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 Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:36 pm
Persy stood at the edge of the East Ikebokuro territory, terrified. She had been here once before when she was a much younger, much more innocent cat and Raco had scared the living hell out of her. She had told herself that would would never go back there. This had been one of these reasons, in the back of her mind, of why she had never gone to visit Ishtar. Of course this was a lie she told herself to give her another excuse to not see him. She was terrified to see the boy that was her son .Not for fear of him hating her. No hate she could handle, no matter how cruel it could be. It was indifference that she was afraid of. Afraid that he just would care about her anymore at all. She wouldn't be surpriced. She would most certainly not care about a parent who had treated him so unfairly. Now it was time to make amends though. To atleast extend an olive branch to someone who, most like, would bat it away.
So the thin, pale cat looked around for the nearest guard nervously. She was frightened of what was going to happen, but she had to do this. She held onto her silver locket with her left hand, the hand with her ring on it. The ring she would never, ever take off.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:03 pm
Ishtar sat in a tree, trying his best not to think about the situation the gods had placed him in. His real mother had loved a boy that had killed him inside since he was a kitten, and neglected him fully. Valiant was now pregnant with the child of someone that didn’t love her, nor she him… and he had just saved the life of a man that was a mystery to him, a man he never really felt was his father. No he had created his own family when his had no time to acknowledge his existence even from the beginning. Raco, though his sisters biological father never really felt like his father either sadly… if anything it was Youko… and that in itself was a scary thought. The boy fingered the golden necklace he had been given by his adopted mother upon his entry to the territory, it made him feel safe… loved. The thought of his blond goddess brought a smile to his lips, which quickly faded when he saw bright red hair wandering around aimlessly, and obviously lost. The woman was lean, wearing the colors that burned into his memory. She would be hauled off to Raco or Youko and accused of trying to steal secrets unless he said something, but what could he say to the woman that had made his life as confusing as it was this night? Hell to the woman that did little else but create him, a big thing, but not enough for the mix.
“Mother.” He said softly, standing on the branch just as far as it would support him and watched her walk.
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:22 am
Persy continued to walk, her heart starting at every little sound. She left so uncomfortable in this place. She had her scythe on her back but she knew not to draw it while she walked. She knew for sure that if she did she would be most likely killed by them. She had had this happen before and she was sure that being Ishtars biological mother would just add to her list of crimes rather than take away from them. This is what she had gathered from her conversation with Valiant some time ago. She felt sick as she walked along, using all the courage she had gained from her talk with Kieran to keep her moving forward rather then just hiding away like her mind wanted her too. Between the possibility of meeting her son again and meeting cats which would most likely kill her in an instant this took almost more courage than she had needed before. But she was here now and she wasn't going to leave. After all, biologically she was his mother, she should at least meet her son again though she was sure it would only cause him more pain. But she needed to free herself, to apologize. She knew that these were all selfish reasons but she needed to do this, after all it would hopefully free him too.
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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:43 pm
Ishtar watched her walk away with a pained expression falling over his mildly contorted features, his mother… why had she come here, she was going to get herself killed trying to find him and do whatever it was she was trying to do. Jumping down lightly, and making little to no noise he followed her, trying his best not to make his presence known. In that time he composed his features and slipped into his typical mask of insolence. One of his eyes twitched, being the only thing to show that he was nervous and terribly afraid of why Percy would have come all this way just to wander in his territory, it was far too much of a coincidence. Perhaps she would try to take him from Val, claming maternal rights that she had never before been interested in. Or perhaps dad had rejected her and she came here seeking her own suicide. Ah how life was all a game of catch and release. Deciding it was best to make himself known and accompany her, Ishtar called out to the mother he had never truly known as his own, only the woman that gave birth to him.
“Mother I don’t know why you would risk your life coming here, so perhaps you shall indulge me?”
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 11:49 am
Persy shot around, her eyes meeting her sons own ones for the first time since a long time ago. How Ishtar had grown, how much he looked liked Kieran but still had her own feminine features. And his eyes, they were so similar to hers. She had to just stand they to take him in. She had never forgotten these details. She remembered the exact second those red eyes opened to look at her. She remembered every detail. But of course he had grown so much, into a handsome young man that she didn't know. She wished she did. She wished that she had seen every step of his growth. Guilt flooded the thin cats face. She had started eating again since her talk with Kieran but hadn't completely recovered from it. She looked at him, her eyes sad but loving as she looked down at her son.
"Um...well..." she started, trying to focus her mind. "Well...with everything that has happened and...I've been wanting to come see you for a very long time...but it wasn't until this happened that I could pluck up the courage to...to come visit and tell you...how very sorry I am." she finished, her half red half orange eyes focused intensely on his red ones that were so very similar.
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:34 pm
Ishtar felt his mask slip into place. “You’re not well Percy, you should be taking care of yourself better. Imagine how dad feels to see you like this later.” Ish had no fond memories of his mother or father, for the only time he was with them was before his mind could recall. Remembering the courtesy he had obligated himself to from the beginning, Ishtar bowed to his mother correctly, sweeping his arm out and then to his stomach. “I do not completely understand why it is you’re here, perhaps if you just asked for help I could understand it, but it seems that you have something more to say but will not say what it is you mean.”His eyes narrowed as he looked her over and sighed, perhaps he was being far too distant and rude, but he had been hurt. When his parents had time for everyone but him… even a boy that was ultimately their end… it was not right in his mind. He wanted her to make it up to him, but not even he knew why or how.
