Dealing With Disaster ((Cabel and Leilani))

[DaemonGabrielle]

Leilani sighed and buried her hands deeper in the sand. While the ocean reminded her of her captors, she couldn't blame it for their actions. It had been in her life since her birth and even now, amidst the chaos of her churning emotions, it still brought her the comfort it did when she was younger.

Tipping her head back, she let the wind drag its fingers through her hair, trying to remember a happier time before the pirates.

"Dance!" the old captain demanded, yanking her chain harder then before, sending the small and malnourished dancer sprawling across the deck of the swaying ship. "Or it's back below you'll go!" The young pae gave a small whimper as she picked herself up, the chains causing her already weakend body to ache even more. Closing her eyes against the pain and tears, she started dancing as commanded, her hips swaying in time to music she could no longer hear."

Leilani jerked her head back up, physically removing herself from the memory. A shudder wracking her lithe frame, she wiped the tears suddenly streaming down her face.

"Why does it always happen like this?" she asked herself quietly. Could she remember nothing other than them? Burying her head in her hands, she gave into the wracking sobs, her teardrops the only warmth she felt as she cried miserably.  

[Teigra]

Further down the beach, another soul was trapped wandering in memories, though less traumatic, no less painful. Some were quite happy memories, of love and companionship, of finally finding where one belongs...only they were tainted by the knowledge that no such events could ever happen again. That chance was gone now.

Somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that, even if he'd never admit it to himself.

Other memories were less happy...memories of that terrible night in Dragnid Forest. Of horrendous events, cursed creatures that seemed to have crawled straight out of the Underworld itself to torment the citizens of the world above. Memories of desperation...and courage...and failure to protect those that meant the most.

His grip on his staff so tight that his knuckles ached and turned white, the male fae tore his eyes away from the open water, whirling on his heel to set off at a swift pace through the sands. He'd never been the type to act like this before...varying from quiet reminiscence...to angry frustration, as if something were building up inside, ready to burst. Of course, the former usually led to the latter. Still, there seemed little left of the old happy-go-lucky, sweet, sappy Cabel.

At least in times like this.

The sand provided resistance against his movement, so that even a swift walking pace felt like a workout. Still, Cabel pushed on, relishing the burning sensation building in his muscles. Pain meant you were still alive. He'd spent so long locked away, physically and emotionally, he'd wondered for a while if he wasn't dead himself in some sense. No more. He was alive...he knew that. But why? Why him...and not her?

He wanted answers and by the Guardians, he was going to get them. One day.

The fae was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he practically stumbled into the poor girl before noting her presence. Fortunately, he stopped short, her sobs tearing through the veil of anger and whirling thoughts, shaking him out of his daze. While he still held fresh memories of a not-so-encouraging encounter in his mind with another female angel...the hardened look on his face softened.

This wasn't someone out for attention, looking for someone to complain to, while refusing to listen to reason or even herself. This was a young woman who'd obviously come out here for solitude. She wasn't looking to dump her problems on anyone. She wasn't looking for spotlight.

From what he could tell, all she needed was an outlet.

Some small part of him...remembered being someone like that once. And needing someone else like that too. She'd been there for him, through his own trying times and personal battles. It would tarnish her...her memory...to even think of doing otherwise for someone else.

Crouching, leaving some distance so as not to startle her, Cabel dropped his staff in the sands and reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, a concerned look on his face. "Miss? I'm sorry if I'm intruding, but...are you alright?"  

[DaemonGabrielle]

Leilani gasped, the hand on her shoulder startling her badly. Her body flung itself away from the stranger's hand before her mind really had a chance to catch up. Trying hard to focus on his face, it took her a few seconds to realise it wasn't one of them looking at her, but another pae from the island.

Panicked and breatheless, she tried to hold back the ever present flood of emotions rolling through her, the biggest one at the moment was the embarrassment of having been caught crying like a small, weakened child. Even now, her body was still shaking and her breath hitched slightly at each indraw as though her body were still trying to cry without her.

Turning her face back toward to the sea so he wouldn't see how puffy her eyes were or the dark shadows under them that said this wasn't her first trip here, she tried to pull herself together.

She wanted to tell him to leave her along but she wasn't sure if she could speak without her voice showing just how tired and close to breaking she really was. But oh, how she hated him at this moment for being witness to the effort it took to force herself back together. For seeing how hard it was to pull her shields back in place and lock the darkness back up inside of her, where it festered with or without her consent.

