|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:20 am
this is a weird one.......
pain never ends with tears
the blood just keeps flowing
and flowing
cant stop no way to stop
cant stop no way to stop
no.
so hard to stop
so hard to keep
i swear
they want me
to die!
slipping
falling
face down in the blood
pain never ends with-
pain never ends with-
pain never ends with-
cant stop no way to stop-
cant stop no way to stop-
cant stop no way to stop-
no way to stop-
no.
you carry the pain forever
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:34 pm
lol if joo thinks thats weird read this... Angel
Holy light surrounds thy self
Protecting from all the darkness
Continuously fighting you have eternal health
Fighting against all those heartless
Epic battles sway the fields that clashes between the two lands
You are caught right in between
Relentlessly you fight with both your hands
But for whom, your Queen?
A butterfly gracefully glides from flower to flower
Each flower it has been to, has been claimed
Each flower has been in shower
With the blood of the holy and the damned
Standing up amidst the blood you've spilt
You've been chosen, to reach ascendancy
Despite the horrible scars and wounds that have been dealt
Your future is unable to be foresee
Grasping the power of light, its so immense
The blood seems to dissipate with every step
With the power of light, there is no trouble to advance
For the damned, they don't feel anything accept,
The hatred that runs deeply through there veins
Extreme rush of adrenaline and they ready to fight
You stand alone, all by yourself, ready to be slain
Only thing that drives you, is the light
Wave after wave of damned the light grows stronger
The one looks down at the progress of the fight
Shaking his head he is disappointed he can't look much longer
A silent tear falls before he can hide it out of sight
Looking down one more time he moans breathlessly,
"I'm sorry, that it has comes to this,
Please forgive me, you'll die helplessly
Death will soon give you this unforgiving kiss"
Turning away from the sight of his perfect Angel
The light fades from his pure-heartened soul
And the damned overwhelms his struggle and he is strangled
The stench is so foul
The damned run loose once more
And the Holy hide in fear
The blood of the innocent becomes a shore
Nothing is ever clear
Least not anymore
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:55 pm
if you want people to read your poems dont go spamming up others posts. its perfectly fine for you to post your own...well post.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:57 pm
Kimyoo_misery if you want people to read your poems dont go spamming up others posts. its perfectly fine for you to post your own...well post. LOL sorry i just did lol i figured i had too. again sorry
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:21 pm
oh no im not mad!
i was just a bit irritated because i thought someone had actually read one of my poems (awah im so ignored) only to find it was someone posting their own poem (which, i may add, i would read if i could. gah bright colors)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:03 am
Kimyoo_misery oh no im not mad! i was just a bit irritated because i thought someone had actually read one of my poems (awah im so ignored) only to find it was someone posting their own poem (which, i may add, i would read if i could. gah bright colors) Lol i'll change the colors for ya if you want
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:05 am
Aha! Tis better :3, anywho I think yours is good :3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:06 am
I'll concede weird, but I must insist that it's far better at communicating strangling panic than anything remotely 'weird'- and really does an amazing job to that end. Not a whole lot to it other than that, but very pointed and suggestive, complete with the take-home message at the end to very soundly seal the piece. I'm definitely a fan of your writing style, the line-of-thought is superbly done, keep it up biggrin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:14 pm
Yeah, got to totally agree with EW here. The weirdness is in the style, but it is used quite effectively, and that's all that matters. The last line hits me like a brick wall; it suddenly goes from the panicking, barely coherent stream of thought to what feels like a dead quiet statement of ironclad fact.
I have this image of the person in a bathroom, fumbling around, slipping in their own blood and then something happens, internally, and they find themselves staring into their face in mirror, tear-streaked and bloody, with the last line echoing in their head. Feels like a turning point.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 6:53 pm
I like it. :3 I can just imagine Linkin Park singing this.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
