Welcome to Gaia! ::

It had been several days since the incident at her house -- the confrontation that sent her running off into the darkness without warning. Caoimhe felt no shame in running; she had spent her life avoiding pain. In Aranorn, she would run for days on end to try and protect herself, proving that her endurance could outlast even full-grown Eninac scouts. And she was younger than, a child. Now, forced to face her past by the two people she loved most in the world -- her guardian and their closest family friend -- Caoimhe was beginning to doubt that there was truly any place where she belonged. Whatever this past life was, she was no longer a part of it. Regardless of what had transgressed on Aranorn, all the abuse she suffered, she had passed that too. And now she was here, in Gaia, just trying to move on from all the things that she had been forced to endure in her life, and she was being forced -- physically and mentally forced -- to confront these parts of herself that she just wanted, so desperately, to forget forever. Why wouldn't they just let her be? Was it so wrong to just want to be a normal teenager without having to worry about hearing voices and weird visions?

It was late evening. Caoimhe had spent the day on the opposite side of Gambino Isle, far away from her house and anyone else she knew. She walked the beaches and caught lunch at a sushi restaurant. But the sun would set soon -- and she was not going home. The teenager did not think of the panic she had most certainly caused in her home -- the pain of her guardian even. She only cared about running away from all the reality they were trying to force upon her. So what -- they knew her accent was some kind of Scottish, whatever that was. Did that even matter?

"No," she said aloud, her words struggling to convince her mind. And yet, she remembered the voices, how the children cried in her head, how the waves spoke to her, how she experienced whirls of panic and fear and sadness and anger at the most random times. And here she was -- back on the beach. Always on the beach. Her feet were bare -- no time to grab shoes in her escape from her home -- and the sand was cool, bits of shell softened as she walked over them.

Up ahead, she spotted a gathering of large rocks creating a treacherous reef for swimmers. Walking slowly, she approached the rocks and climbed up onto one that was guarded on three sides by much larger formations. Caoimhe took a seat, leaning back against the wet rock. She felt despondent and broken and so very alone. But what could she do? She could not face this past life; she didn't want to do it. Yet, it continued to pursue her -- but why?

It was too much. She was just a kid, no matter how hard she tried to pretend otherwise. For the first time in a long time, Caoimhe let the child in her come out. She curled her knees to her chest, rested her head on them, and let herself cry.

Caoimhe thought she was alone -- totally alone. The rocky stretch of beach was too rugged for even the most dedicated beach combers to trek across. So who in all of Gaia would be out here? Lifting her head ever-so-slightly, the teen Fa'e let one eye peek out and up at... a fairy? Caoimhe had met so many winged Fa'e. For a while, she thought that ALL Fa'e were supposed to have wings and that her lack of them simply reinforced how much of an oddity she was. At the time when she arrived on Gaia, Caoi was the only Fa'e like her -- one that had been reborn, as she was told, somewhere other than Gaia. Now, she knew others -- Ami, Onora, Skule. Still, a bit of her was always jealous that she did not have wings and the ability to fly. So then was this little fairy a... Fa'e?

Caoimhe stared hard at the blur of cyan and gold -- pretty colors, soothing to the girl -- and did not feel the usual ping she did when it was another Fa'e. Odd. Under normal circumstances, the teenager would have flicked the fairy away and told her to mind her own damn business, but she was crushed and tired and could not muster up the effort to be mean. "I just am," she said, sniffling. She fought to stop the tears, but they continued, falling from her almond eyes in heavy drops each time she blinked.

Something about the matter-of-fact way that the fairy spoke did not arouse anger in the temperamental Fa'e. Instead, she watched the fairy calmly, raising her face away from her now wet knees. Airi... The name sounded familiar. Caoimhe was not much for memory -- she had too many that she would rather just forget -- but it came back to her, something that Conrad had said the night that she arrived in Gaia.

Perhaps she - Airi, the first of the Fa'e - will come to you. Perhaps the others will find you first, or maybe you'll find them. Whatever happens, you're free to choose your own path, though... that's the one thing Airi did say to tell you. That you're free, and it's the greatest gift she can give you.

This fairy was a messenger from the first Fa'e -- ever? And it was only coming to her now? Why not before -- why not when she first got here? "How could she possibly help me," she said, an edge of derision slipping into her voice. Part of her wanted to speak to this woman, had wanted to since her first day in this strange new world, and now, years and years later, after she'd suffered the slings and arrows of adaptation here -- now Airi came? Caoimhe shook her head.