And the entire time her instincts screamed at her to flee from this pae, this prying invasion of her broken inner self. But her pride wouldn't let her flee and it was the only thing she had left that was actually hers. The only thing that wouldn't let her tired, worn out body die like she had prayed it would so many years ago.

So she stayed that way, face turned to the sea with her body crouched, ready to flee but still facing him with what dignity she could muster at the moment. It was an ackward, uncomfortable position but she hadn't the slightest clue how to fix it without crying; or worse, running away.  

[Teigra]

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to scare you..." Cabel apologized, immediately holding up both hands and backing away. He made no move to follow her as she pulled away, nor towards his staff to leave. He simply pulled back, resting on his knees with his hands up where she could see them.

Except she wasn't looking anymore anyway.

He sighed, lowering his hands to the sand and watching her, though she turned her face away. If his previous mood had lasted, he might have read this as rejection of his offer of help and left in a huff. However, in the brief, yet lasting moment, when she'd stared at his face, he'd noticed something in her eyes that gave him pause.

Fear. Pure, unbridled fear. Like a wild animal, cornered by a predator.

Of course, given the identity of his childhood 'sibling,' he knew that look well enough, thanks.

That look of fear had awakened an old ache in his chest. Something he hadn't felt for a long time now, at least not for a stranger outside his own family.

Concern and compassion.

And so, some of the old feelings started coming back. Sensitivity. Understanding. "It's okay, I won't look," he muttered, keeping his distance and turning to sit with his back to her, eyes on the horizon. He crossed his arms over his knees, dropping his chin down and pretending to take in the view. In a slightly softer voice, he offered, "You know...it's alright to cry sometimes..."  

[DaemonGabrielle]

The sound of movement in the sand drew her attention but she only peeked from the corners of her eyes. Years of practice showe din the way she followed his movements without actually moving herself. Still motionless, she watched him back away slowly then turn. Frowning in confusion, she waited as he turned around and sat with his back toward her, giving her the moment of privacy she needed to put her daily 'face' back on.

She almost felt relieved for it. It had been so long since anyone had shown her a true bit of kindness without pity blatantly staring at her from their eyes that she didn't immediately recognize the gesture. But she took the moment anyway becuase she desperately needed it at the moment, pity be the reason he gave it or not.

Focusing back on herself, she struggled to stop the heavy misery from turning into sobs again. It was easier to do with someone here. It was even easier after he spoke.

This time it was anger swelling up to meet the empty space she kept inside her breast. The fact that he pretended to even remotley know what she was going through left her more than a little angry. No one ever really understood. She had given him the benefit of the doubt when he let her collect herself in privacy but to want to talk about it afterwards as though it was the weather was appalling.

Turning fully towards him, face and body as one, she breifly contemplated returning the break of fragile trust he had he so easily given her. Images floated swiftly through her mind of her physically showing him how angry she was but she settled on words instead. Besides, if she started hitting someone now, she might not stop.

"You are mistaken, sir. It is not now, nor will it ever be 'alright'" she said, the venom in her voice made the soft tilt of her voice thicker, causing her words to blend somewhat unharmoniously.  

[Teigra]

In the relative silence between the two while the young woman finished collecting herself, Cabel's mind took to wandering again. What sort of trouble could cause such a lovely young woman to be so upset? A side thought nearly tossed his entire train of thought off the tracks. What if someone had made his daughter cry like that? Even though she was finally grown, he still considered her his little girl. Guardians help anyone that dared even think of upsetting his baby girl...if such supposably all-powerful beings even existed at all.

But what about this young woman? He pondered the usual culprits, trouble at home, trouble with a boyfriend or lover, the loss...of a...loved one...

Thoughts screeching to a halt, a lump formed in his throat. Of course, that could easily have been the reason behind such an outpouring of emotion and pain. He knew that...quite personally. He shifted slightly, his own face hidden behind his crossed arms. Before he could stop them, his thoughts turned to Nienna. He couldn't help it. He could see her smiling...laughing...but no...no, he wouldn't picture her crying. Never. He...he couldn't.

Ignoring the slight burning sensation, he rubbed his eyes furiously, almost physically wrenching his thoughts away from her. He had a more pressing matter to deal with. Whatever it was, something had caused this poor young woman to dissolve into tears in her sorrow. It was completely understandable that she would cry while upset...even lash out angrily at help and...

...wait a minute.

