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 Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:55 pm
Now, while the project might be slowed down due to a lack of participants, we can still manage to create a forum to set out the comic scripts, comment upon them, and fix all those little errors we might create in our wordsmithing.
Note that this place is only meant for the script itself, and discussion of said script. Other forums here can talk of other matters.
Now, what will follow thiss post will be a wonderously long post, with all the scripts, numbered by page, in their correct order, as created/edited by Starflyer and myself.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:56 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 1:57 pm
There. That should about cover things nicely, until we start writing, that is...
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:10 pm
:: is back from the dead/working a looong week ::
Whew... yay, finally a day off! Looking at the setting and what characters we have, I believe it would be good to start with showing off the town.
I'm decent at screenplay format, but since this is a comic, I suppose that's not completely necessary. So I shall do a paragraph style with character's dialog's starting from the left. If we are going from indoor to outdoor, then I suggest using a heading for the name of the location so the artist knows. I trust the directors can help us break down how many scenes per page will be used. CAPS for important details.
---
THE ANACHRON
From far off, you can see spires through the clouds with shadows of other steamships looming over the city below.
Large Air docks, working like clockwork cogs, tower over everything, waiting for arrivals and departures.
Closer in, we see a few of the airships coming in for a landing, including POLICE, and CIVILIAN crafts.
Suddenly, from between two of the airships, a PIRATE airship powers through.
An alarm suddenly goes off as the Pirate airship barely misses a collision with a departing civilian craft.
People milling about below including (insert characters here. We into all the main guild characters at this poiont), stop and stare.
A man (insert character) runs forward, worried.
MAN:"It wasn't suppose to be this soon!"
Meanwhile, the Pirate Vessel has docked.
AT THE DOCKING STATION
The Pirate captain, a tall, burley man with a dark, windburned complexion leans back in his seat and smiles.
His second mate, a scrawny, timid girl ventures forward.
SECOND MATE: "Captain, we've only been here for thirty seconds and already we have officers at our doors."
CAPTAIN: "They can come, but I will get what I came for."
The Captain gets up and heads through the ship. There's a humming sound from below. The Captain stops and listens.
CAPTAIN: "Girlie, this ship will run much better when we get those upgrades. Then no officer in all the winds will catch us!"
SECOND MATE: "But... but what about?"
The Captain shrugs her off and continues through the ship, a master piece crafted from wood and metal with delicate chrome and bronze details.
He reaches the doorway and slams it open, surprising half a dozen officers standing outside.
CAPTAIN: "GET ME (afore mentioned man)! My business is with him, then I'll be gone from your sights!"
----------
Ok, I started a bit of an intro. Just an idea. I had an idea to use Mylan for the Man who is giving the Capitan the ether engine part, cause with his split persona, that could be interesting.
Still working Jad in...
Thoughts, additions? SPI, feel free to continue. I like going back and forth with people. I can add onto this later too.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 8:40 pm
maybe the engine part could be the wrong one needed and Jad has it?
He could be parked really close too...
