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 Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:19 pm
So I'm coming off of this months obscurity. I know I've been hovering around the guild, not answering forum posts so much (though I've been keeping up with the mail, maybe thats why I don't feel so bad?). Augusts been a weird one, a wild card. My lifes as monotonous as a witches life can be, my mundane lifes pretty cut and dry. This month however has given me some interesting introspection as I harvested my thoughts and beliefs.
To start of the month right, my grandparents came up for what could only be called a "re-funeral". My great-aunt died in 94, and her husband, my "Great-Uncle" Bill, died just two years ago. They were a loving couple, what little I remembered of my aunt. My Uncle was one of the "pioneers", being one of the first of the family to move up where we live today. He was there when my single mum needed a little help, and his kids and grand kids (my second-cousins...wtf I detest this bs. They're cousins, done) became immediate family in this snowy "wilderness". When he died, it was an extremely somber time, especially since he was my grandmothers favorite brother out of seven.
Well, the kids got together and decided to combine the ashes together in a grave someplace near to where they lived. Its a nice idea, and was originally supposed to be only between the kids, my grandparents, and the family priest. Well...that was the idea, and when the day rolled around, there was about twenty five of us crowded in what I consider my dream house, having mass and teary eyes all around.
I sat on the stairs in the kitchen, as it didnt feel right to have a "re-funeral" in the first place, and due to my personal beliefs, it was a waste of time. I was there for support, as Im sort of a rock when it comes to death. Anyway, the priest starts up, and about a quarter of the way through the ceremony, the kitchen door blows open (and this is a steady, heavy, expensive door built to NOT do this). Not many noticed, but the few that did had the same idea rolling through their heads. Aunt and Uncle were taking off (or coming in, I like to think they were leaving. Its just the kind of folk they were). Anyway, onward to the funeral procession, where about fifteen cars lined up to drive a two-track to the wilderness graveyard.
I'll admit, sitting in that house, listening to mass, and sitting so devoid of the group made me think of one very big thing. I am a Witch. None of these people know about it, except possibly my dead relatives (and none have yet appeared to say I'll burn for it so whatev). I tried to think of how each person would take it, much the same why I made my guest list for my wedding. Who would care? Some didnt even know I was 21, I was going into respiratory therapy, or that it was even me (I'll credit that one though, I'm a bit different looking than them). If I blasted out that I was a witch at the "wake part two", would any of them care? Why did I have to be so private about it all? Did my deceased relatives really follow us around like it felt they were (all of them too mind you, felt like one shivery family reunion)? Did I really feel them on the wind?
(As an added note, the youngest member of our fam, aged three, kept looking around the room, as if more people were there. Her mother noticed too).
Then came the week-off vacation. My boyfriend and I secured a week where we worked one day a piece and spent the rest paying video games, making food, going on LONG nature walks, and playing on the beach. It literally felt like we were between worlds, and for the while I put my spirituality on the back burner. Despite feeling odd about that, I knew I needed it. I had "Pagan fever" this summer, and taking a week to just veg out felt pretty releasing. I even got hooked on FF12 again (dubious about whether or not that's a good thing).
Still, walking through nature, making food for my loved one, basking in the sunlight and all the other things I cant list here was in its own way a form of worship. As the charge mentions, "All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals". We just had a week-long unconscious ritual, I thought to myself, but as I looked at it more, we had been worshiping for years now, since we drew our first breath.
Then came the few emails I got. I'm not used to spell begging, but for some reason people were inspired to ask. While I think they were out looking for a good time, a spell to quick fix things and get them what they wanted, I was conflicted about answering them. Granted they were somewhat superficial requests, with little thought or respect to the religion and hard work/spirituality/seriousness behind whatever words I could give them, who was I to judge? There are witches out there with little belief in anything higher than themselves, or possibly spirits. Some that dont celebrate sabbats or esbats or could care less about studying and learning. They're no less powerful than us that study and worship and so on, just different. I contemplated answering, give them a little advice behind a few carefully rhymed words and a spell that required little more than themselves. Perhaps rather than lecture spellbeggers about what witchcraft is and isn't, and get a dubious or redundant reply from them, I could give them an example, and let them learn for themselves. Think about it. Theres a healer sitting on the outside of a village. The people of the village are too busy, or too engrossed in whatevers going on in their lives to rally give a thought about magick other than it works. They go to the healer woman for something...herbs for pregnancy, a way to get rid of freckles, a charm to keep their lover out of the arms of another. Would the healer woman go on and on about how things worked, how the villager really should take up some tutelage, perhaps grow some herbs themselves? Of course not! Theres a problem, fix it, keep the mystery to a minimum and keep it more about the healing than anything.
Situations like this come up, and more often than not spellbeggers unwittingly offend the "others" they ask. The "others" are often so wrapped up in their beliefs to really look at the situation and see that maybe the spellbegger in question just doesn't know, and furthermore has no idea they're offending to begin with. Perhaps they're looking for a thrill, maybe they really are asking for help. Do they want a history lesson? Probably not. Should be just hand out spells like candy? Of course not. Is this kind of issue totally black and white? I don't think so. Personally, I don't like to get asked for spells, as its usually by someone whos got the stereotype in mind. It makes me think though.
What I took away from August was concrete in my mind, and yet blurry around the edges. I'm a witch, unformal and yet as dedicated as one could be. My wands been broken for a while, my altars in hiding, theres a bottle of tobacco on my shelf left out for when I casted an emergency spell that worked almost before it finished and won my boyfriend over to our side all the more (or so I thought. Lord Darion Rahl says eventually he'll probably join me on my path, just because it'll be around him so much, with sabbats and whatnot, and my explanations and traditions seem true to him as well). My family doesnt know, but maybe thats not as huge of a deal as I thought.
Two things are for sure though;
1) Im gonna stop gleaning over the forums and only answering what strikes my fancy and
2)Samhain is coming up, Halloween decorations are already out in stores, and I feel my pockets burning already.
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:39 pm
Ah.. Halloween... or as we call it: Samhain. It's your favorite time of year, yes? It's mine. My special someone just bought "bleeding" candles from Yankee Candle Co for Halloween.
...I also understand the spell-begging situation.
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witchunterobin Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:58 pm
Samhain!!!!! One of my favorites holidays! A time for eating bucket loads of free candy and harvests! And, of course, dressing up and scaring the crap outta kids! Whee! whee
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