How do I 'console' an Atheist? (kinda important) | Page 1 | Atheism | Guild Forums

Call Me Apple

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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:58 pm

My best mate is an Atheist, and his father is dying of cancer.
He only has a few months left. So of course he's very upset, and looking to me to comfort him. I dont know what to say, i cant say 'Oh he'll be in a better place' Because by my friends standards, he'll be in a hole and thats the end.

I love him a lot, but i dont know how to console him.

How would you want to be consoled if in this situation?
What can I say to him?

Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:53 pm

Coming from a personal stand point, DON'T console him. Why? Because I believe, within reason, that consoling anyone about something as inevitable as death only stands to give them false hope that will ultimately be crushed.

Your friend should learn to cope with the fact that his father is dying, and there is nothing he can do about it.

Kimihiro_Watanuki
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Call Me Apple

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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:19 pm

Kimihiro_Watanuki

Coming from a personal stand point, DON'T console him. Why? Because I believe, within reason, that consoling anyone about something as inevitable as death only stands to give them false hope that will ultimately be crushed.

Your friend should learn to cope with the fact that his father is dying, and there is nothing he can do about it.

Hrrm...Unless he pushes me away, i dont think thats going to happen.
I am a nurturer bu nature ><

Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 7:22 pm

Get a realy absorbant shirt and be there for the crying shoulder he'll need. as for comfort not realy sure the religion will either be seen as a nice try or a push depeding on how volatile his mood happens to be when it coes up. the athiest tens to view the untimely death of a loved one as some form of proof of the non-existanc of God.

Kimi, i have buried one friend per year since 2004 (as well as two gandmothers) death may be inevitable but it still hurts to lose someone close to you. watching them die slowly is even worse.

Lazarus The Resurected
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Kimihiro_Watanuki
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Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 7:15 am

Lazarus The Resurected

Get a realy absorbant shirt and be there for the crying shoulder he'll need. as for comfort not realy sure the religion will either be seen as a nice try or a push depeding on how volatile his mood happens to be when it coes up. the athiest tens to view the untimely death of a loved one as some form of proof of the non-existanc of God.

Kimi, i have buried one friend per year since 2004 (as well as two gandmothers) death may be inevitable but it still hurts to lose someone close to you. watching them die slowly is even worse.

I never said it didn't hurt. I said it was inevitable. Enough putting words in my mouth.

Which hurts more: Knowing a loved one will die, or pretending they won't die while the reasonable part of you is screaming "WAKE THE ******** UP!"?

Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:25 am

Kimihiro_Watanuki

Lazarus The Resurected

Get a realy absorbant shirt and be there for the crying shoulder he'll need. as for comfort not realy sure the religion will either be seen as a nice try or a push depeding on how volatile his mood happens to be when it coes up. the athiest tens to view the untimely death of a loved one as some form of proof of the non-existanc of God.

Kimi, i have buried one friend per year since 2004 (as well as two gandmothers) death may be inevitable but it still hurts to lose someone close to you. watching them die slowly is even worse.

I never said it didn't hurt. I said it was inevitable. Enough putting words in my mouth.

Which hurts more: Knowing a loved one will die, or pretending they won't die while the reasonable part of you is screaming "WAKE THE ******** UP!"?

Yeah, I know that frustration. When my grandmother was dying of a brain tumor I was the only one in the family who accepted it.

Lazarus The Resurected
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