Taken from: http://healthandfitness.sympatico.ca/SOGC/ContraceptionSexuality.htm


As any parent knows, you can communicate a lot to your child without ever saying a word. When it comes to sexuality, the way you react to certain situations, how you deal with their body and your own, how you feel about privacy, and what you choose to actually sit down and talk about all communicate strong messages. But if you feel uneasy about discussing sexuality and contraception openly, rest assured, you're not alone.

Though your child will no doubt hear about sex and contraception through the media, school, the Internet or friends, research suggests that teens still want supportive advice, information and guidance from their parents. Because many teens incorrectly anticipate COMPLETE parental disapproval, they may NOT raise the subject. If they haven't, for your kid's sake, bring it up yourself.

When is it a Good Time?
Nobody knows your child as well as you do...and for this simple reason, you should best know when your child or teen can handle talking about contraception or sexuality. The best way to start is to look for "teachable moments".

These moments are all around you. Maybe you and your child see a pregnant woman, a display of condoms at a drug store, or a love scene in a movie or on television. Take these opportunities to discuss your feelings and values and to ask your child if he or she has any questions. It's not really that important what you talk about, so long as you're talking. This way, when your child needs to talk to someone, they'll know that it's okay to come to you.

Obviously, you won't know the answer to everything, but if you avoid the issue, children may feel that contraception or sexual health issues are taboo. Just remember that study after study has shown that sex education DOES NOT lead to an increase in sexual activity . but it does lead to safer and more positive interactions now and in the future.

Discussing Sex With Your Teenager
Any parent can find it difficult to start a discussion about sexuality with a teenager. Be prepared for rolled eyes and protests of "I know that already". Remember, even if you're really uncomfortable talking about sex and sexuality, there's a pretty good chance that your teen will feel even more uncomfortable at first. Try inviting your teen to share their own observations and ideas with you. Remember, this should be a discussion, not a lecture. For example:

• "Are most of the kids in your class talking about sex? Are some of them doing it?"

• "Do you think there are any advantages to having sex earlier? Later?"

• "Have you ever thought about when you might be ready to have sex? What do you think makes a person ready?"

• "Has anyone in your school become pregnant? Do you think you lose anything by becoming pregnant so early in life?

• "Do you think some people have sex just to impress their friends or to keep up with the crowd? Can you see any risks in such behaviour?"

Respecting your teenager's ideas doesn't mean you can't state your own views. If you disapprove of teen sex, for example, you can certainly tell your teen why you feel the way you do. Your teen is becoming an adult, and they're going to want to make their own decisions. "Because I said so" is not an argument that teens typically respond to. For this reason, you might have better luck explaining to your child why you feel the way you do, rather than just telling them what to do.

Don't expect to cover every aspect of teen sex in one conversation. Again, remember that the most important thing is that you're opening the lines of communication. It can take several conversations before you and your teen overcome your mutual discomfort. As your teenager matures, you can talk about more difficult issues. You can also invite a trusted relative or friend to talk about sex with your teen, or suggest places where they can find more information.

Finally, prepare yourself for a few groans and rolled eyes when you bring up sex with your teen. Sometimes, despite your best intentions, your teen may simply want to end the discussion and move on to something else.