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A bedtime story.

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ManwithnoName
Captain

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:57 am


I stepped out onto the lawn where I had just parked my car. The front bumper inches away from a garden gnome and the corner post of her front porch. I walk around to the trunk of my car, open it up, and pull out a large rectangular black case. I walk up to her front door with it, but I do not knock. I lay the case against the door and walk away. Get in my car and start pounding on the horn and reving the engine. A light comes on in her bedroom window, a shadow appears then fades away, the she opens the door and the case falls in on her. I could see her face now angry, she was yelling, but I couldnt make out what she was saying over the horn that im still pounding. Finally she opens up the case, and inside of it lined from corner to corner are twenty-five tiny jewelry boxes. Now the look on her face has changed, and she looks at me and smiles as she begins to open each case up one by one. I ease off of the horn, and start watching her as she hurriedly goes through five of these boxes. Each of the boxes were empty, and she doesnt find what I have hid until the eleventh one. Inside the box she finds a small note, that has an address and a key. I toss her the keys to my car, she hugs me, kisses me happily, gets in and drives off to find the address.
What she forgets is she has now left her front door open for me, I now slip inside, and make my way up to her bedroom. I have sent her on a wild goose chase for an engagement ring that will take her on an hour long journey back here. I begin to rearrange her room. I place her bed dead center, and move the rest of the furniture, pictures on the wall, everything into the room next door. I pull out a stack of pictures I had tucked away in my jacket pocket, and begin to cover the walls with them. Out of my front pants pocket, i pull out a bag of red rose petals, I cover the bed, I run them all the way down to the front door. There I pick back up the black case, remove all of the empty boxes, and pull out the false bottom. In the bottom of the case are candles, some rope,a bottle of wine and two glasses. I fill one of the glasses with wine, and leave it setting on the end of the stair railing. I take the rest of the things, up to the room, light the candles, and wait.
A few minutes later a car pulls up to the house. I hear the front door open, and make my way to my hiding place behind the bedroom door. The steps creak as they make their way up the stairs, they enter the doorway, and I hit him over the back of the head, he falls shattering the wine glass. I place him on the bed, strip him completely naked, and tie him to the bed with the rope. I go back downstairs and remove another item from the case, fill the other wine glass, and place it on the stair railing. I make my way back up stairs.
She enters the house, and see the rose petals all along the floor, she becomes really excited, she grabs the wine glass, and takes a sip. She runs up the stairs to her bedroom, only to drop the wine glass immediately. In the center of the room, was the man she cheated on me with, tied to her bed, and I was now pounding him with a strap-on, with pictures of her and him all over the walls.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 2:07 am


11 Sep 07 Tuesday

There buggies crash at the center of the cereal aisle. Both not paying attention, looking for that box of cap'n crunch berry. Both say there apologies, but not really looking at each other, still looking for there cereal. They spot it, and reach out and touch hands, then look at each other and just smile. The first glimpse of her pale blue eyes makes his heart skip a beat. Everything you could dream for, dark brown hair, blue eyes and an ipod, pumping out a Queen song. He hands her the box, reaches for his own, notices its the last one, and politely says, "Hey girl, gimme that back."

10 Jan 09 Saturday

Thomas walked out into the middle of the aisle at Wal-Mart. He stopped next to a christmas display, bottles were stacked up to make a Mountain Dew christmas tree. He looked up above it, up through the skylight. Rain was falling against the glass, and he could catch a glimpse of the moon and stars through it. He felt someone grab his hand. He looked over to see a girl there, looking up through the same skylight. He smiled and kept looking up. Soon he felt a tug, and she was leading him to the mens bathroom. Tom just kept thinking, holy s**t, this kind of s**t never happens to me shes beautiful. She had on a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, just tight enough to see her amazing figure through it. They hit the bathroom, and she began kissing him, and pushing him into the stalls. He grabbed both rails in the handicap bathroom, and sat down on the toilet as she began to strip. She took off her shirt, but not her bra. Then began to remove her pants. Then just as she was about to pull off her panties. She muttered out in a oddly low voice with a strange melody....
"I have a c**k i tuck my s**t back,
my thighs hold my big ole ballsack."

