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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 9:14 pm
As a Noachide Chassid I tend to try and dress more modest.
I feel that although women should be able to wear whatever they want, I find that I feel more respectable when dressed modestly.
Lately I have been wanting to dress as a Muslimah, hijab and all, even though I have absolutely no desire to be a Muslim, even though many friends of mine are Muslim.
I want to cover my arms and I want to only wear skirts but I feel like I look ridiculous in skirts.
So, all you women here, do you dress modestly?
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:41 pm
I dress modestly as often as I can. In the summer I need to wear shorts and all but when it cools down again I'm usually wearing a nice dress. I don't like dressing un-modestly, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I've gotten the want to wear a hijab too sometimes, just because Ithink they look nice,
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Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 11:28 pm
In Medias Res IV As a Noachide Chassid I tend to try and dress more modest. I feel that although women should be able to wear whatever they want, I find that I feel more respectable when dressed modestly. I've found this to be true, too. I've bought a couple maxi dresses that I wear over a long-sleeve shirt and I even find that I move differently when I'm dressed modestly. It's not that I'm stifled or anything, but I feel more....graceful? More aware? Something like that. Quote: Lately I have been wanting to dress as a Muslimah, hijab and all, even though I have absolutely no desire to be a Muslim, even though many friends of mine are Muslim. ME TOO! My honey doesn't really back me on that though; he says I can if I *really* want to, but he wants to be able to see me neutral I don't think he's all that jazzed about me dressing as I do now with just a tichel covering; the other day we were going out to the mall and I asked him before we left, if I looked alright. He said "Yes, you look very pretty......I would say you look beautiful, but I can't see any of you." I was thinking "Gee, thanks honey xp . " I think I'd feel more comfortable in hijab...but at the same time, I respect my honey's opinions and wishes. I've been debating about bouncing between hijab and tichels, but I'm unsure how well that would go over in general. I've also had the urge to wear an abaya lately, but....they're kind of expensive. Quote: I want to cover my arms and I want to only wear skirts but I feel like I look ridiculous in skirts. So, all you women here, do you dress modestly? I don't like long skirts usually; I have a booty on me and long skirts just seem to hug my hips and booty gonk . So I usually wear loose jeans, a long-sleeve shirt, and a longer (usually hip-length) tee-shirt over it. Or if it's warmer out, I'll wear one of my maxi dresses over a long-sleeve shirt. And of course, my headscarf. I've actually noticed my hair getting darker again now that it's not constantly in the sun getting bleached out!
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 12:23 am
I don't like the word "modestly". I don't really understand how it is being used.
For example, I often wear floor-length skirts with turtlenecks. However, I don't feel modest. I feel sexy. Often a woman dressed without revealing skin can be sexier than a woman wearing a short skirt and low-cut top, so long as she knows what she's doing. So I'm not sure what the word really means.
I like to feel attractive. If I don't feel attractive I don't feel comfortable. I have to feel like myself, or I feel grumpy and out of place. This tends to mean lace and lots of black, though I can feel equally comfortable in low-slung black jeans as in a long skirt. People never, ever treat me without respect, regardless of the length of my neckline or how tight my top is. I never feel slutty or anything; I feel untouchable.
Because I am a woman, and I have boobs, and hips, and I like them. I've been a feminist since before I knew what the term meant ("girls can climb rocks just as well as boys!") so I don't like the concept of covering up my body for reasons of modesty.
I mean, how unfair is it that in summer boys can walk around with their shirts off in public and we can't?! ******** injustice!
If what I want to wear happens to cover this or that, eh, whatever - but I never choose clothing for that reason. I choose it because it makes me feel beautiful.
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Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:11 am
I tend to use modest/ly as relative to current, general fashion. I mean, if this winter's fashions involve abayaat and niqab, then I certainly won't label my way of dressing as "modest" anymore! xd
To me, a woman who is covered and woman who is wearing shorts and a tube top are both beautiful...but they're different kinds of beautiful. One isn't lesser than they other of course; they're just different with pros and cons to each one.
Don't get me wrong; I certainly don't think that covering everything up is *the* only way for a woman to dress. That'd be silly of me. I'm all for dressing however one feels comfortable. For me, that means long sleeves and pants/dresses/etc...
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:49 am
I just don't understand why "modest" and "covering skin" mean the same thing, if an individual who is covering more skin is sexier than someone wearing shorts, jandals and a t-shirt.
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:47 am
I see a LOT of things I want to respond to, so I'm going to put it all in the same post or a couple of posts.