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:43 pm
SPI -14 maybe the engine part could be the wrong one needed and Jad has it? He could be parked really close too... ... WIN <3 *Note: I'm using characters now. If I'm wrong... kick me. I just tried looking for info on characters and found... little. I'm making a threat on THIS forum for Characters... n'... yeah. =< I might use Psycho Bunnyfire's character for the Captian... just cause. Oh, SPI. Idea. Let's make the Pirates here the ones Jad has trouble with too. The Purple something... :: is lost :: So Jad has motivation to help/stear clear too. Ehe... fun ~~~ IN DOWNTOWN ANACHRON, BELOW THE AIR DOCK A man, who had commented upon them coming too soon, stares at the craft and abruptly turns away. He is Myles Million, a youngish, studious scientist who can be all too serious at times. MYLES: "Well, what's been done can't be undone. Or... undone... done." MYLES walks through the streets, ignoring the other people walking past him quickly and indoors. Myles is the only person on the street now. A shadow looms behind him. It's the Pirate Captian and he follows directly behind Myles with the Second Mate worrying behind him. Mylan doesn't seem to notice as he walks into his LAB, THE TOY BOX (*subject to change) a small house with a small plaque by the door which is also near a small lightbulb. The Plaque reads: "Free entry to all, unless the light is on." The Pirate Captian stands outside and throws a puzzled glance at the Second Mate. He turns back and knocks on the door. INSIDE THE TOY BOX The walls are covered with plans in various states of completion as well as some questionable articles of clothing. A small lamp burns on a small work table. There's a small attached office but the door is closed. Myles stands before his work table, his hands posed over a small red BOX decorated with Clockwork. His head turns as he hears the knocking. He bows his head momentarily, then grabs the box and heads, giving it a close, speculating look, and opens the door. The Captain smiles broadly and walks right in, slapping Myles on the back in a friendly manner. CAPTAIN: "MYLES! How are you m'boy! Good, Good, now, let's get down to buisness!" The Second Mate sneaks in and takes a seat by the work bench. There's a piece of paper on the table near her. She glances at it curiously... MYLES:"Yes... agreed, Good Sir. Now, I have your part right here. Now, if you'll just wait here a moment while I get the paper work..." CAPTAIN: "No problem! Off you go!" Myles heads in a small attached office. As soon as the light goes on, The Captian turns the box over in his hands hungrily. He opens it up, and stares at it. His expression turns to confusion. Meanwhile, The Second Mate's curiosity has gotten the better of her. She holds the paper in her hands and is quite pale. SECOND MATE: (nervous) "C...Captain. I believe... I believe we have a problem..." The Captain looks up at her, serious at once and walks over. He reads the note with her. Note: 'Thanks for the guidence system upgrade! I'll make good use of it! ~Jad'' CAPTIAN:"MYLES!!!!" Myles runs out of the room and finds himself face to face with a very angry Pirate Captain. Myles: "Y-yes?" He shoves the open box under Mylan's face. CAPTIAN: "Does THIS look like an ether engine flux capacitor to YOU?" Myles:"..." The Captain and the Second mate look at him closely. Myles seems to be focusing very hard on staying in control. MYLES:"(whispered)... Jad Skyseeker..." CAPTAIN:"What ABOUT Jad Skyseeker?" MYLES: "... he took the wrong part." SECOND MATE: "Um... excuse me... but why would you let something like that happen... especially if the CAPTAIN is coming?" MYLES: "(very quietly)He was trying to seduce me..." There's a silence. OUTSIDE THE TOY BOX Myles bursts out, enraged with the red box in his hands. MYLES: "JAAAAAAD!!!!" ---- I can fix the last part, but I thought it was too funny to pass up. More later on how the part Jad has isn't finished yet and exactly WHAT happened when Jad came to pick up his part from Myles. (edited cause I'm such a fruit sometimes!)
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:11 pm
Well, As for Jad, when he's shown, he should be at a restaurant.
Mylan can try to go to his ship, but it'd be locked up, probably with a note...
(Or Jad is on deck, buried in a pile of scrap, complaining that the part didn't fit to nobody in particular, possibly also stating that he should take up fishing.)
JAD digs through a pile of assorted parts on deck.
JAD: "...dang guidance system scrap. Conned me out of a perfectly good vector coil... I'd be THERE by now, but no! I had to replace the Mk II when it worked FINE."
Jad digs deeper into the pile.
JAD: "I should have gyromatic pivot SOMEWHERE in here. I happen to know the Gold Princess had TEN... Aha! no, that's my sprocket wrench..."
JAd pops back out and sits on deck, clearly displeased.
JAD: "I should really take up harpoon fishing... I hear it's relaxing..."
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:13 pm
Oh, and they are the Pirates of the Purple Blade.
(strangely, I always imagined the leader as a woman...)
