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 Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:42 am
[[Insight into Esper's personality. A history of his childhood, how he was raised in Japan and his slow road to 'recovery' prior to his return.]]
The term ‘seeing red’ is often coined when describe anger or the desire to complete annihilate another creature. The colour is associated with anger, danger or more accurately with uncontrollable passion. It frightens those who encounter it and on some occasions, may cause great suspicion and rest amongst those who take note of it. Years ago, the stallion hadn’t seen this colour so much as lived within it. His birth alongside his siblings had been turbulent and while he had been guarded and loved by his family they lacked the power to protect him from the unfortunate attentions of a malevolent spirit. No kind words and no loving embrace would erase what he had seen, heard and endured over the course of the first few years of his life. Regardless of where he roamed he would always be regarded with suspicion for the bloodied feathers that plagued the wings that should have been one of his greatest loves.
He had tried on many occasions as a small foal to tear them out. During his moments of clarity, in his moments of terror he would attempt to tug them from their places. However the spirits did not approve of this and ensured that as each feather grew back, the blood remained. They were a permanent reminder; they were the spirits’ way of ensuring that he would never have the gall to forget all the deeds he had done. Intentional or not those crimes had been weighted against him and from a young age he had carried a burden that few adults could bear. He had been made a martyr or so the saying went, a scapegoat for the crimes of another and yet not a single individual could forgive him (family excluded of course).
To make matters worse, as the years had progressed his deeds had grown worse and had chartered his descent into what could only be described as madness. His frenzied and overzealous nature was an indication of the violent tendencies that had been carefully groomed within him by the malevolent spirit who had taken refuge in his tiny form. Ah yes, this spirit had planned for great things when this foal came of age. It had strategies in place and patiently waited for the time that this foal would grow to the monstrous proportions of all the males within its bloodline.
In a manner of speaking some may have argued that this foal would have been better off leading a life of bloodshed, chaos and absolute madness... At least in this form he would not feel the bleak and desolate emotions. He would be fed by hatred, a lust for blood and ultimately death. He would revel in the pain of others and remain oblivious to the pain and suffering one might endure when guilt festered within and soiled the soul. Unfortunately there were those in the world that begged to differ and the spirits in this set of circumstances were inclined to agree. The malevolent spirit within the child could not be permitted to remain. He could not be allowed to strike fear into the hearts of more innocent victims and thus the doctor was called.
From beyond the sea in the lands of the rising sun, the guardian of this disturbed shrine heard their call. Foreign though their voices may have been, their song heralded a tragedy. Recalling the words of his mother and her prophecy, he turned his gaze to the west and answered their plea. At first he had sought out the spirit in the original source of the corruption, his own father. It had quickly become apparent that although this spirit had been present at some point only a trace remained. The story that his father told informed him of another possibility, the possibility that the spirit that had fled from him had found another host. Evidently this was the tragedy they spoke of.
The news was not well received.
The journey that the honourable Doctor had never thought he would have to undertake began and it was with great urgency that he journeyed to this foreign land. What awaited him there was not necessarily something he had anticipated. This new world was breathtaking in its own way, it had its own charm and yet there was a peculiar sense of foreboding. What awaited him there was not for the faint hearted.
Nevertheless his exploration was short lived, the lament of each spirit led him directly to his quarry and there he found the foal. The presence of the spirit was evident; the damage it had caused was undeniable and as unfortunately incurable. This didn’t mean that the child couldn’t receive some form of assistance; there would be counselling and careful exposure to new environments that would slowly but surely help him to recover. However, no medicine or softly spoken words would completely rid the foal of the conditioning he had received.
The doctor knew in this instance that there was no possible way of assisting him in this environment. The so-called cure that his family hoped for would require a complete change. The child was disturbed, traumatised and continuing to remain in these lands would do nothing for him. A decision was made and while it caused great upset among his family they conceded that in the given circumstances it was for the best that the child be removed from the Kawani. He was to be raised in the doctor’s native land, laden with a promise to his family that they would see him again when he was deemed fit. The doctor could never promise a sound mind but swore upon his own life that he would raise the foal as his own and in time would guide him home to see his family.
It was with this promise that both doctor and patient departed.
