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 Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:40 am
I know that you're not medical professionals, but I'm just looking for some advice...
I hate being touched by anyone, even my friends and family. Oftentimes if someone touches me I feel physically sick and overwhelmed. Any kind of physical intimacy makes me feel uncomfortable. Recently I had to get a physical at the doctor's office and I felt distressed. I always wear long-sleeve shirts and pants. I never tell anyone how I feel about this because it's awkward to bring up, especially because I don't want to come off as cold. I'm actually a very empathetic person, and my friends think this too. I'm eighteen and I really desire a relationship, but I don't know how I can when I have this problem.
Is this common? Has anyone else ever felt this way? Any ideas why? Is this part of a mental condition/disorder? I can provide more information about my situation upon request.
Thank you for reading this. I appreciate it!
-Melody
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:02 am
I don't know anyone who doesn't feel a bit distressed at the doctor's. And some people are not interested in sexual contact at all. They're called asexual.
But it sounds like your case might go beyond that. It's possible that it is something you can overcome with a lot of time, communication, and a patient partner. But it probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional about it either and see if there are any underlying psychological issues.
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:57 am
LorienLlewellyn I don't know anyone who doesn't feel a bit distressed at the doctor's. And some people are not interested in sexual contact at all. They're called asexual. But it sounds like your case might go beyond that. It's possible that it is something you can overcome with a lot of time, communication, and a patient partner. But it probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional about it either and see if there are any underlying psychological issues. I have heard of asexual, but I don't think that's why, only because I'm physically attracted to people and I know that I really want to be with someone eventually, (sexually even), so I'm not sure. Hmm... I hope to talk to a professional, but things are tight for my family, so I hope I can do this soon. Thanks for replying! heart
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:38 am
I feel this way often as well though a less of a case then you have. I often say: "Dont touch me." When people do brush up agaisnt me or feel the urge to poke me for some odd reason.
Things in peoples pass can lead up to them being defensive of themselves. It is okay, i believe, to feel this way. People dont need to be touching other people if they dont want it but eventually you'll find yourself in a position where you WILL want a person to get close to you and i believe that you'll manage to overcome your dislike of it.
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:00 pm
Hmm... maybe it's a type of anxiety?
Other than that, the only thing I can think of to suggest would be to talk to a mental health professional, since I don't think the problem is physical. So a counsellor, psychologist, and then if you need a specialist or someone specifically, you could probably get a referral from them.
If your family can't afford it this month, it might be worth mentioning to your parents at least so they can start saving for it, and then you can go whenever you can go.
I have a friend who, in the 10 years I've known her and her family, only started letting me hug her within the last few years (2 - 3?). Before then, she would make a yelping sound whenever I hugged her, and she might've with her family too I don't remember. But I do remember for a very long time she would get uncomfortable if I hugged her. Then I came to visit one time and she actually wanted a hug, so now it seems she's fine with that kind of contact. What happened in between is unknown to me, but I'm happy for the change regardless. smile My friend was abused in the past by a stranger, so I've often wondered if that's why she was against the contact for so long, but I've never asked.
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:11 pm
Nikolita Hmm... maybe it's a type of anxiety? Other than that, the only thing I can think of to suggest would be to talk to a mental health professional, since I don't think the problem is physical. So a counsellor, psychologist, and then if you need a specialist or someone specifically, you could probably get a referral from them. If your family can't afford it this month, it might be worth mentioning to your parents at least so they can start saving for it, and then you can go whenever you can go. I have a friend who, in the 10 years I've known her and her family, only started letting me hug her within the last few years (2 - 3?). Before then, she would make a yelping sound whenever I hugged her, and she might've with her family too I don't remember. But I do remember for a very long time she would get uncomfortable if I hugged her. Then I came to visit one time and she actually wanted a hug, so now it seems she's fine with that kind of contact. What happened in between is unknown to me, but I'm happy for the change regardless. smile My friend was abused in the past by a stranger, so I've often wondered if that's why she was against the contact for so long, but I've never asked. Maybe I have some anxiety issues, I'm not sure. I would have to look it up some more. Hopefully I can see a counsellor soon, I'll take your advice about saving up. Thanks for sharing the story about your friend- maybe I can get over this eventually. I've been emotionally abused but never actually physically, so I'm not sure. :/ It's a little lonely not being hugged or touched. I want it to be enjoyable and not scary...
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Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:01 am
update: saw a therapist (for free! lol my mom's friend is one) and talked to her and he thinks that the cause is because I was abused when I was younger. So please, if you are ever in my situation, you need to tell someone! It's really important. I know it's going to take some time, but having this closure is really great.
-Melody
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 7:53 pm
I think Nikolita is correct. it may be an anxiety problem. I have the same thing. My anxiety is really bad and usually I would take medication for it but I dont have any left. see your doctor and a therapist for this. When my friends touch me I also feel the similar nausia, It could be from the feeling of clausterphobia (sp??).
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Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:17 am
Glad to hear that you're doing better!
I know how hard situations like that can be.
I'm still struggling with it.
Keep us posted! ^_^
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Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:33 am
xBrokenMelodyx update: saw a therapist (for free! lol my mom's friend is one) and talked to her and he thinks that the cause is because I was abused when I was younger. So please, if you are ever in my situation, you need to tell someone! It's really important. I know it's going to take some time, but having this closure is really great. -Melody I'm sorry I missed your update and didn't post sooner - I just wanted to say that's great! biggrin I hope the help has helped. Thank you for the update. ^^
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Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:45 pm
I have the same issue, if someone touches me i can feel it for sometime after they had touched me, the only person I don't get that with is with my boyfriend. I've just assumed I'm this way because my parents aren't that physically affectionate with my sister and I, and not so much when we were younger. So I've associated being physically close is suppose to be with an intimate relationship and not family, just too creepy for me sweatdrop
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