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 Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:46 pm
Here is the Prompt I was given:
You've just had a child and after much arguing, you and your husband/wife have decided on a name. French-fry. Why this name? You can depict the arguing if you like.
A. You have 1800 words
B. You have 10 days
....
In my defense, I wrote the ENTIRE thing today, like, in one day. I wrote it up at school, and typed it up when i got home.
Because it's due... and I put it off....
>>
Aaand, though it won't do me any good as far as the contest goes, any constructive cristism is welcomed ^-^
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:48 pm
Round 1The Naming
XXXXIt was a cool summer morning when I sat there with Landon, this very same chair in fact. Only two weeks ago it was, but with so much excitement since, it seems as if far more time has passed. The biggest difference, I suppose, would have to be the dancing baby in my womb, not to mention the pain in my back, that of which I can almost still feel.
XXXXHeading back to more pleasant memories, though I have all the reason in the world to cherish those in their significance, I should probably start on the nature of our conversation. A name. A name for out little girl, less then a week to go and we had none! But you see Frenchie, in spite of our stupor, we had a friend, a savior if you will. Oh I was skeptical at first, of course I was. What surprised me was your daddy’s seemingly immediate consideration of the suggestion! I thought he had had better taste then that, and according to your Auntie Sam, she only used to think I did too.
XXXXA brunette in her mid-twenties shifted her weight, which had decreased quite dramatically since only a few days ago, on the grand old chair of burgundy velvet. It was her grandpa’s at one point, when it was brand new, and many years since, and then kept with care and affection by her grandma after his death. The girl was only 10 then. And now, now it was hers, passed on as a wedding present two years ago. Lindsay cherished it, and was proud to share it with her daughter now, if also sad that her little girl would never know Paul.
XXXXWarm black eyes smiled into those beautiful blues as she cooed to insight the giggle that followed. So young, but already the little blond, so much like her father in appearance, had a vibrant personality all her own, not to mention a familiar quirk or two.
XXXXA big, sleepy yawn, adorable in and of itself, sounded from tiny pink lips, and that was more then enough encouragement for Lindsay to continue her story.
XXXXAn answer to our own dilemma came in an interesting form, I’ll admit, a woman only two or so inches taller then I, with a purple swirly octopus, complete with monocle and mustache, plastered across a chest I’d been jealous of since freshman year of high school.
XXXXYes, Chelsea, designer of her own shirt, knew we were searching for a name, and with little luck at that. Yet, before she could relay it to us, Sam came in with a similar purpose.
XXXXXXXXX“You said you liked more L’s! Layla, Leah, Leilani, Lexi, Liza- similar to your mom even Lindsay!” She cried out triumphantly.
XXXXXXXXX“Oh! What do you think hon?” I asked, turning to Landon, your daddy. He nodded thoughtfully, but Chelsea cut in once he had barely opened his mouth--
XXXXXXXXX“French-Fry!”
XXXXWe stared, especially since she seemed so serious, then burst out laughing in perfect sync, all four of us.
XXXXXXXXX“But seriously!” Chelsea chimed in as our laughter began to die down. Funny thing was, she meant it! And we could tell. Can you believe that? Sam thought it was ridiculous, she always did have a wonderful taste, whether it be fashion, friends, or names. I agreed, and Landon just gave her a funny look, yet, almost pondering it.
XXXXNot only was she serious, but she had a reason, a change of pace from her usual randomocity. You see, this is when she told us her story. She told it in greater detail and was far more animated then I could be, with you in my arms, but I will try.
XXXXApparently, there was once a well known man that lived in Big Bear, my home town in fact- I will have to take you up there some day- that went simply by Frank. He was a doctor, one that did house calls, and was ridiculously lenient when it came to money and insurance. He volunteered at the Children hospital, even though his work was a private practice, and generally helped out the town. The children loved him, and the adults respected, or some even, admired him.
XXXXHe was a mysterious one though, for it seemed that no one knew when he came, or when he wasn’t there, though he had to be no more then a solid 35, and not there long, surely! Awe still, wouldn’t have described the townspeople’s feelings toward him, that is, until he died. It was a car crash, but one that should not have been his. No, he ran someone off the road.
XXXXIn fact, it was intentional. What you must understand my darling, is that he did it to save not just one life, but five. It was a family with three small children that rode in the car, and a sleepy truck driver that drove the big rig that almost crushed them. It crushed him instead. He didn’t know the family, but such things never mattered. He had saved them, and sacrificed himself to do it.
XXXXWhat does this have to do with anything at all? Why, simply the other factor. A mother figure was present throughout his time there, instantly recognized when they both came to town, whenever that was. However, from where they knew her, was uncertain. It turns out she had worked at the lone McDonald's, some years ago. She was a bouncy girl with a sense of humor none to match, and a pregnant one at that. She had a son, as well. She named him French-Fry. She never told anyone why, but she did it. It was no wonder he went by Frank, boys are cruel after all. You shan’t have that problem though hon.
XXXXMaybe I’m rambling now, sorry dear, I know your tired. Now, you must understand I had known she chose it for what it was, but the story behind it was touching. You will probably find this silly someday, but we thought it over, Landon most of all, in fact, your daddy was the first to bring it up the next day. I tell you this so that you won't put the full blame on me.
