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 Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:54 pm
This was one of the police reports in the local newspaper today:
Officers responded to a residence in the 1000 block of East Fourth Street
at 4:02 a.m. Friday where a man claimed that his mother, with whom he
resides, took his tennis shoes because she claimed he owed her $5. The
mother had left the residence before the officers arrived and attempts to
contact her were unsuccessful.
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 12:32 am
The funniest crime report I've ever read was a couple years ago in a small Wisconsin town. Police responded to complaints of a firearm discharge during the day. When they arrived on scene, they found a drunk guy in his 50s with a gun, standing by a lawn mower. The guy had apparently shot his lawn mower because he couldn't start it. I think I still have the newspaper clipping somewhere.
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:32 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 2:17 pm
Either I had heard about that when it happened or you actually had that in another thread somewhere back-in-the-day... I totally remember the lawnmower story.
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 6:43 pm
lotusvoid Either I had heard about that when it happened or you actually had that in another thread somewhere back-in-the-day... I totally remember the lawnmower story.
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:36 pm
I remember I had a friend who lived in NH, and they came down to MA to visit. She brought the newspaper that day and in it there was a report of a drive-by pitchfork stabbing. I thought that was awesome.
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Digital Malevolence Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 9:39 pm
now THAT is an epic win, for a fail...
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:10 pm
The only problem was that it didn't explain how it was done. Now for the past few years I've been wondering if they threw the pitchfork out the window or if they slowed down a little and stabbed the victim really quick.... or..
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Digital Malevolence Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:59 pm
or used a pitchfork crossbow?
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:56 am
lotusvoid or used a pitchfork crossbow? That is also a possibility. ninja
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Digital Malevolence Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 2:25 pm
Shadowlit Facade The funniest crime report I've ever read was a couple years ago in a small Wisconsin town. Police responded to complaints of a firearm discharge during the day. When they arrived on scene, they found a drunk guy in his 50s with a gun, standing by a lawn mower. The guy had apparently shot his lawn mower because he couldn't start it. I think I still have the newspaper clipping somewhere. Oh yeah, I remember that. The guy was jailed and fined some ridiculous amount of money for shooting his own lawnmower on his property. neutral Which I just don't understand how they can punish him for... ...Unless by "lawnmower", they actually mean "landscaper"...
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:02 pm
Rotting Gnarl Shadowlit Facade The funniest crime report I've ever read was a couple years ago in a small Wisconsin town. Police responded to complaints of a firearm discharge during the day. When they arrived on scene, they found a drunk guy in his 50s with a gun, standing by a lawn mower. The guy had apparently shot his lawn mower because he couldn't start it. I think I still have the newspaper clipping somewhere. Oh yeah, I remember that. The guy was jailed and fined some ridiculous amount of money for shooting his own lawnmower on his property. neutral Which I just don't understand how they can punish him for... ...Unless by "lawnmower", they actually mean "landscaper"... They just don't like people shooting in populated areas. What if the bullet had ricocheted and hit someone?
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:10 pm
could you imagine the irony of getting hit by a bullet meant for a damned lawnmower?
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:42 am
Volvy They just don't like people shooting in populated areas. What if the bullet had ricocheted and hit someone?
@Lotus: One would be hard-pressed to find a lamer way to die.
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:54 am
Shadowlit Facade @Lotus: One would be hard-pressed to find a lamer way to die. I'm sure there are worse ways. You could slip, catch you shirt collar on a toilet-paper-holder and break your neck.
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