A life of separation from the Fa'e in her had born skepticism in the Fa'e. It was hard for her to believe that Airi even really existed, let alone that she would give a damn about the predicament of one Fa'e in a sea of faces.

The ocean whispered beyond the rocks, slapping lightly against the shore. Caoimhe looked past the fairy, out onto the stretch of beach. She had intended to sleep here tonight. If this creature hadn't come along, she probably would have. Still, whether or not Airi could solve her problems or not, Caoimhe resolved herself to the fact that she needed to talk to someone -- and who better than the prodigal Fa'e of all? Dropping her eyes, she got to her feet slowly. "Okay," she said, hopping past the fairy onto the sand. "I'll come." Such compliance was out of the ordinary for the girl, but she felt lost. At the very least, this fairy was offering her a choice -- one that she didn't feel like she had to make herself.

Wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, she took a few steps away from the rocks. "Just don't tell anyone else I'm going," she added. Caoi knew that fairies could be mischevious -- and she had no intention of letting anyone else know that she had sought out help. And she didn't want Gristla or Mrs. Kates to find her. Not yet.

A bit of a walk? Hm, not too bad actually. Caoimhe spent so much time walking around Gambino and Barton that she didn't really think of it as too long of a distance. Besides, the walking took her mind off of things she didn't want to think about. Turning toward the fairy, she asked, "Do you mind if I run? I mean, I can't fly or anything, but I can run the distance." Endurance was something that Caoi had in spades. The miles that spanned between the secluded beach and the HQ would not be much of a problem for her, even if it tired her out. Plus -- Gaia didn't even compare to the vastness of Aranorn -- a planet that only had foot travel.

Caoimhe ran the whole way, keeping a steady pace. She probably should have considered the sheer inhumanity of how very fast she was traveling for such a distance, but the girl had always been fast -- fast swimmer, fast runner, fast jumper -- and assumed that she was just lucky. Still, it was hard to compete with someone who could fly, especially when the girl had to take breaks to remove thorns and stones and tiny bits of glass that embedded themselves in the pads of her feet. Running barefoot in a city wasn't the smartest idea in the world, but Caoimhe thought little of the yuck factor in it.

So as they approached the HQ, the fairy a bit ahead of her, Caoi slowed rather abruptly at the sight of the blond Fa'e on the steps. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time to come see her, but now, actually seeing her, Caoimhe felt embarrassed. This woman knew she had been crying, had somehow sent this fairy to fetch her -- now what? Hesitating, she chewed on her heavy bottom lip, taking ginger steps toward Airi. After all, she had just run quite a ways and her feet were sore. "Hi," Caoi said, a bit curt in the face of Airi's polite greeting. "I really wasn't doing anything so... it wasn't, you know... much of a... disturbance." The teenage Fa'e felt awkward and stupid, fighting to form sentences. She had wanted someone to talk to -- and here someone was, perhaps one of the best people to dicuss Fa'eness with. What was her issue?

Around that time, Caoi noticed the food. Though she loved fish and fried foods, the girl had a soft spot for every food group -- equal opportunity employer, she was. A sudden light flared underneath her wary eyes, and she took a few quick steps forward, wincing from the sudden movement. Completely unaware of rudeness or manners, Caoi reached down and grabbed a handful -- quite literally -- off the dish and stuffed the mixture of bread, fruit, and cheese into her mouth. Her chewing was voracious, but her face was lighting up, slowly gaining more vibrant color. "I'm crazy hungry," she said, spraying bits of bread into the air. It was true. At home, Caoimhe had lots of access to food all the time, but in her time as a runaway, she hadn't thought to bring much money with her and -- as a result -- did not have the same food liberty that she was accustomed to in life.

Chewing, she glanced over to Airi, then back down to the food plate, and then up to the moon. Conscious of the quickly falling silence, Caoimhe began rocking back and forth on her feet and not making eye contact -- appearing more like a toddler than a teenager.

Swallowing down the mouthful of food in a gulp, Caoimhe helped herself to another as Airi spoke. Right... she had come here to talk. Staring at the quiet girl in the simple dress, the teenage Fa'e tried to assess the situation. She was on the precipice of a big decision -- should she, for once in her life, blindly trust another and open up? There was no going home, not now, not until she sorted any of this out, and well... there was just something about Airi that called to Caoimhe like a song she had known all her life.

So, against all her usual fears and protections, Caoimhe decided to talk.