14 Jan 09 Wednesday

She got into the car teary eyed. They both knew what was coming. He looked down at his lap as she slammed the car door. She started playing with the beads he has hanging off of his rearview mirror. They sit there a moment, listen to the Strokes together. He then leans over the back of his seat, and starts digging around the backseat. A few seconds later he pulls out a small christmas gift bag, and gives it to her. She opens it up, inside is a cd, and a belt buckle. The cd is the new Lil Wayne album, and the belt buckle is in the shape of a peace sign and has little fake diamonds embedded all in it. She looks down at the things then he finally breaks the silence. "Oh and one last thing." he says. "Spread em' and let me write the ABC's, ill pay special attention to the G."


18 Jan 09 Sunday

He was at a friends house party, trying to find a restroom. The downstairs bathroom was occupied. Some girl was drunk and half naked on the sink making out with some guy. So he went upstairs, he had never been upstairs at his friends house before, so he wasn't sure where the restroom was. The upstairs hall had three doors. One was slightly larger than the others, and painted navy blue. It caught his eye so he thought he would open it first, just out of curiousity. He opens it up, takes a step in, and the door slams behind him. The room, is odd, to say the least. The floor is solid white tile, and the walls were pitch black, and seemed to go on forever like space. In the center of the room was a single lava lamp, glowing blue with green blobs floating around in it. He wasnt alone though, there was a girl sprawled out on the floor. Eyes closed with a cd player laying on her belly, humming along to the music. She was pretty he thought. He thought he recognized the song, it sounded like Heart On, by the Eagles of Death Metal. He thought to himself "I have to talk to this girl", but he didnt want to bother her. "Aw hell." he thought, might as well make my move. So he kicks her in the side, and as she jumps up taking her headphones off, makes his move.
"Hey, where's the bathroom at up here?"

19 Jan 09 Monday

What seemed like hours went by as they sat on the couch, staring into each others eyes. This is what happens when you cant execute a boop boop and scoot he thought. "If you dont practice santeria, then you surely need to practice the Boop Boop and Scoot method for seducing the opposite sex." Thats what Burns said in the commercial anyway. But here he was staring deep into her chocolate brown eyes. He kept looking over at the TV, trying to act like nothing was wrong, why couldnt he get up the nerves?, why was he so nervous? He grabbed her hand, and squeezed it ever so gently. Then like a roar, James Brown was cued on the TV, "ive got that feeling, oh baby baby." The music faded, and Burns himself appeared. Burns Fury had on a solid white polyester suit, and a sparkly silver head band. It looked as if Burns were looking right at him. Burns pointed a finger at Jack, and Jack thought he could see his reflection in the Fury's sunglasses. "Execute the Boop Boop and Scoot, Jack. Give her the hot pants ah lightning Jack, put the magic back in her boots." Then Burns faded away, and Shamwow commercial started up. Jack looked over, back into to those brown eyes. Let go of her hand, reached up over her, and lightly pushed her on the shoulder with his fist. "Well I gotta go."


28 Apr 09 Tuesday

To be completely honest, my hands still havent recovered from the cold, and I regret what I have done. Maybe all of what I have done was done too quickly without thinking, but it all happened in a matter of realization. I was making my way from our valley, up to the mountains to get ice. Glacier ice, to melt for her, because she only wants the freshest, coolest water. But as im half way up the mountain, i realize she would never do this for me, and i doubt she would even leave the living room to the fridge to get me a coke. At that moment, i decided to kill the one i left behind. Her power over me scared and angered me. So I sat on a rock, and i plotted her death, and several hours later i made my way back home, with water from a nearby creek.
Later in the night, she laid next to me in bed, and i smelled her hair for one last time. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and pulled her in close. I kissed her neck, she awoke, and told me she was too tired. I was persistent, I turned her to me, and held her, i kissed her lips. I raise my hands to her head, and push her hair back from her face, as I ease my hands down to her neck.
A feminine figure wrapped tight in navy blue sheets lay at the bottom of a frozen hole at the top of the mountain now. I dug the hole with my bare hands, still in my sleepwear. I made the trip back home, and opened up the fridge. On the bottom shelf was two six packs of coca cola in glass bottles, she had bought them.

ManwithnoName
Captain


Hect

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:23 am


I ******** LOVE THE LAST ONE.

HOLY s**t. IF YOU YOU WROTE THAT YOU ARE A ******** GENIUS.
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The Legion Hall. (Just general.)

 
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