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 Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:24 pm
A raggy looking tail could be seen in the bushes by the park. Soon the owner of the tail appear out of the bush while doing somewhat of a purr. He hadn't been happy for a long time, it seems. He looked around then moves to the puddle in the sidewalk to take a sip of water. He yawns for a bit before moving to find a tree branch where he could lay down for a bit. He didn't think it would be too much of a bad day since it is indeed raining.
"...Must.. find sleep.." He said softly. He had been running all night the night before as if he was running from his fears in his mind and his problems.
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:54 pm
Birman was in his usual spot in the park to meditate, it was at the base of a huge tree. The tree was both a home and a friend to him. He didn't always sleep in the tree but also had a big abandon burrow amonst its roots which always stayed cool and dry, and if the rain got to heavy he could easily get shelter there. but Birman didn't mind a light rain, he saw it as natures way of cleansing the soul.
This morning a lost soul seemed to wonder into his nook of the park, he knew as soon as he saw the Toyger that he needed help. "Good friend if it is shelter you seek you can share my burrow, there is plenty of room. We can talk after you rest if you like."
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 5:17 pm
The toyger's ears flickered while continuing to looked around. He sees the monk and says in a rough tone but not trying to sound mean or anything like that. "....To talk?...About what?" He couldn't help but take up on the monk's offer. "The name is Dracal..." He said in a softer tone as he walks right up to him. "..How did you know that I was looking for someone to try to understand what I am going through?"
He sat down besides him while tilting his head, starting to purr as he felt like he could be safe with the monk's presence. "Why does the air doesn't seem so mean so to speak all around you? It doesn't seem like it wants to weigh me down... "
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:39 pm
"Well Dracal, the rain cloud seemed to be following you. So that either means you are the barrow of a misfortune and grief or that you are a rain God, but you looked down so I figured it was the first one. You are not the first to visit me, most find me by what they think is an accident but I prefer to think that fate brought you here." Birman bowed to Dracal "I am Birman, I lived in a Buddhist temple before I found my way here, I believe I am called to help enlighten those that cross my path."
The rain started to pick up a little. "You know I think that rain was following you in order to help you, I know rain can seem gloomy and unfortunately wet, but if you visualized the rain drops glowing white with heavenly power hitting you and absorbing all the darkness around you, it can be good for the soul. but if you just need to talk I wan listen and help guide you though the turmoil you hold in your mind."
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Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 5:15 am
Dracal sighed as he listens to the monk, not liking how true for most of the words are to him. He knew that he had been depressed and had been fighting it for a long time since he had left the mansion. He thought he had lost his life long home for good for letting his feelings get in the way of being a brother to Nyx. "...I think you are right, Mr. Birman.." He said softly with tears escaping his eyes. "I want to be strong again. I cannot be seen by others. My former adopted father.. is so strong. I wanted to be like him. But.." He looked away with a whimper. "These.. feelings.. I have for the most beautiful ballerina... is wrong.. Is it?"
He was a bit scared to express his feelings but figured that if he only told Birman... No one would ever get mad at him for even stating the facts of them. "...I left because I thought I was the problem...I thought I was hurting Mama.." He looked up at Birman. "How can I get rid of this.. heart-wrenching pain? I want to be myself again. I want to be there for her.. for mama.." He just curls up as his heart was pounding. It was scaring the s**t out of him. He didn't know what to do. He tried to listen to Cleo and Belle. He knew that they wanted to help him. He felt like his heart had grew a bit icy to those around them. "...I am stupid, Birman.. My heart.. feels so cold.. but when I think about her..Nyxy.. " A deep blush would appear onto his face which would be the answer for the monk.
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Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 6:58 pm
Birman was silent for a moment as reflected on what Dracal had said and all that was not said.
"I don't know enough about your situation, but I can tell you that life isn't just right and wrong. It is full of exceptions and a lot of gray area. But we are the ones that cause ourselves to suffer. Our perception of what goes on around us is not the same as what others see
The reason that we experience suffering comes ultimately from our mind. According to Buddhism, our main mental problems or root delusions are: attachment, anger and ignorance. Because of these delusions, we engage in actions that cause problems to ourselves and others.
But do not worry suffering can end, Nirvana is peace. When you find peace it is easier to look at problems from a different point of view. Find the answers you already know but can't see.
