and doing the equivalent of pouring her heart out(the lab results have yet to come back proving she indeed has one) to him, and he sits there, daft as a nail. How could he possibly misinterpret that?
Unless the spineless jerk had been playing her the entire time. She could believe it. He expected her to grovel at his feet some more before he 'understood' her and managed an answer. The brute was just toying with her, all this time. That's why he had continued to harass her long after, even when he was gone he had found some way to wriggle into her head like a worm and confuse her. Anger came second, after an uncomfortable dropping feel, like missing a stair.
Growling, Necrala started closer to him, convinced now of what he had done. "You know perfectly well, wolf."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:32 pm
Oh now she was angry again, he frowned slightly and tilted his head deciding to attempt to be direct. No doubt she was going to get even more angry, but honestly he had to try something.
"Necrala, are you trying to say you love me?" He couldn't help but keep the spark of hope out of his weary voice. His mind cringed at the words that had come out, what kind of an idiot was he? Did he LIKE the pain, clearly otherwise he would have run the other way when he heard her call instead of racing straight at her.
He slowly lowered his head peering at her wondering what was going through her mind. I still love her...just as much... he sighed at the thought, how hopeless.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
