Welcome to Gaia! ::

First, I'd like to say that I'm not a very religious person. But I am a geek/nerd/never-have-a-real-life sort of person, so this made me laugh. I hope my grandmother never reads it..


Genesis Take Two

1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from
those he created the Word.

2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed.
And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was
good.

3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened.
And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places.
And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place
to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.
Thus God created computers and called them hardware.

5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small
and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill
all the Memory.

6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer
will make new programs and govern over the computers and
programs and Data.

7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center;
And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said
You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE
Windows.

8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone.
He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a
creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire
the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does;
And God called the creature: the User.

9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS
and it was Good.

10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God.
And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to
run any programs ?

11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every
program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows
or we will die.

12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something
you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will
become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you
like by a simple click of your mouse.

13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and
easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless
- since Windows could replace it.

14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to
the Programmers that it was good.

15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers.
And God asked him - What are you looking for? And the
Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I
can not find them in the DOS. And God said - Who told you need
drivers? Did you run Windows?
And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to !

16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated
by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you.
And you will always sell Windows.

17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows
will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will
have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the
Programmers help.

18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the
User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors
and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door
and secured it with a password.




Here are some more geeky quotes for you to enjoy:


The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers.

once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'.
While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
" 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"
quoth the server, 404.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

When Life Gives You Questions, Google has Answers

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"

Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.

C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Windows Vista -now comes with free anger management courses.

my computer beat me at chess, but I beat it at kickboxing

What do people mean when they say, "The computer went down on me."

The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?

*thumbs up* xd

Booooooooooooo.