In Medias Res IV writes: I want to cover my arms and I want to only wear skirts but I feel like I look ridiculous in skirts.
Divash responds: You probably don't look ridiculous in skirts, you know. I thought I did, too, but after wearing nothing but skirts for two weeks, I realized that my body looks slimmer and taller, and I carry myself with greater grace and dignity, than when wearing trousers. I just needed to get used to seeing myself with a different silhouette. You might be the same way. Of course, it helps to get a skirt with the right cut. A-line skirts that fall anywhere from mid-calf to floor-length look great on most people. If you have more of a backside, wear a skirt that skims away from the body; if you have a flat backside, try a circle-skirt that isn't fitted over the backside so that it'll make you look like you have a bit more back there.
In Medias Res IV writes: So, all you women here, do you dress modestly?
Divash responds: Why ask only women? In both Judaism and Islam, men are also required to dress modestly.
* Islam requires a man to be covered from navel to knee, and some Muslim authorities also counsel/require the wearing of a head covering and/or beard.
* Judaism requires a man to be covered just as much as a woman: from below the elbow, to the collarbone, to below the knee. While a Jewish woman is only required to cover her hair if she is married, Jewish custom is that a man is required to cover his head beginning at the age of three years. There's even a ceremony in which he has his first haircut (leaving the sidecurls long) and receives his first hat. He also must wear the four-cornered garment with the fringes on each corner, over his undershirt but (usually) beneath an overshirt.
* Even Christian men have a kind of dress code. The Christian Bible requires a Christian man to uncover his head to show that he is second only to God (a Christian woman is required to cover her head "while praying," according to a verse in 1 Corinthians, to show that she is second only to man -- hey, I didn't write it, I'm just reporting it).
Beautiful Propaganda writes: I've gotten the want to wear a hijab too sometimes, just because Ithink they look nice.
Divash responds: Don't they, though? So elegant. Plus, they protect your neck and ears from sunburn in the summer, and from cold in the winter, and from wet in the rain. Just be careful about wearing a hijab. You don't want to be seen as wearing a "costume" or mocking Islam. You want it to feel and look like simply a part of the outfit you've chosen to wear. I find that I can get away with it in my (very religious Jewish, Muslim, and Hindu) neighborhood by wearing a light scarf just over my hair, then tying on another light scarf to cover my neck only when I'm outdoors. That way I get the shade in summer, the warmth in winter, but when I go indoors people can still tell that I'm not trying to mock Islam or to go against my Jewishness.
Violet Song jat Shariff writes: My honey doesn't really back me on that though; he says I can if I *really* want to, but he wants to be able to see me I don't think he's all that jazzed about me dressing as I do now with just a tichel covering; the other day we were going out to the mall and I asked him before we left, if I looked alright. He said "Yes, you look very pretty......I would say you look beautiful, but I can't see any of you." I was thinking "Gee, thanks honey . "
Divash responds: Have you explained to your honey (husband? boyfriend?) your reasons for wanting to cover yourself a bit more? Try it. "Sweetie, I just feel so much more physically comfortable and graceful when I dress with more care like this. I like knowing that you're the only man who gets to see my full beauty, I like saving that for you alone. I like knowing that you love me for who I am, not only for the way that I look. Dressing this way keeps me protected from leers and stares from other men, and it makes me feel precious and secure. To get to a diamond, you have to dig down deep in the earth. To get to a pearl, you have to dive down deep in the ocean. My body is more precious than these jewels, and I feel it should be covered and protected too."
Sanguina Cruenta writes: I don't like the word "modestly". I don't really understand how it is being used. For example, I often wear floor-length skirts with turtlenecks. However, I don't feel modest. I feel sexy. Often a woman dressed without revealing skin can be sexier than a woman wearing a short skirt and low-cut top, so long as she knows what she's doing. So I'm not sure what the word really means.
Divash responds: In this case, "modest" means covering areas that one feels impelled to cover. You probably dress modestly, too, within your own standard of modesty. Do you want to go out without any clothing on? No matter how much you love your body, you probably wouldn't want to ride the city bus naked, sit where other people have sat or put their feet, and have strangers staring at your body. How much you cover will depend on a lot of things: your religious views, your personal physical comfort (how hot or cold it is), and which parts of your body you feel are most likely to entice unwanted sexual advances from others.