XXXXWe discussed it later, once Chelsea was present, and she seemed terribly excited it was being considered. And then a thought struck me!
XXXXXXXXX“We could call her Frenchie! Like from Grease!”
XXXXXXXXX“Grease, like… greasy French-fries?” your daddy asked us.
XXXXWe stared at him, we did.
XXXXXXXXX“No, the movie stupid.” Chelsea stuck her tongue out at him and the two of us laughed.
XXXXThat night we watched Grease. Chelsea was busy, but your Auntie Sam came over to watch it with us. Your dad loved it! Just like we knew he would, both of us still shocked he hadn’t seen it sooner! He was grinning once it was over. I clapped my hands together once and pointed at the credits.
XXXXXXXXX“See! Frenchie!!”
XXXXLandon nodded, thoughtful once more, “It is cute.”
XXXXXXXXX“Yes. It is.”
XXXXI turned to look at Sam, who was pursing her lip, “Reeeally Lindsay?”
XXXXXXXXX“Maybe.”
XXXXI smirked at how it annoyed her so. Landon stood then, and made his way over to the DVD player, but stopped mid-stride.
XXXXXXXXX“Hey!”
XXXXXXXXX“What?” Sam and I chimed in unison.
XXXXXXXXX“Uhm… why was she called Frenchie?”
XXXXWe both burst out in laughter, hanging on each other, which only was made worse at his look of confusion. Then it hit him. His eyes widened and he actually stuttered! Kodak moment right there my darling, utterly priceless.
XXXXXXXXX“No. No. Absolutely not!”
XXXXSam perked up, “good, that would have been horrid to name her French-Fry!”
XXXXAh, but now I was interested. “I dunno honey, it is cute, you said so yourself. Oh, and don’t forget unique! With a hero behind it too!”
XXXXHe was determined after that, to find a name that satisfied both of us. We even argued that night, for several hours at least, as he hunkered over the computer screen. However, his time to do so was cut short when I went into labor the very next morning! He was left with little choice at that point. And, after 16 hours of fatigue, pain medication, and the pain it was supposed to prevent, my little French-Fry popped out. It’s a good story isn’t it Frenchie?
XXXXFrenchie, comically named French-Fry, was sound asleep by this time, but Lindsay knew she liked it. Of course she did. The proud mother was still looking down at the sweet child that lay comfortably in her arms, when the door banged open, starling her. Fortunately, the baby didn’t even stir.
XXXXSam and Chelsea, “adopted” aunts of the little girl, came streaming into the furnished living room. The fire place was billowing low by then, letting faint light flicker over their faces as they strode in closer, illuminating only parts, while leaving the rest in shadow. Lindsay always did appreciate the haunting look it gave even the most gentlest person, if not so much at the current moment, all things considered.
XXXXXXXXX“Shh!”
XXXXBut Frenchie looked just fine with her tiny thumb in her mouth, and a restful expression on her plump rosy cheeks.
XXXXXXXXX“You did it you did it you did it you did it~” Chelsea sang at the top of her lungs, with absolutely no regard to the sleeping baby in her friend’s lap. She had the most ridiculous grin plastered across her face.
XXXXXXXXX“D-did what?” Lindsay stuttered with obvious confusion and a creased brow as she peered through the dim light at the girl.
XXXXXXXXX“Named her French-Fry!” she exclaimed in delight, clapping her hands most obnoxiously.
XXXXXXXXX“Uhm… well… your story got to us…. Big Bear was my home town, and I knew that McDonald's well, I guess, yeah, and Grease…”
XXXXLindsay didn’t get it yet, but she soon would, for Chelsea wasn’t about to keep her in the dark about such a delicious subject for long.
XXXXXXXXX“I made it up! Right off the top of my head on a simple whim silly! Be proud. You were tricked into naming your first born child French-Fry by an octopus!” and with that, she waved her arms in the air, mimicking the movements that went back to our high school years, used in basketball and called by us, Octopus, as became her nickname, and obsession, from then on. She backed out of the room as she did so, and exited out the front door, which had been left open. Retreating giggles reached the ears of both [unnecessary words deleted here] remaining women, that were awake anyway.
XXXXSam cracked up due to the look on Lindsay’s face and took a snapshot of it with her phone, which just happened to produce high qualities pictures.
XXXXIt turns out, it wasn’t until then that it truly dawned on the new mother. She had actually named her daughter French-Fry Rebecca Kaiser, officially, and at least for the first 18 years of her life, irrevocably. French-Fry, in all it’s greasy, golden glory.*Note, bolded words are things I corrected/edited/revised after rereading the entire thing, actually for the first time. Also, the few things underlined were additional corrections. Good thing I finally reread it eh? xD
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:23 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:27 pm
ReservedMeh, so I ended up bailing out because I didn't have time, and I'm lazy... but I like the first story razz
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:31 am
The story is really creative and awesome! Especially the ending, hah! Never thought it would be a made up xD
So, did you make it?
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 3:00 pm
Well, due to the fact that my opponent never turned his in, along with many others- everyone who did got a pass.
But I only scored 81! My fault for procrastinating so much though lol.
And now we have a bigger harder and longer prompt.... and I'm going up against one of the two people that got a 100 (on a different prompt) I fear I'm doomed! But I'll still try lol.
Thanks xD
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:07 am
81 is not bad biggrin
All the best! x)
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