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:39 pm
SPI -14 Oh, and they are the Pirates of the Purple Blade. (strangely, I always imagined the leader as a woman...) The leader CAN be a woman actually. I was thinking this Captain is just in charge of this particular ship. There is a Head of the Pirates. Lets get more info together on that before we go too much farther. I'm not putting down anything right now, as I wanna secure the upcoming scene with you, cause it's your character and all. Seeing as the Pirates of Purple blade know of Jad in some way (that can be shown later), it might be better to have them go to the dock and find him gone. Perhaps there are parts littered about, like he WAS going through them, but stepped out to go somewhere. Mylan tells the Pirates to wait there, and heads to the known hangout of Jad, "THE TOP FLIGHT GRILL" or something. There the first story point is revealed. Mylan turns into a woman... pehaps Jad decided to take advantage of that trait to get his part for a cheaper price and Mylan got flustered and left the room? Then he took the wrong one by mistake. Mylan tells him pirates are waiting for them. Mentions who they are, and then... well, lemme know what you think. that scene will be long nuff!
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:45 pm
yeah. I like that all...
Jad would probably be disturbed by the mention of them, possibly pinning Mylan and rhetorically asking if he could comprehend what the pirates would do to him if they found Jad.
maybe going into detail about why they don't get along...
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:14 pm
SPI -14 yeah. I like that all... Jad would probably be disturbed by the mention of them, possibly pinning Mylan and rhetorically asking if he could comprehend what the pirates would do to him if they found Jad. maybe going into detail about why they don't get along... Mhm... sounds good. BTW the part with Mylan and Jad will be a explained event, perhaps flashback? Maybe they go over drinks. I don't think Mylan ever went in depth as to what triggers his character to change... but for the story, I might change that due to the nature of the plot. Perhaps when he's being pressured or some kind of food. For now we can keep it vague. I shall PM Mylan later about this little thing and ask his feedback on the script later. I shall get writing this part later tonight. ^_^V
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 6:50 pm
I'm finding it quite entertaining. The character's name though, I feel compelled to point out, is Myles Million. But great stuff.
The trigger, since you ask, is nothing external. It's entirely at the discretion of his alter ego Sylvian Bruno. She likes being in control of their shared body, and will do so mostly whenever she gets a chance. But she usually can't force a change unless he's exhausted, asleep, drunk, or otherwise mentally fatigued. (He can also just let her take over, but understandably he avoids doing this.)
When she's in control, it's like he's dreaming. So he sort of knows what she's doing, but events are always filtered through her perceptions, so they're biased towards her point of view. So for example she may be rude to people out of playful arrogance, but he won't see it as rudeness unless someone mentions what really happened to him later.
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:00 pm
Mylian I'm finding it quite entertaining. The character's name though, I feel compelled to point out, is Myles Million. But great stuff. The trigger, since you ask, is nothing external. It's entirely at the discretion of his alter ego Sylvian Bruno. She likes being in control of their shared body, and will do so mostly whenever she gets a chance. But she usually can't force a change unless he's exhausted, asleep, drunk, or otherwise mentally fatigued. When she's in control, it's like he's dreaming. So he sort of knows what she's doing, but events are always filtered through her perceptions, so they're biased towards her point of view. So for example she may be rude to people out of playful arrogance, but he won't see it as rudeness unless someone mentions what really happened to him later. ... XD I shall fix the name thing right away! I'M SO SORRY!!!! crying Not that I'm gonna use 'drinking' in the script persey... I'd rather use other mental and edible methods. I find using drinking as a means to 'switch mentalities' to be a sort of cop-out. Most people get odd when drunk. Does Myles' physical form change too? Oh dear, I've been slightly vague on my explanation of what's to come. the script shall tell all. If I confuse anyone, I'm sincerely sorry. I'm used to knowing plots ahead of time... now it's just... 'BAM IDEA!'. So even I'm not sure what's gonna come next! mrgreen Shall be fun, ne?
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:47 pm
Starflyer1 Not that I'm gonna use 'drinking' in the script persey... I'd rather use other mental and edible methods. I find using drinking as a means to 'switch mentalities' to be a sort of cop-out. Most people get odd when drunk. Does Myles' physical form change too? He's rarely if ever a heavy drinker anyway. And his physical form changes completely. He loses a few inches in height, a couple pounds of muscle mass, his facial structure changes just enough, his hair gets a little longer, et cetera. (see the avatar of the mule Myiian or the FLIP! card in my sig for an example.) And, of course, the obvious other physical changes.
