I strutted into the courthouse knowing that i would come out victorious, for i practiced my roundhouse kicks with my blow-up doll...er, dummy. I was on top of my game.

" Life Sentence!" Moaned the Judge. The Baliff came up and dragged me away.

Wait, i bet your wondering why I am here. Well, you should have read Transform and What the Hell?, so suck it. Nah, i will tell you. It all started on a dark and stormy night and i had a court hearing to attend.

" Who are you?" I asked, sitting down.

" I am Officer Bailey," replied a tall dark man, sitting opposite to me.

" Not you, that fine peice of a** over there," I said, the woman glared at me.

" That is Miranda," He replied, I could tell he thought she was the shizz, too.

" Like the rights?" I asked, making a funny.

" ROTFLMAO!" sais the officer," No one has said that before, you truly are awesome."

" Awesome enough to not go to jail?" I asked with big puppy eyes.

" No," said Miranda, in a deep, manly, unsexy voice.

" s**t! you just sounded like a man!" I stared, she glared again.

" Well, now that that is out of the way," said Bailey.

" I am innocent," I said," there is no evidence."

" What about hese photos?" asked Miranda, handing over two pictures that showed me burning down the Guild. It was my turn to glare at Miranda.

" We also have a witness' statement," she said," it says ' I looked in awe as he tore his clothes off and burned down the Guild, the fires were immense' unquote." she smirked slightly.

" Lennons?" I asked.

" No," she said, locking away the report.

" Moving on," said Baily," there is still the matter of the raging fire that spread from the guild. Other members described it as a flaming canary being thrown at random crap."

" Why did you set fire to canaries?" asked Miranda.

" Don't judge me, you somewhat still sexy beast," I said," would you like a testicle?"

" Why I never!" yelled Miranda, standing up and walking out of the room.

" No, i mean of those bunny testicles, Rockney had a crate of them, i am sure he could dig one up for you," I said, but it was too late, she was on the phone with the DA, which i assumed meant Dong Assoicates, or something.

" Uh, well, i think that concludes our meeting," said Officer Bailey, escorting me out of the room.

" Nice meeting you," I say, then kicked Miranda in the crotch, her wig fell off and she squat over rithing in pain.

" I knew it!" I exclaimed," She's a man!"

" Life Sentence," Moaned the Judge.

" But why!" I screamed.

" Four acts of muder, three acts of tampering with evidence, and destruction of government property," The Judge left the room, probably to eat some more.

There I sat, lying in jail with a guy named Meat.