While life continued as normal for Azumoth’s family and his siblings built lives of their own, Esper was taken to Japan and under the ever watchful eyes and patient influence of his Great-Uncle; he began to recover...
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 6:11 am
[--Cruel Words--]
A little snippet...
"I wish you had never been born!"
He'd never completely recovered from the damage such those words had done. It certainly hadn't helped that he had been seperated from the culprit from a young age either. That rift had never healed and words of apology and acceptance had yet to be uttered even after all these years. Neither child had been given the choice to plead against this seperation though; it had been decided that it was healthier for Esper to have been taken to a foreign land to be treated. However, as the years drifted on it seemed that the division was becoming more and more apparent. Admittedly, the words had become numb to the stallion but they still remained a part of his core to this day.
On occasions, Azzinoth had attempted to explain his brother's behaviour to him. Time and time again, his great-uncle had done everything in his power to help Esper see that children unintentionally uttered cruel words. Children had no true understanding of the impact their words had on one another, and they never realised that their were consequences to their actions. In most families this would have been a juvenile and childish dispute but the same couldn't be said for this one. On the surface, the now adolescent stallion appeared to understand but in the deepest parts of his heart, doubt still remained.
...Nocturne had uttered those words with such feeling.
It had been that hatred that had ensured that the adolescent stallion did not crave his birthplace. Azzinoth had kept in contact with his parents (how, he remained unsure about) and frequently gave him updates on their health. Life in the Kawani continued without him and they seemed to be perfectly capable of enjoying the quality time they had together. They didn't need him and unsurprisingly, his brother's words were confirmed. The more he heard of his family and their good health, the less inclined he was to visit - after all he had no reason to return, it would be both cruel and rude to interrupt their now pristine lives.
With this in mind the stallion had plunged himself into his studies and his family became a mere fragment of his memory. He knew they were there, knew they were healthy but they were a different part of him. They didn't need him and he most certainly had no use for them.
He would carve his own path in life without their influence or their direction.
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:20 am
[--All Things in Equal Measure--]
A little snippet...
"Do not lose your temper!" His mentor had never been forgiving. The stallion was not abusive, he didn't go beyond what was absolutely necessary but he was often regarded as overly critical by the more delicate members of Soquili society. However, his firm hand and ever watchful eye were something that the adolescent male utterly adored. For one who rarely expressed emotion or appreciation, Esper thrived on the attention and the brutal regime that his mentor placed him under.
In his mentor's eyes there was no such thing as 'limits', if one reached their limit then they were weak and undeserving of his attention. Any soquili that was graced with his presence was considered to be of great ability and Esper was of no exception. That being said, any who were given his attention were worked to the bone and those who revealed themselves to be one of the weaker beings in society were promptly dismissed. It was this pressured environment and extensive training regime that the 'angelic' male had thrown himself into and with every session he seemed to improve. He didn't make staggering improvements as some might boast but he made steady progress. As a consequence he had received begruding respect, though this did not permit him any better treatment.
Now was of no exception...
The volatile blood had gotten the best of the angelical male that morning and in one of the sparring matches the taunts he had received had gone a little too far. In response to a jeer from his sparring partner (behaviour encouraged during their training) he had been goaded. In essence, in losing his temper the male had failed a test and was now subject to the punishment his sensei considered to be appropriate. Deep down he knew he shouldn't have done it and he definitely knew he had hit his partner too hard. He had demonstrated that he had lacked in discipline and consequently someone had gotten hurt. It was a vital breach in sparring conditions and should not have happened.
Rest assured it left a bitter taste in his mouth and with shoulders heaving, he flicked his scarlet eyes towards the elder stallion. His nerves were still riled, his temper slow to deflate but it was getting there. At his hooves his partner rested in what would be considered a 'recovery' position while he regained his own composure.
It was a sorry sight.
There was no glory to be had from this failure and he certainly wasn't in a position to boast. On the contrary, he was acutely aware of the butterflies in his stomach and the overwhelming guilt in his chest. He had known that his partner was being deliberately provocative, it was his job to be. They were trained not to respond to provocation in battle, it was to ensure they kept clear heads where others would fail and yet... Here he stood and here he failed.
Epicly.
He would be the first to admit that he had been in the wrong, he wasn't afraid to admit that he had made a mistake but the knowledge that he had slipped up hurt. He'd made so much progress and now...?