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:49 pm
(editing your part into the mix, since a few posts were after it!)
AIR DOCKS
The actual docks are divided up into many sections. Each 'section' holds a single airship and is connected to the ground by an elevator.
By a large ship, the LAUGHING EAGLE, JAD SKYSEEKER, a young man with a careful eye, digs through a pile of assorted parts on deck. (needs more description for the character.)
JAD: "...dang guidance system scrap. Conned me out of a perfectly good vector coil... I'd be THERE by now, but no! I had to replace the Mk II when it worked FINE."
Jad digs deeper into the pile.
JAD: "I should have gyromatic pivot SOMEWHERE in here. I happen to know the Gold Princess had TEN... Aha! no, that's my sprocket wrench..."
JAd pops back out and sits on deck, clearly displeased.
JAD: "I should really take up harpoon fishing... I hear it's relaxing..."
Off in the distance, a announcement from a small SPEAKER in the doorway of Jad's dock goes off.
SPEAKER: "ATTENTION! WE HAVE A REPORT OF PIRATES IN THE PORT. WE ASK ALL AIRSHIP CAPTAINS AND CREW TO KEEP THEIR DISTANCE AS THEY HAVE NOT COME WITH INTENT TO DO ANY HARM. OFFICERS ARE CURRENTLY KEEPING WATCH OVER THE SITUATION."
Jad looks up form his work and frowns.
JAD:"Perhaps NOW would be a good time to take a break..."
Shadows of clouds and airships passing overhead cross over Jad's form as he puts everything away.
He stands up and wipes his forehead, a small red box in his hand.
JAD:"I should take this guidance system back to Myles too... it seems... kinda shot. Not worth the cheaper price I weaseled out of him at all." He smirks.
The smirk turns into a worried frown.
JAD: "Then again, he might not be too keen on seeing me right now. Perhaps some refreshments are in order."
He heads to the elevator, which takes him to the ground.
Jad takes off as soon as he hits the ground.
AIR DOCKS, MINUTES LATER
Myles, out of breath, leans against the door way.
The Pirate Captain with his Second Mate appear behind him, unamused.
MYLES: "Jad... is...gone?"
The Captain's voice speaks from behind.
CAPTAIN: "Seems to be a rather, mischievous person, doesn't he?" his tone suggests amusement.
Myles relaxes and looks back at the Captain, and goes pale.
MYLES: "I'll... go find him. Odds are, since his ship's still here, he doesn't know what he has and took it with him."
SECOND MATE: "Or... you think he might have thrown it away?" She gestures to the ship timidly.
There's suddenly a small dagger at Myles's back.
CAPTAIN:"Well, we'd better HOPE not. I hate it when people betray me. It leaves a bad tasted in my mouth. The Pirates of th Purple blade never forget a face... or a name."
Myles turns around, chin up, trying to be brave.
MYLES: "I understand. I will get it back for you right away, sir."
The knife is lowered.
MYLES: "Stay here, I'd rather not startle him. This whole episode did start out rather... harmlessly." He takes a breath and leaves via elevator.
SECOND MATE:"Actually... we never really heard about how this little mix up started..."
The Captain smirks and plays with his knife.
CAPTAIN: "Yes, but we shall be here for the finish... and for Mr. Jad Skywing."
THE TOP FLIGHT GRILL
The Outside is a shiny, old fashioned airplane hanger with a large sign overhead: TOP FLIGHT GRILL! HOME OF THE HOT PLATE HOGIE!
Inside, long bar and track lighting spotlight as much of the floor as possible. A few lights are missing, creating some dark spots. There are many tables on the floor, as well as a bar in the back. Behind the bar is the door to the kitchen.
Jad is seated at a table near the back, drinking a glass of water. He swirls it around and holds it up to his face, looking through it towards the front door.
Though the water glass, a figure is seen entering and walking towards the table. Finally, the figure takes the whole view.
Jad lowers the glass.
Myles stands before him, pale faced. He slams his hands on the table and glares.
MYLES: "YOU!"
Jad smiles sheepishly.
JAD: "Uh... nice to see you again... Myles..."
TBC...
(BTW.. um... artists?)
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