Perhaps he was being vindictive, perhaps he was being rude, but he wanted to know his real mother, the one that had only been a shadow in bed time stories.
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:38 am
Persy nodded vaguely. "I'm starting to get better now." she said softly. "I'm perfectly fine." She was telling the truth. In comparison to how she had been a few days ago the cat was positively healthy. Before her ribs could be clearly seen and her skin had been a greyish colour but now she had put on a small amount of weight and her skin was slowly returning to it's normal colour. Then Persy shook her head softly, her red curls falling about her face. "I don't need help Ishtar." she said, looking at him a little sadly. It worried her that he would feel that the only reason she would be her would be to look for something. But Persy knew that he had no reason to think otherwise. After all she hadn't seen him in such a long time. Why would she come visit wtithout an alterier motive? "I'm just here...to apologise to you Ishtar. I don't really know what else to say. You seem so happy here, to a point that I feel that you would have had a happier life here anyway but I still wish...I don't know...I'm just being selfish I guess." she said quietly, smiling softly, tears in her eyes. "You've grown up to be so handsome..."
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:28 am
Ishtar shifted uncomfortably; he didn’t do well in emotional situations, especially ones regarding him. The only person that could get him to open up better then val was marrie... but that was entirely different then what the woman in front of him wanted. Simple straight forward answers were what he preferred, not this delusional pathetic excuse to say sorry.
“Don’t say anything you don’t mean. There has to be a reason for you to say sorry so say it. I don’t have all day, every second I stand here waiting for you to become strong enough to tell me what you mean, another cat quite possibly lay dying.” True to his father’s habits, even if he didn’t know it, Ishtar dragged a hand through his hair, glaring fiercely at the ground. All he had ever wanted was his family to be proud of him, but when he realized that there was no way they ever would be he had found another. A family that would actually listen and care. Calmly he stalked forward until he stood right in front of the thin female.
“Why the hell would I accept your apology if you have never really been there for me? Why the hell would I pretend that it really ******** matters that you’re my biological mother?!” his voice had risen almost hysterically, it was too much … her being here, in his sanctuary… hurting him like this. Why was this hurting so much?!
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:09 am
Persy shook her head slowly, looking at her son, whom she hardly knew with worn out eyes. She was getting better, sure, but the last few weeks...or had it been months...had taken their toll on the female. She looked intently. "I'm glad your happy here Ishtar. I'm sorry I was such a horrible...well nonexistant mother to you. That's all I wanted to say...alright?" she said softly. "I have no alterier motive, I have nothing I want from you. I just wanted to apologise."
She listen to his shouted, every exclaimed word drilling into her mind, staying to haunt her another night when she thought about how incapable a mother she was. "I don't expect you to accept my apology. I don't deserve to be forgiven, Ishtar, nor do I expect to be." she said quietly, trying to prevent tears. She didn't want to break down now, she could later. "It doesn't matter to you Ishtar...but it does to me I guess. I'm glad your happy. I'll take my leave now..." she said turning around and starting to walk away, her body shaking with regret. She didn't expect to be forgiven. But being told she wasn't still hurt. She knew it would be like this but she still hadn't prepared herself for it. But she didn't regret coming to see him. She needed to, though she was afraid it wasn't what Ishtar needed. Maybe one day he may understand? Maybe...but she doubted it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:33 pm
Ishtar gathered himself quickly, glaring after her. "you really truly aren't worth my time, running away right when the conversation didn't go in your head. You abandoned ME mother, I may be a d**k, but at least I didn't run away during your little speech, therefore you can hear me out. DO you really have any idea how long I waited for you to come visit, for you or father to show even a ounce of interest in my life?" Ishtar paused, his face turning red, like he was about to shout again, but quickly he set his jaw and narrowed his eyes, the perpetual coldness that radiated off of him usually coming back rather then the hot anger he had previously.
"you know once, I was stupid enough to belive family was everything, that one day just maybe you could learn to love me and not just the idea of another one of your spawn. I always had hope, and I can tell you one thing, I thought you would come a hell of a lot sooner then you have." Ishtar finished, not moving a muscle, nothing showing how pain filled the young cat was. He was in pain, and she had caused it. His parents had killed him inside, and the only time he felt even remotely alive was with his true love. Which coincidently he had no intention of telling them about.
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Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 2:40 pm
Persy stopped in her tracks, each word stabbing into her chest like needles. She still couldn't understand herself why it had to be now that she could pluck up the courage to come her. After all that had happened she was willing to come her, her mind fragile. She supposed, in the back of her mind, that it was because of all the pain and blame she had gone through so far what was a little more. She turned around, her face red with tears but her voice angrier then she had been before. "Of course I know I'm not worth your time. I know I abandoned you! I don't know what I can do. There is no way to even start trying to ask you to forgive me. I alone have put you through something a child should have never gone through. I know this." she replied, her voice rising. All this time she stood with her back to him, unable to turn around and see the face that looked at her.
She swallowed hard. "Ishtar...nothing I say will change anything. I know this." she started, her voice strong but sad. "I don't deserve forgiveness or a second chance or anything. There is no excuse. But...I've always loved you. I've thought about you every night. I was stupid enough to believe that you felt because you wanted to, that I would ruin your life altogether if I came after you." she said turning around again but not approaching him, keeping her distance. "I know you will never believe me but I wanted to come here every day, to take you back." she said quietly before shaking her head. "Of course this changes nothing of my actions, it never will."
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