"I apologise," he murmured, his gaze lowering in submission. "I appreciate that these words have little meaning, I will accept whatever punishment you deem fitting," he finished. A few short words, but they seemed to be the ones that his sensei wanted to hear.
"Well said," his sensei spoke with a slight hint of approval, "But you know what must be done - the pain you have provided to your partner will be returned in equal measure." The Elder's brows lifted and he glanced towards the soquili that was now clambering to all fours once more. "I will say it again, Esper. You must never lose your temper, your partner is conditioned to take your blows... an innocent is not." He finished quietly.
Somewhere inside the adolescent male, something clenched in terror...
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:07 am
--THE FOLLOWING STORIES ARE A MORE IN DEPTH INSIGHT INTO THE EVENTS SURROUNDING ESPER'S CHILD HOOD, THEY WILL INCLUDE A NUMBER OF INDIVIDUALS AND TAKE THE FORM OF PROSE.--
-:Featured:-
Esper
Azzinoth
Penance
Azumoth
Kiyoshi Yukio
Rosalia
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:43 am
[--AZZINOTH--]
...The introductions... Three years ago I came to these lands, a single duty in mind. It was my sole purpose, my single reason for existing and those who had raised me had made no secret of this. My mother had born me with specific intentions within her mind, the day she had encountered the possessed stallion known as Kiyoshi Yukio, she had taken it upon herself to react in a manner that would ultimately save him and many others in the process. Her actions were for all intents and purposes, designed to be selfless and she held her term without complaint. When I was born she left me in the care of humans and it was here that I was raised – her choice to leave me in their care was deliberate of course as I would be subjected to their careful ministrations as a child while remaining in the presence of the tampered shrine that would ultimately lead to my so called destiny.
It was always assumed that my destiny would come to me, the elders I had spoken to in passing had informed me that in time I would face and silence a demon but in it’s arrogance it would face me directly. Alas, none could have anticipated that in a far off land this demonic spirit was subject to the tampering of the spirits in this mysterious province and it would not return whole. I remember that day clearly, the moment in which I silenced it’s shrieking cries only to discover that the disc that had sealed it tight within it’s tomb would not reform completely. Somewhere along the line it was apparent that the demonic soul had split and shattered, torn asunder by some mighty force that even I had no knowledge of. Unfortunately for me this also meant that the words of the elder were inaccurate, for the most part he had spoken the truth but at some point in time, a spirit or god-like entity had decided that this particular spirit and I would both be subject to a greater challenge.
I will spare the details but I can confirm that the journey towards this mysterious province was both arduous and riddled with complications – for example, have you ever attempted to gain passage on a boat without being taken captive? Truly, it is the work of the gods that I stand before you a free beast this day. Regardless I achieved my initial goal of reaching this province that I am now familiar with as the ‘Kawani’, the language baffled me of course but my duty was not to fit in so much as to locate and silence the remaining part of the spirit that had caused so much havoc. What awaited me was not something that I had bargained for – after all, who could ever look into the eyes of a child and realise that they had suffered far more than any being should ever have been subjected to?
It was to be my understanding that the foal before me was known as Esper; he had a disgruntled air about him and was much taller than most foals by comparison. There was a gleam in his eyes that did not profess to evil intentions but certainly an overzealous nature. From the start it was evident that he was a coiled spring and more importantly, he chose not to speak. Our connection was not as immediate as great scholars and authors would have hoped but his parents understood my intentions when I conversed with them. It was agreed that he would come with me on the condition that he would be cured – I will confess it now (though I dared not at the time) that I was unsure of how easy such mental traumas would be to cure, but on occasions even a physician is required to give a white lie.
If my excursion to the peculiar Kawani province had not been difficult before, one can only begin to imagine the skill required to bring a young child on the return journey. The negotiations between myself and foreign soquili were considerable, as for gaining passage on boats? Well, it is safe to say that this is another matter entirely – however, it was on this return journey that I was provided with valuable insight into the nature of my young patient. I had the rare opportunity to observe and assess his behaviour, mannerisms and the impact his experiences had had on his young mind. Let it be known now that my patient is an avid sleep talker and the murmurings of his troubled subconscious are certainly not for the delicate of heart...
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