The essence of modesty is being attractive, but not attracting. If you are dressing in a way that you feel enhances your dignity, refinement, and elegance, then that is modest, for you. If you feel sexy, so what? A person can be sexy and still be modest. It's just that if you're really good at modesty, your sexiness will seem like a precious secret that someone has been privileged to glimpse, rather than like an advertising billboard that says "Sex here! Come and get it!" If you think about the way you feel when wearing your covering clothing, it's probably very close to the way the rest of us feel when we wear ours. Desirable, beautiful, absolutely -- but definitely not free for the taking.
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:20 pm
Divash Violet Song jat Shariff writes: My honey doesn't really back me on that though; he says I can if I *really* want to, but he wants to be able to see me I don't think he's all that jazzed about me dressing as I do now with just a tichel covering; the other day we were going out to the mall and I asked him before we left, if I looked alright. He said "Yes, you look very pretty......I would say you look beautiful, but I can't see any of you." I was thinking "Gee, thanks honey . " Divash responds: Have you explained to your honey (husband? boyfriend?) your reasons for wanting to cover yourself a bit more? Try it. "Sweetie, I just feel so much more physically comfortable and graceful when I dress with more care like this. I like knowing that you're the only man who gets to see my full beauty, I like saving that for you alone. I like knowing that you love me for who I am, not only for the way that I look. Dressing this way keeps me protected from leers and stares from other men, and it makes me feel precious and secure. To get to a diamond, you have to dig down deep in the earth. To get to a pearl, you have to dive down deep in the ocean. My body is more precious than these jewels, and I feel it should be covered and protected too." My fiance wink . I've tried talking with him about it, explaining why I feel compelled to dress the way I do...and I'm lucky to get about 3 sentences in before he either puts up his hands and goes "Alright whatever; it's fine. I don't care." or just giving me this blank look that says "Why are you talking to me about this?" And I've pointed out to him that me dressing like this works out because he does have a bit of a jealous streak and now he and I don't have to worry about things that might cause his jealousy to trigger....and he just gets huffy and says he's not *that* jealous. Intelligent, adult conversation is a rare find in our house unfortunately -.-
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Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:04 pm
I am - average for a person in Florida. I am willing to wear short shorts and tank tops or long, hip hugging jeans with an attractive shirt that shows just a hint of cleavage. I'm not so big on showing the mid-riff though. I never cover my hair.
I'm rather fond of my body; I have long legs that, when not studded with various bruises or scrapes, are very appealing, I have long, slender arms, I have a sizable bust, and on the front of my neck, stopping at the breast bone, I have a striking pattern of freckles that contrast ever so well against my pale skin.
I used to have confidence issues in regards to my body. My covering of it was not an act of modesty but rather an act of shame. I've overcome this and showing off a little is freeing. I feel confident, graceful, and proud when I am dressed in a way that makes obvious those features I have mentioned.
I haven't taken this to extremes. I am still within the bounds, with the exception of that hint of cleavage, of what my mother would allow. I am comfortable as I am, now.
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Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:28 pm
I still don't understand where this whole "Oh you dress modestly/cover up; you clearly must be ashamed of your body" thing came from. Do people feel that this helps or hinders bridging the gap (either real or imaginary) between women who feel they dress modestly vs. women who feel that they do not? I've noticed a similar sentiment coming from the more...stringent people who cover up - "Oh that woman must not have any sense of self-worth; look at all the skin she's showing!" Again; do you feel this helps or hinders? Quote: I'm rather fond of my body I hope you're not implying that a woman who covers up or dresses modestly isn't.
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Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:52 am
I was not attempting to imply that those who cover themselves are ashamed or that those who do not are proud. A person may cover themselves in pride of their body and a person might flaunt themselves in shame, desperate for validation of their beauty. I had not intended my reasoning for my actions to extend to anyone outside of myself. When I covered myself, I did so in shame. Now that I do not, it is out of pride.
EDIT:
See: "My covering of it was not an act of modesty but rather an act of shame."
I made the distinction. I don't really understand how you came to believe that I was generalizing all persons who dress modestly to be ashamed. I, in no place, stated this to be the case.
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:04 am
 All these beautiful women in my presence! heart  It really wouldn't be an Amanda thread if there was no pic dropping.
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:14 am
My wardrobe consists mainly of jeans and 3/4-sleeve length shirts. But... I wear flip flops all the time. gonk It's not that I like to show off my feet. I just like my feet to catch the drifts. cool
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:36 am
That's okay comfy.
I just bought two new skirts!! But I need tops...
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:54 am
In Medias Res IV That's okay comfy. I just bought two new skirts!! But I need tops... I never can make a good skirt/shirt combo. crying The transition from one to the other always looks too awkward and abrupt. Others pull it off, so I know it can be done. I just suck at it. Blarg.
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