"Okay, well," she began, dragging a bare toe through the dirt at the edge of the HQ walkway. "Look -- when I got here, no one told me much of anything. Conrad plucked me out of Aranorn and just dumped me there," she pointed to the HQ, "and then disappeared. He didn't do much explaining, you know?" She looked up to Airi and thought of mentioning what he had said about the dream Fa'e but did not. Instead, Caoimhe spun on her heel and continued on her cathartic tirade. "I lived in this HQ for a while -- and I only saw a handful of Fa'e. I didn't even know what it meant to be a Fa'e! I tried to ask people questions, but I never got too straight of an answer. Just little things like don't leave your guardian and you are a reborn creature and you have a past life and greater purpose and all that. I don't even know what any of that means!"

Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, but she couldn't stop. If she stopped, she didn't know if she would be able to say all of the things that were in her heart. "And I know I'm not like the others either, not like most of them. When I got here, I had lived in another place for a really long time, and most of the Fa'e that I met had never been anywhere other than here -- but I had." She turned to face Airi, forehead wrinkled. "And then I met others who had been in other places like I had, but I don't think they were from a place like the kind of place that I was from. I was in a place where I was a total freak and outcast, and I suffered for that every single day of my life. Why did I have to go through that? Why did that happen to me when it didn't happen to anyone else? Aranorn was hell for me -- and Gristla was the only creature that thought my life was even worth keeping." These were words that Caoimhe had felt for a very long time, and words that she had never said. In fact, she didn't even realize that these feelings of abandonment and isolation that she had experienced both on Aranorn and then on Gaia had anything to do with her sadness.

Her nose prickled, and without warning, she began to cry again, breath catching in her chest. Sensitivity, weakness, pain -- Caoi had always fought to hide it, shrouded under cruelty and anger and impatience. Now, standing in front of a perfect stranger, Caoimhe exploded with all the feelings that she had bottled up, and her body couldn't handle the strain. She was hyperventilating and sobbing, her tiny frame shaking. Wrapping her arms around herself, she turned her back to Airi, ashamed. She took a few moments to calm herself enough to speak again. "And now," she said, her voice almost a whisper, the Celtic vowels rolling off her tongue in waves, "I'm hearing voices. Kids. Crying kids and voices in the waves. And I have dreams that I can't explain. And there are times when I see things, random things, and I get this feeling like I have a memory about it -- except I can't remember it or it doesn't make any sense." Even under blue-gray skin, Caoimhe looked flushed. The girl seemed to have only two settings -- totally closed off or wide open floodgates.

Dragging a hand across her nose, she couldn't look Airi in the eye. "I feel... lost," she said, voice faltering.

Caoimhe wrapped her arms around herself. She was a bit more calm, but heavy tears still spilled from her eyes. This explanation, with as much earnest as it had, did nothing to fill the hole that burned in the girl's chest. She did not know what she had expected from Airi -- but it was not this. She wanted help, some one to do all this for her.

"I'm not good with people either," she said at last, not making eye contact. "And I don't like Conrad." Her words bit at the sound of his name. The transparent man had earned a chief place of dislike in the teenager's mind. It probably had a lot to do with him being the one who had started her down this whole long journey -- but it was his departure shortly after that had sealed her hatred. The girl had been dumped in Gaia with a guardian who most of the rest of population considered a simple animal. It had not been easy getting to where they were now, but they had made it -- no thanks to anyone but themselves.

The idea that Caoimhe chose Gristla did not surprise the Fa'e. Gristla was the only person on Aranorn who appreciated Caoi for her differences from them instead of fearing her otherness. Still, it bothered her that she was one of those Fa'e that had been cast away from Airi whereas so many others had come to be so close to her. Still keeping her distance, she raised her eyes to Airi and asked, "Was I an accident? Is that why I was one of the Fa'e that was... not near to you?" It made sense to her; the ones who are away were the... less important? Caoimhe seemed to constantly search for reasons why she might not be worthy of love like others. It was a hurt that ran so deeply in her that it spanned across all the incarnations of her lives and came seeping into her mind like a toxin.

The wind blew a tangle of curls across Caoimhe's eyes, and she pushed them away. It comforted her to know that Airi had problems too -- but who was this Chaos? Was it another F'ae? As far as she knew, no one named Chaos had ever come after her... right? She wanted to ask about it, but didn't, just held her tongue and focused on the words from the dream Fa'e. When Airi finished, Caoimhe didn't say anything. Quietly, she crossed the space between them and took a seat beside Airi on the steps, lifting the tray of food into her lap. Grabbing a piece of cheese, she stuffed it into her mouth, chewed it carefully.

"I mean, this... beats still being, you know, dead," she said, grabbing another cheese cube, "I guess." Caoimhe pulled the edge of her shirt up and wiped at her eyes, still brimming with questions.