Recognize what you can control and let go of what you cannot. If a problem can be solved there is no reason to worry about it, If a problem cannot be solved there is no reason to worry about it. Let go of worry, I will help guide you in meditation if you wish."
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:15 am
Dracal listens to the monk while softly purring gently, thinking that he may be right. He looks up at him gently. "You mean.. that what I am afraid of and what I think is going on is all in my mind? ...Not to be offensive or anything like that, sire.. but.. Are you calling me nuts? Because by your words, that is what it is basically saying. I mean.. I can't shake off the words that my former adoptive parents said in a fight about me.. I can't even shake off what Ishtar said..." He looked down at the ground as his chest didn't feel so heavy as he was telling the monk just what is going on in his heart and mind.
".....Mr. Birman...since I am not blood related to the family. My feelings for Nyx is okay? I wouldn't hurt anyone?" He had been so scared to show his feelings to Nyx, thinking it would hurt the family even more. "..Gods.. I feel like I am nothing but a stupid b*****d... I am not even sure if I am good person or a bad one for even having feelings for her. My heart would not listen to me when it started to develop the feelings. How can I be having illusions in my mind? How can anger make such things?" He looked to Birman with a pleading look. "...I have no ill feelings towards Ishtar or my adopted father, Kieran.. How can I be mad? I am only mad at myself for disrespecting the house of healing.. for.... everything." He flicks his tail sadly, looking at himself.
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 5:21 pm
Birman laughed lightly "No Dracal you are not nuts, not at all, but you are dwelling in a cluttered mind and heavy heart." Birman sat down and rested his hands on his knees. "They say there is nothing in your heart at birth. It's empty. But as you grow you talk to lots of people and feel lots of things. And gradually your heart comes into being. But as you are a child you are going to feel lots more emotions. As you become an adult you will be able to control them easier. Or you can allow your self to be reborn with a new open heart free of attachments. If your love is a pure feeling, it can not be wrong. Nyx is not a blood sister after all. Your feeling of wanting to keep your family safe is quite honorable, but you need to be in a good state of mind to do so."
Birman took a deep breath in "Healing begins with a single breath"
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 6:36 pm
Dracal looked towards him then took a deep breath while listening to the monk. He began to think and wonder if he was truly right about his words. "Reborn? But I am the same person, sire..I am just a kitten. I can't be reborn." He flicks his tail then began to clean his paws which was a habit of his whenever he was nervous or scared. "My heart doesn't want to empty.. this love for the girl.. I can't see her as a sister anymore but as a young beautiful woman, sire."
He tilts his head in confusion, looking into the monk's eyes. "....How can I keep my family safe? And what state does my mind need to be if I want to do that?" He had so many questions but he wondered if he had time to be a different cat all together. He didn't want Nyx to see him as a bad person or anything like that at all.. His eyebrows furrowed softly, looking down at the ground. "I don't even know how she feels towards me.. She knows how I feel. I told her before I left.. To see her again.. to see her dancing again is my wish.. my world.. " He looks up at the monk. "Please, Mr. Birman.. I need to find out whats my place in her world.. I just.. need to know. I can't stop thinking about her.. I just can't!" He lets out another deep breath as he tried to keep himself calm for the monk.
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 3:18 pm
"You will be the same person, you just won't have the weight of the worry and pain on your shoulders. You are not merely a Kitten, you are on the verge of being a man." He took another deep breath letting the air feel from the belly to the collar bones before releasing it. "Love is all you need. But before you can love others it is important to know how to love yourself."
"Would you like me to start a mediation with you to help clear out your thoughts first? and then we will do a cleansing."
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Dracal looks towards his new friend with a smile that seems to hide away most of the fear and burdens. "...Being.. a man? But doesn't it come with certain responsibilities, Mr. Birman?" He nodded at the last statement. "..I have been hating myself.. because of what I have become.. I.. I just can't get enough of Nyx." It seems that the toyger couldn't understand his heart like he should. He couldn't stop thinking about Nyx at all. "Please do, Mr. Birman."
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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:27 pm
"I want to to lay on your back, be as comfortable as you can be and close your eyes." He waited for a moment for Darcal to lay down.
"Let your breath be natural and effortless.
Smooth effortless inhalation, Long expansive exhalation.
Count your breath up to ten, and each time your mind wonders, go back to one."
The first thing Birman wanted to do was to empty Dracal's head,, if all he thought about was his breathing then that was the easiest way.
