Hi there,
I'm a new member of this guild and I'd like to take the time to introduce myself and possibly ask for advice. Well here goes.
When I as younger around the age of four-five my mother and father were still together and we (mom,dad, me, older sister) moved to Germany for about a year. Over there (grandmother informed me I'll explain later) I was told that my sister got her mouth washed out with soap at one point by my parents. My mother is alcoholic, a liar, and she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. My father is just a lazy person that doesn't really do much. More on them later. But I was also informed that one time or another they were not able to find me. My father coming home from what ever he had to and my mom coming home drunk... Low and behold here I was on our neighbor's couch sleeping away... here's the kicker some how even our neighbor's didn't even know I was there. Go figure! Anyway short year later we move back here and my father goes off with is mother in the city only saw him face to face once thereafter. Well my older sister and I went all around the state, until we finally settled near where I live today. And she found another love interest to feed her alcoholism so yeah. One day, I come into the kitchen looking for something to eat (keep in mind I'm still a young one) and I try calling for my mother and she was passed out hung over from the night before. So I continue trying but then her love interest comes in goes into the living room and starts beating her... I go see what's going on being curious and he picks me up and throws me across the room... no real damage other than emotional problems I'll get to. Well it was that,the events in Germany, and my mothers 3 suicide attempts as well as other things that led to me living with my grandparents for awhile. They gained custody over my sister and I by practically kidnapping us and suing for custody over us. It worked. Well my grandmother is an alcoholic as well or was but to me she still acts like it. But she was my main support for quite some time but then stuff happened. Well you know the nice person I told you about that threw me across the room? Well my mom had a baby with him giving me a little half sister... Well after she was born my gram went to my older sister as my pap went toward my younger. Here I am stuck in the middle. Now granite throughout my entire elementary and high school education I've been independent to the point of getting A's and B's sometimes C's on tougher subjects. But I still yearned for a sense to belong some where. Here we are today, I'm 18 almost 19 (on the 26th of this month smile ) and I'm soon to be off to college. My mom is like five minutes away but I can't fully trust her and my dad is about 1.5 hours away and like I said I have only seen him face to face once since Germany. I did talk to my father once and awhile as I got older but then he started blaming me for not calling and stuff... he pulled this stuff on me when I was still young like 10 if not younger and I got fed up with trying to be placed as the bad guy when the parent isn't even being the parent. Sure for maybe two years he sent my sister and I birthday,holidays cards with money in them but then he stopped. He started blaming us... when he walked away and he let me be abused. I can't trust my parents and to be honest I feel like a horrible person. Because I'm one of those most forgiving loving people but it's really hard for me. I'm emotional, I cry, and yes I'm a guy... this bothers me too stupid stereotypical male stuck in my head. Well to let out my emotions I write, it's mostly prose but I LOVE writing I am gonna be working on getting published when I start college. There's so much I can share my writings just PM me I love getting opinions. I guess through out this I've given some solid facts... Some problems I have are the parent thing, the lack of a male role model which kills me but I have great guy friends but I need something constant. There's other things I can say just wanting to give an intro.. if you want to know anything else don't be afraid to ask..I'm an open book.
