Just You

All I can think of
is him reaching for me.
No sounds.
No influences.
Just us.
What would he think if I told him?
What if I told him everything?
Would he even care?
I don't know what I'd do.
It really doesn't matter though.
The past is the past.
And the present is the present.
There's no use going back to what wasn't
and what could have been.
Nothing ever happened.
So when the truth comes out,
there's nothing to tell.
No words to speak.
No breaths to take.
Just air.
Let's stop for a minute and think this over.
My mind's losing control.
I don't know how to explain.
You broke my heart
without even meaning to.
You said you didn't care,
but you still say you're sorry.
How does that work?
The way you led me on,
and tortured me everyday.
You made me believe in you,
especially when no one else would.
Now you're nothing to me.
And you're friends are all on my side.
They don't mean a thing to you.
But you meant everything to me.
I dreamed of you.
Cared about you.
Shared words with you.
And I get nothing.
I guess I just don't understand.
You played with my heart.
Toyed with my emotions.
Let me think you were after me.
I see now
that they were just trying to warn me.
I never would have thought of that before.
You see what you do?
You destroyed everything you had going for you.
Made me do things I didn't want to do.
Controlled my addictions and set me free from them.
But now that you're gone,
I can't get enough.
You've killed what you created.
And all that time we spent together,
I can just imagine your eyes sparkling.
I know I'm not truly over you.
How could I be?
I feel lost without you,
even when you say you don't want me.
I want you.
I need you.
You just don't know how I feel.
This is how you made me.
I trusted you.
Gave your honesty life.
I know you.
I stand up for you still.
I can't forget you.
Why does this hurt so much.
With others I just thought of pain.
I knew if it ever went this way
I would definitely feel.
I said it would be hard to breathe.
Hard to think of anything else.
I knew I would want to lay down
and just cry.
Cry.
Cry.
Cry.
And that's all I did.
I let myself bleed.
This is what I get.
At the very least,
can't we just be friends?
That's all I need
to stay calm
and still belong.
Even if I'm not with you,
can't we still give us a chance?
You tricked me,
used me,
and shook me up.
I'm yours now.
Just wait and see.