Frowning, Cabel lifted his head and turned, blinking at her oddly. "My apologies. I grew up with the belief that at times, it's perfectly acceptable to need to cry. However, I only meant that crying is alright...not whatever caused the sorrow in the first place." He turned, facing her as he continued to speak. "If crying itself IS what you meant then, I have a question for you. If not crying, then what sort of method do you believe IS appropriate for the release of sorrow and emotion?"

Yes, it was a challenge, in a sense. But it was also an honest question. Somehow, he didn't think the young woman before him was all that weak at all. Everyone had weak moments. She could take simple question.  

[DaemonGabrielle]

Leilani wiped the wet stains angrily off her cheeks. Voice still venomous, she eyed him back, care and concern for an empty haunted look. "Nothing is appropiate, sir. Sorrow and self-pity do not help you. Releasing them at all only means you are weak and have been broken."Like she had been, so many years ago and just recently. Broken and weak in the bottom of a cargo hold, huddled in on herself to stop the hunger pains from making her sick. Her face still wet from her misery as they beat the resistance out of her.

The sudden hatred for her captors didn't shock her. She simply used it to bring her small defences stonger around her. The young dancer frowned, causing her still malnourished features to sharpen even further against her sunken eyes. She still hadn't fully gained back the weight she lost while in captavity and it didn't help that she had barely eaten or slept in the last few weeks that she had been back.

"What does it matter to you, anyway?" she asked, rising calmly and gracefully to her feet. "You don't even know me sir." she questioned back, her eyes hard flecks of choclate brown, answering to his challenge in a way that her body nor mind did not.  

[Teigra]

So he was right. She could take it.

Still, Cabel watched her with an unreadable look in silence before answering quietly. "Nothing? Nothing at all? Then I suppose that means I'm broken too. We all are in some way." His eyes drifted away from her, glancing out at nothing for a bit. "Sorrow is something you can't help. It's a sign that you're alive; that you care enough to feel sorrow. A sign that you have a heart. Sometimes it's painful; sometimes you'd rather cut your own heart out if it meant you could escape the pain. That's a heavy price to pay though."

He looked back at the angel. She showed signs of being malnourished...of suffering...and yet, there was a fiery life in her eyes. She wasn't lost yet; merely hovering on the brink.

"Sorrow and self-pity...they're like sores. If you don't let them out somehow, they grow and fester...like a disease. They make you sick inside until eventually you realize the only way to get rid of them is to let them out."

He trailed off, speaking more from experience than he was comfortable with. After a moment of silence, he shook his head. "No, you're right, I don't know you. At the same time, I'm not sure what that has to do with my concern for your well-being."  

[DaemonGabrielle]

So he did know what she was going through, in his own way. With an exasperated groan, she let go of her anger and sank back down into the sand. She knew all too well about the dark, festering ache inside her. She just wasn't sure she had the strength anymore to deal with it properly.

"Sir, I would do anything to end this misery I have been left in." she whispered faintly, her eyes dragging acorss the horizon. The storm clouds were getting thicker. How ironic that the sky would show her true feeling this easily.

"I guess it doesn't matter wether you know me or not. But I should warn you." she spoke, turning her attention back to this man whom seemed to know what she was going through. The only one who seemed to truly know. It could be an act, but she didn't care at this point. It hurt too much to care anymore.

"The entire village has been concerned over my well being and not a one of them would truly want to know what I feel." she finished up with a shrug. "I think it would scare them that their precious dancer has been so easily tainted and ruined."

And unable to dance without the frightening flashbacks of the hell she suffered. But the flashbacks were something she had never told anyone. Not even Theron, whom had rescued her.  

[Teigra]

Cabel's eyes darted back towards the young woman as she took a seat again, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth for a moment. So she wasn't completely shutting him out; she was still listening. Good.

Still, she had a long road ahead of her.

"Lots of Pae mean well when they offer to help," he admitted, nodding. "Can't blame them for that. They're just not always ready for what that helping might entail. Those with no touch of tragedy in their lives aren't equipped to help someone else deal with the same."

There seemed to be a lot of taint flowing around lately.

Cabel let the thought pass and continued speaking. "I can't say my experiences are anything like yours, or that I'll understand completely. What I can offer is understanding from someone else who has experienced tragedy and loss." He offered her a sad smile. "I'm not sure it will help much, miss, but...if I may be so bold as to make an observation? I get the feeling that from talking to you here...anything that was done to you? Was not done so easily."

