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Alright so here is my relationship and my mothers to Joshua:
I'm not sure how but my mom came across this blog by this guy Joshua who was part of the same base and company as my boyfriend. He was the same rank and had the same job. My boyfriend doesn't like to talk about his job at all so through Joshua I learned a lot about his job. Joshua was from MA which is near my state and we have shared some of the same experiences because of it. We became online friends (kinda like lj buddies with commenting) but that isn't to say that we talked on AIM or anything like that. For about 3 months now I have been waiting for posts to see what he's been up to and what my boy has possibly been up to in Iraq. He usually posts every few days and usually it's about how he gets into trouble for feeding the street dogs or not wearing his hat. Sometimes he would post about how the higher ups have no idea what they are doing or things he wants people to send him. It was just...it was almost like we met him personally and really knew him. Since he is at the same FOB as my boy my mom and I were gathering stuff to send over to him since my boy could find him easily. (yes my boy was getting stuff too. 99% of the box actually)

My boyfriend said how most of the group was going on some trip somewhere a day so I might not hear from him for a while. Well Joshua must have been on that trip because he didn't post for about a week. I went online late last night to see if they got back and his girlfriend posted saying that one of the transport vehicles some how flipped over and Joshua long with at least 2 others were killed. More were injured but she didn't know the details. An investigation was going to be done on the accident and she thanked us all for supporting him and her during these hard times. (She unfortunately was the one to open the door when the men arrived to bring the news. She moved in with his family until he came home and they bought a house. I actually knew her form another site and didn't know it. They were going to get married when he came back on his leave.)

I don't really know what to do or say. I'm pretty upset that he died. I mean I have never met the kid and really only talked to him though comments. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend never knew him but I want to let him know i'm here for him if he wants to talk. Is there a manly way to extend that to a guy in iraq? he never accepts the "if you need to cry i'm here for you" sorta crap. I mean I'm pretty scared right now because I don't know if my boy was in that, if he is dead, injured or alive. His parents are the type who wouldn't tell me because I'm "just a girlfriend, i'm not family and if the military wouldn't even tell me they shouldn't either" type of people.

I guess I'm just looking for some support here in how to deal with this. You don't need to post how you are sorry, I know that you all feel what I do or at least worry about this sort of thing. Idk. I just don't know what to do with myself and my civi friends really don't understand.

Thanks for reading this anyways.

My sorrow for your sorrows.
I don't really know what to say for this, all I can suggest is find someone to talk to, preferably a professional that will be able to help you cope with his death.