"Breath in and say What I have is enough.
Breath out and think What I am is enough.
Breath in and say What I do is enough.
Breath out and think What I have achieved is enough.
Let go of regret. Whey re-experience something that went wrong? Wasn't it bad enough the first time? Remember that 90% of what you feel is your own interpretation.
Smooth effortless inhalation, Long expansive exhalation.
Breath out thoughts desires emotions
let your thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky.
Keep going back to the breath.
The universe breaths into you with your inhalation
and you breath back out into the universe with your exhalation
the exhalation releases and there is a pause a moment of silents, of stillness. allow the mind to settle on that moment of stillness. let the mind settle on the heart.
Their isn't a single moment in our lives when God disappears.
Their isn't a single moment in our lives when our heart closes.
The heart is constantly experiancing the presents of God
Their might be a moment when you forget to see God when you for get to visit your own heart. But their is never a moment when God disappearrs.
God's love is unconditional, your heart is always open.
Inhale pure love, exhale pure peace."
Birman paused to breath with Dracal.
"Visualize your whole body and mind filled with darkness. feel the sadness without being overwhelmed by it. Now Imagine a healing light coming from with in you. See the beams of light ---warm, bright, joyful. Let them fill your entire body, penetrating each and every cell. Now imagine the light shining beyond your body, lighting the whole world, the whole universe. Feel the nature of this healing light: it is not solid and cannot he held it is just light. Reside at the center of the light. Breath it in, be the light of healing."
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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 7:31 am
Dracal's breathing was slow and calm as he listened to him, keeping his eyes closed. "...You make it sound so easy to do, Mr. Birman." His tail moved slightly at the tip. He was indeed feeling older but none the wiser just yet. He wanted to spend more time with Birman as it seems to be helping him slowly. He whispered the words that Birman told him to say as his breathing matched the rhythms.
He opened one eye towards the monk and sighs, softly. "...Casting the darkness out? You mean let them float away like a river?." He then hear the words of God before looking at him. "..There is more than one god, Mr. Birman.... I know there is one that the humans worship.. the one of christianity.. I think it is called." He was curious but it was the wrong time for him to be such that. He shook his head before continuing to listen as his breathing slow down to what seems to be of a rhythms of sleep breathing. He was indeed feeling like the world had slowly came off of his chest. He didn't seem to be feeling like he was hated. "...I.. feel so light.. Like I am not hated anymore, sire." He smiled slightly as his eyes were closed again. "...What makes me feel.. like this? so light? so... happy? Can I use that word again?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:06 pm
"Yes a river is a perfect way to think of it"
Dracal made Birman laugh "yes there are more then one god, but I was referring more to your God self. The perfect being the is in you, that is you. Buddhism has many Gods, or Devas as we usually call them. It's more okay to say you are happy, it's positive thinking that will help you make a positive world around you." Birman smiled proudly "It is wonderful how
meditation can help lift heavy burdens, Now lets go out and stand it the rain if you are ready to be purified and cleaned."
Birman bowed toughing his forehead to the ground before standing and looking out at the light rain. "As the water hits you, think of each life giving drop as a gift from your Gods. Imaging each drop that hits you causes you to shine, to glow, to be clean and purified."
((oops I forgot to post this last night, just left it up I'm sorry))
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 7:09 pm
Dracal did what seems to be a backflip as he smiled softly, feeling a bit lighter and happier about himself. He knew that he still had a long way to go in meditation but still knew that he would have to take certain roads to do such a thing. He purrs louder and louder and jumps into the rain, swirling almost like a dancer as if he was dancing with a certain ballerina. "...I can trust myself again, Birman.. Why did it take so long for me to.. do this?' He said as he let the rain hit him, letting the hatred and fear slide off of his tail so to speak. He closes his eyes, picturing his life's goals. His fur was starting to become more like itself again.. His posture grew alittle because of the mediation "........I have to find her soon.." He turned to Birman once again. "...I had saw a couple of humans doing something like this." He began to do what seems to be form of Tai Chi, while purring very very softly. He would time the breathing with his movements. As he finished, he would bow to Birman. "What is that, sire? It.. um.. looked fun to do." He smiled sheepishly. "I had gone to the karate school that is here in town. It is how I learned how to do Karate." [The Tai Chi that is he is doing is this: Tai Chi 24 form ]
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