He moved halfway to meet her, closing the space between them, but still remaining at a slight distance. "Before we get into much heavier matters again, perhaps a lighter exchange to get to know one another better? I'm Cabel." He offered her his hand, still at enough distance that she would have to willingly come the rest of the way to take it. He wasn't pushing her if she wasn't ready.  

[DaemonGabrielle]

Leilani stared a moment at his offered hand then turn back to the ocean, hoping the point was clear. She wasn't comfortable with touching. She was willing to talk and that was it. And he was lucky she was even doing that. She didn't trust this man nor his motives, but at least he had the same sad look she so often saw in her face nowadays.

"My name is Leili." she said, giving him a shortened nickname she had when was younger. Hopefully he wouldn't peice it together with the recent news of her return and the similarity in the two names. She didn't want to talk abou thtat nor did she want him basing his opinion on her old self, as everyone else had. She wasn't the same anymore.

"Since we're trying to be pleasant." she started, turning back to the (older?) man. "Why do you like the ocean so much?" The question came out o fnowhere, but suddenly she wanted to know if the ocean gave him the same sense of peace it gave her.  

[Teigra]

He'd have taken that as a rejection, had she not given her name anyway. Alright, he could take a hint. No touching. Fair enough. So, he lowered his hand and shifted position, leaning back on his arms and staring out at the ocean.

Even if she had given her full name, it would have meant little to Cabel. He'd been out of contact with most other Pae'il for so long, that if news didn't come to him through his daughter, Eudora, he wouldn't know anything at all happening on the isle. The last time he set out to get involved with isle events...the entire isle had dropped out of the sky and into the sea. Still...he was trying now. That had to count for something, right?

"Leili...pretty name," he commented cordially with a polite smile. He meant nothing more by the comment. It really was a pretty name. Almost, foreign-sounding in the way it rolled off the tongue.

"Why?" He tilted his head at the question, pondering it over for a moment. To be honest, he'd never really wondered about it...

"I'm not sure," he answered finally. "I just do. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I grew up near a river when I was little." He smiled to himself, letting the memories flow of the forest, the riverside, Takeko...even Kane, surprisingly enough. "I liked that the water was always so close, the sound of it flowing over the rocks was soothing...always so constant. Like a good friend."

His memory skipped ahead to adulthood...to his home in the forest... His expression sobered a bit, but he seemed unaware of it. "Later on, I had a home in the forest. It was....nice...being so close to nature, so secluded and sheltered. Though, I suppose it was more her home than mine," he mused aloud, making no conscious reference to who he was talking about.

Squinting at the sky, as if in pain, he continued in a soft voice, "Since she's been gone...I...I don't know. I stayed locked away so long, but it didn't help. I've taken to wandering more now and somehow, I always seem to find myself at the beach. I guess, I never really questioned why."  

[DaemonGabrielle]

She listened intently to him, nodding where she needed to or simply watching the emotions flow over his face. She understood. It was the same reason she came back again and again. No matter what, the ocean brough peace with it. She just wasn't sure if he realized it.

Curious about the 'her' he spoke off but choosing not to touch a subject clearly so painful to him, she looked back over the ocean and nooded a final time.

She drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on the before she spoke though. "It brings peace." she explained, a small wistful smile lighting her pointed features.

"No matter what happens to it, it always does what it's always done. It's unnaffected by the world and what happens in it. It just doesn't care." she stated simply. "It's the one of the few constants in this world."  

[Teigra]

Maybe he'd have been willing to talk to her about his own issues if she'd shown some obvious interest...but then again, maybe not. Cabel's memories were still fresh of the previous time he'd tried that...the only time. That hadn't gone so well.

So, instead, he continued staring out at the sea, blinking away a bit of gathering wetness. "Yeah, very few other things in this world seem to act the same, as if nothing else matters except it's own will. Even if it's not always peaceful, it acts of its own accord. The storms and resulting waves..." He trailed off for a moment, the conversation taking an odd turn.

Glancing over at Leili, he tilted his head. "A thought occurs. We're speaking as if the water itself is a living being, with feelings and behavior of its own. What about the storms? When the waves break over the land and the water flies high?" He frowned a bit, unsure how she was going to respond, but since he'd had the thought, he had to ask.

"Do you think the sea mourns?"  

[DaemonGabrielle]

Leilani paused to think about this. "I don't know. I think it takes back what it looses. I think it returns the sentiments payed to it. But I'm not so sure it mourns. " she replied, her eyes watching the storm clouds.

shaking her head, she looked back at him. "If it mourned, surely it wouldn't cause the same grief it itself felt." she said, voice soft.